Конни Гранма

The Lonely Hearts Bar


Скачать книгу

here’s our humble abode,» said Lee, pointing at the rusty staircase I’d seen before.

      «Soon the grass’ll be growing up the wall,» David remarked.

      «Shame it’s not marijuana! At least we could make some money off it.»

      They both chuckled. The staircase led to a little house that was so overgrown it was utterly invisible at night. Inside, it turned out to be pretty cozy. There was one room, a tiny bathroom without a bath, a beat-up couch, an armchair and a TV. The walls were covered in illegible childish script. Somehow, that homely mess made me feel good, practically gleeful in a childish way.

      «So what movie were you planning on watching?»

      «Well, we’ve got movies and cartoons,» David suggested.

      «Which ones?» Lee screwed a light bulb into the ceiling.

      «Treasure Planet,» replied David.

      «That’s my favorite cartoon!» I said excitedly.

      «Well, wanna watch that?»

      «Why’s it your favorite?» David asked.

      «Any more questions, Curious George?» Lee quipped.

      «Pretty sure you’re the only curious one in the room.»

      «Ha. Ha,» Lee grumbled, as David quickly gathered the trash off the couch.

      The guys turned on the movie, threw a bag of popcorn into the microwave, and got out a bottle of coke.

      «Could I just have water?» I asked.

      «Coming right up. I could even throw in some lemon juice,» said Lee.

      «That’d be great.»

      David sat down beside me and gave me a look.

      «What’s up?»

      «The pizza was really good,» he said.

      «Here’s your water.» Lee came back.

      «Thanks.»

      We entered the world of Treasure Planet. Lee and I watched attentively, but David was constantly huffing, getting up, walking from corner to corner, getting distracted and throwing popcorn at Lee. Towards the end, he got out a cigarette but then looked at me and tucked it behind his ear.

      I guess that was the night we became best friends.

      We spent all our time together: our short breaks on the university lawn, «fancy» drinks like ice water at the bar, evenings watching cartoons and, when things onscreen got hot and steamy, they covered my eyes and threw popcorn at the TV.

      Every day was full of new adventures, jokes, and arguments about something or other.

      But I still had spells of terrible, overwhelming loneliness. Especially when I arrived at my dark apartment, opened the window and listened to the hum of the city, gazing at the stars. I’d quietly sing a melody to myself that sprung up from somewhere in my mind.

      One day, the doorbell rang:

      «I didn’t wake you up, did I?»

      «No Dave. I wasn’t sleeping.»

      «You sure?»

      «M-hm.»

      Lee’s voice came over the phone:

      «Then open the door!»

      I ran to the door and slowly opened it. Standing in front of me were my two favorite assholes. They patted my head in turn and came in.

      «Wait, where’s the coat rack?» Dave exclaimed.

      «I moved it. It’s by the closet,» I replied.

      Lee lugged three large bags into the apartment.

      «What’s that?»

      «We decided to move in with you!» Dave announced.

      «Don’t scare her like that,» Lee stopped him. «He’s joking. The bags are full of the grossest stuff we could find at the store.»

      «Like what?»

      «Take a look.»

      They pulled the bags into the kitchen.

      «Frozen pizza!» Dave exclaimed.

      «Chicken drowning in cheese!» Lee exclaimed.

      «Arugula!» I chimed in.

      «So, we have a giant box of frozen pizza, which, by the way, will go foul the day after tomorrow.» Dave chuckled.

      «Plus a huge bag of chicken drowning in cheese and…» Lee looked at me, «what did you say?»

      «Arugula.»

      «Arugula?» He asked again and glanced at Dave, «are you joking? A giant bag of arugula

      «Can someone please explain what these bags are? And where you got them?»

      «One of our friends is closing down his store and we ended up with some of his groceries,» Dave explained.

      «You chose a bag of arugula. A bag. Of Arugula. You can’t even buy food like a normal person!» Lee huffed and went to the bathroom.

      «You moron! I didn’t choose it. They gave me food, so I took it. You should just be thanking me that it wasn’t a jar of hummus!»

      «I don’t like hummus either.»

      «No one likes hummus.»

      «My dad likes hummus.»

      Lee returned and sighed deeply, his eyes fixed on the bag of arugula.

      «I know some good arugula recipes,» I volunteered.

      «You see! And here you are acting like some hysterical little girl!» David said, throwing the bag of arugula at Lee.

      «Are you guys hungry?» I asked, shooting David a look.

      «Starving, to be honest,» replied Lee.

      «I’ll make pasta with arugula and chicken drowning in cheese.»

      That’s how we started informal culinary classes in the kitchen. The guys helped me cook, kicking and shoving one another all the while. Nonetheless, everything turned out delicious. It was a fun evening. We fell asleep early in the morning, surrounded by plates of pasta and a mountain of dirty dishes. I didn’t sleep long at all. As soon as I was up, I showered, changed and quietly went out onto the balcony.

      «Hi.» Dave appeared at the balcony door.

      «Did I wake you up?»

      «No no. Hard to sleep, that’s all. Also, it’s really hot in there.»

      «We were cooking all night; what do you expect?»

      «Don’t even talk about food,» he clutched his stomach and made an exaggerated grimace.

      «But you liked it, don’t lie.»

      «That’s for sure,» he joined me, propping his elbows on the railing, «what were you thinking about?»

      «The view. It’s beautiful.»

      «Yeah… Los Angeles. The City of Lost Angels.»

      «I could use some rain.»

      «I like rain too,» he said, running a hand through his hair.

      «Why’d you choose to come here of all places?»

      «Did you never have a poster with a view of Los Angeles at night in your room by your bed?»

      «Nope. But there was a fridge magnet with ‘Hollywood’ written on it.»

      «I had that poster up on my wall for a long time. And I guess one day it felt like a sign. Of course, I had no idea how it got there.»

      «Where was this?»

      «When I was still in Boston, at my foster parents’ place.»

      «Did you live with them for long?»

      «Up until I was sixteen. They’re good people! But then, a little while later,