I drop into a curtsey, I could almost fall to my knees. ‘Please, my lord, don’t send me back to Lambeth either,’ I say. ‘I beg of you. The Lady Anne is not displeased with me, she laughed when I told her …’ I break off. I realise, too late, that to tell my uncle that I have told the king’s betrothed wife that although he is fat and old he is also unspeakably vain, is perhaps not the cleverest thing to say. ‘I didn’t tell her anything,’ I correct myself. ‘But she is pleased with me and she says she will take my advice even though my grandmother thinks I am a dolt.’
His sardonic bark of laughter warns me that he agrees with my grandmother’s verdict.
‘Well, not my advice, exactly, sir; but she is pleased with me, and so is the king, for he sent me a gold brooch. Oh, please, uncle, if you let me stay I will never speak out again, I won’t even breathe! Please, I beg of you. I am utterly innocent of everything!’
He laughs again.
‘I am,’ I say. ‘Please, uncle, don’t turn your face from me, please trust me. I shall be a good girl, I shall make you proud of me, I shall try to be a perfect …’
‘Oh, hush, I am pleased with you,’ he says.
‘I will do anything …’
‘I said, I am pleased with you.’
I look up. ‘You are?’
‘You seem to have behaved delightfully. The king danced with you?’
‘Yes.’
‘And talked with you?’
‘Yes.’
‘And seemed much taken with you?’
I have to think for a minute. I would not have called him exactly ‘taken’. He was not like a young man whose eyes drift down from my face to peek at my breasts while he is talking to me, or who blushes when I smile at him. And besides, the king almost fell back into me when Lady Anne rebuffed him. He was still shocked. He would have spoken to anyone to hide his hurt and embarrassment.
‘He did talk to me,’ I repeat helplessly.
‘I am very pleased that he honoured you with his attention,’ my uncle says. He is speaking slowly as if he is a schoolmaster, and I should be understanding something.
‘Oh.’
‘Very pleased.’
I glance across at Lady Rochford to see if this is making any sense for her. She gives me a slight smile and a nod.
‘He sent me a brooch,’ I remind him.
He looks at me sharply. ‘Valuable?’
I make a little face. ‘Nothing to the sables that he sent Lady Anne.’
‘I should hope not. But it was of gold?’
‘Yes, and pretty.’
He turns to Lady Rochford. ‘Is it?’
‘Yes,’ she says. They exchange a small smile, as if they understand each other well.
‘Should His Majesty honour you by speaking with you again, you will endeavour to be very charming and pleasing.’
‘Yes, my lord uncle.’
‘From such little attentions do great favours flow. The king is not pleased with the Lady Anne.’
‘He sent her sables,’ I remind him. ‘Very good ones.’
‘I know. But that is not the point.’
It seems the point to me, but very cleverly I don’t correct him but stand still and wait.
‘He will see you daily,’ my uncle says. ‘And you may continue to please him. Then perhaps he will send you sables. Do you understand?’
This, about the sables, I do understand. ‘Yes.’
‘So if you want presents, and my approval, you will do your best to behave charmingly and pleasantly to the king. Lady Rochford here will advise you.’
She nods at me.
‘Lady Rochford is a most skilled and wise courtier,’ my uncle goes on. ‘There can be few people who have seen more of the king throughout his life. Lady Rochford will tell you how you are to go on. It is our hope and our intention that the king will favour you, that he will, in short, fall in love with you.’
‘Me?’
They both nod. Are they quite mad? He is an old old man, he must have given up all thoughts of love years ago. He has a daughter Princess Mary, far older than me, nearly old enough to be my mother. He is ugly, his teeth are rotten and his limp makes him waddle like a fat old goose. A man like this must have put all thoughts of love out of his head years ago. He might think of me as a granddaughter but not in any other way.
‘But he is marrying Lady Anne,’ I point out.
‘Even so.’
‘He is too old to fall in love.’
My uncle shoots such a scowl at me that I give a little squeak of terror.
‘Fool,’ he says shortly.
I hesitate for a moment. Can they really mean that they want this old king to be my lover? Should I say something about my virginity and my spotless reputation, which in Lambeth seemed to matter so very much?
‘My reputation?’ I whisper.
Again my uncle laughs. ‘That doesn’t matter,’ he says.
I look towards Lady Rochford, who was supposed to be my chaperone in a lewd court and watch my behaviour and guard my precious honour.
‘I can explain it all to you later,’ she says.
I take it then that I should say nothing. ‘Yes, my lord,’ I say very sweetly.
‘You are a pretty girl,’ he says. ‘I have given Lady Rochford money for you to have a new gown.’
‘Oh, thank you!’
He smiles at my sudden enthusiasm. He turns to Lady Rochford. ‘And I will leave a manservant with you. He can serve you and run errands. It seems that it may become worth my while to keep a man with you. Who would have thought it? Anyway, keep me informed as to how things go on here.’
She rises from her seat and curtseys. He goes out without another word. The two of us are left alone.
‘What does he want?’ I ask, utterly bewildered.
She looks at me as if she were measuring me for a gown, she looks me up and down. ‘Never mind for now,’ she says kindly. ‘He is pleased with you, that’s the main thing.’
Anne, Blackheath, 3 January 1540
This is the happiest day of my life, because today I have fallen in love. I have fallen in love, not like a silly girl falls in love, because a boy catches her eye or tells her some foolish story. I am in love and this love will last forever. I am in love with England this day, and the realisation has made this the happiest day of my life. This day I realise that I am to be queen of this country, this rich, beautiful country. I have been travelling through it like a fool, with my eyes shut – in all fairness, some of the time I have been travelling through it in darkness and in the worst weather that I could imagine – but today it is bright and sunny and the sky is so blue, blue as duck eggs, the air is fresh and bright, as exciting and cold as white wine. Today I feel like the gyrfalcon my father used to call me, I feel as if I am riding high on cool winds, looking down on