defeated. She really didn’t have the energy for an argument. Ignoring Alf’s glare, she sighed and walked over to the hallway dresser, scrabbling around in the messy drawer to find the Chinese take-away menu.
‘Don’t be like that – it’s only for a few days. Besides, I told him it’s best to come first thing tomorrow. He’s made arrangements to stay with his sister tonight. What with her four kids and the brother-in-law that doesn’t like him – he won’t be welcome there any longer.’
‘Look, it’s fine,’ Kate snapped, picking up the phone handset and punching in the take-away number. ‘I’ll get the spare room sorted.’ She heard the line starting to ring and was grateful for the distraction.
She turned her back toward Alf, silently seething. Did they not have enough of their own unsaid issues without those of a childhood friend?
Alf watched as Kate picked at her food, barely lifting the fork to her lips. He’d tried endlessly to make light conversation, but she’d shot him down with one-word answers. He was tired of the tension. Even Sam seemed to have picked up that something wasn’t right and was wisely tucked away in the corner of his box.
He reached for another prawn ball and dipped it into the sweet and sour sauce, taking a bite. ‘Can I have your water chestnuts?’ he asked, pointing his fork to Kate’s plate. ‘I know you don’t like them.’
Kate looked up with a troubled expression. ‘Sure.’ She stabbed her fork into the visible chestnuts and using her knife, scraped them off onto the side of Alf’s plate. ‘I do like them, but I’m not very hungry tonight.’
‘I can see that. You’ve barely touched your food. Is everything okay?’ Concerned, he set down his cutlery and looked straight at her. ‘This isn’t about Marcus staying is it? Because if so I can always tell him that plans have changed.’
She was quick to answer. ‘No, don’t do that. It’s fine for Marcus to stay – besides I’ve already put clean bedding in the spare room now.’ She met his eyes. ‘I just feel tired, that’s all.’
‘Okay, as long as you’re sure.’ He reached across to squeeze her hand. ‘You look shattered, though – and you must be if you’re imagining that you do actually like water chestnuts.’ His smile ceased as Kate snatched away her hand.
‘Why do you always think you know everything about me?’ She narrowed her eyes. ‘Yes, I do like water chestnuts and I have done so for a long time.’ She stood up from the table, taking her plate with her and walked to the dustbin. ‘Clearly you haven’t been paying attention.’
‘There’s no need to snap at me, Kate. And, for the record, I do know a great deal about you. In case you haven’t noticed we’ve spent the last seven years living together.’
Scraping her food off the china plate angrily into the dustbin, Kate didn’t rise to his remark. It was on the tip of her tongue to point out that she had very much noticed they’d spent nearly the last decade living together. And that was the problem. Was it ever going to be anything more than just two people living together, like two flatmates? Was there ever going to be any real mention of a family or proper future together?
‘Like I said, I’m tired. I think I’ll have an early night.’ She rinsed her plate under the tap, before plunging it into the bowl of soapy dishwater. ‘Just leave everything in the sink. I’ll do it in the morning.’
Alf took a sip of water to stop himself from saying something he’d regret. Replacing his glass on the table, he picked up a napkin and dabbed at his mouth. Kate was already walking out of the kitchen. ‘Okay. Good night.’
He heard her walk slowly up the stairs and found that his own appetite was suddenly waning. She was behaving oddly out of character and had been ever since the party. It was true that they rarely had big nights out any more, but surely her surliness couldn’t still be attributed to the aftereffects of alcohol? Alf felt there was something more to it.
Picking up the remainder of food on the table, he began to clear away. Had the puppy been a mistake? Was that why she was being odd? He couldn’t imagine his sweet, lovable Kate being angry at him for giving her something she’d always hinted at. She loved animals, she was always the first one to reach out and show attention to anything with a fluffy tail. Why would she be constantly fussing over Sam if he was unwanted? It couldn’t be the puppy?
Josh’s comment also came to the forefront of Alf’s mind. Walking into the office that morning, he hadn’t been surprised to hear about the party amongst the weekend gossip, but he had been surprised when Josh had said they’d all thought for a moment there that he was going to propose. He’d scoffed at the idea, momentarily stunned that his gesture had come across that way. Josh had said it was the small box that did it and his words preceding the puppy.
Part of him now wished he hadn’t taken the advice of the kindly dog breeder, Evon. She’d been so overawed with his idea of presenting the puppy as a birthday gift that she’d insisted on contributing the name-tag. In hindsight, perhaps he should have just put the tag on the puppy and instead presented the puppy first. Yet Evon had told him she’d made the tag look presentable in a nice box and it would be more of a surprise for Kate to see the tag first. He couldn’t argue with that. Kate’s face had been a picture. Not to mention the tears of joy she’d shed when he’d placed the puppy in her arms. For a moment he’d been distracted and horrified when he’d noticed the pee all over her party dress, but she’d quickly reassured him with a kiss and a smile…
No, he was pretty certain that Kate hadn’t misconstrued the box as a proposal. She knew him too well. If and when he did propose, it would never be done in front of an audience. She’d know that. He’d want it to be special and private. Besides, they’d agreed to give it a few years yet. They’d had a long chat on her 30th birthday – both of them feeling it would be better to wait a while until their work and financial situations were more stable. She hadn’t even mentioned the idea of engagement or marriage since.
He knew from experience that when a woman was getting itchy feet about an idea, there would be unmissable hints. Kate hadn’t done any of that. She’d seemed happy enough with the way things were and she surely would have mentioned it if there were any problems he wasn’t aware of…. So what else could it be?
He was stumped.
Kate pulled the heavy, patterned duvet up further until it covered her ears. The disruptive sounds from the television could still be heard wafting their way up the staircase and through the landing into the bedroom. She could just about make out Alf’s loud snores from the sofa, amongst the din.
Sniffling into her pillow, she closed her eyes and exhaled – trying to concentrate on nothingness and let her wandering mind rest. Her body was exhausted and she could barely move. Yet her head was a whirlwind of activity.
Suddenly remembering her morning alarm, she reached toward her bedside table and begrudgingly set the timer to 5.30am. Her early-morning starts at Oak Park had never been a problem for her before. She’d always loved her job – the residents, especially Vivian and Lil, were like family to her. However, for the past couple of weeks she’d been contemplating her future an awful lot. Even before the party, when she’d been so sure that Alf would propose, she’d wondered how married life would change their routines and life together. Now, with a strong and urgent feeling that all wasn’t right with their relationship, she was beginning to wonder if she truly was happy with other parts of her life.
Snuggling back under the cover, she thought about Lillian’s story and drastic measures to prompt her second husband into marrying her. If only she had it within herself to be as proactive and bold. But she knew that wasn’t the answer. It wasn’t even about engagement or marriage… It was about their lack of communication and the unsaid things that lay between them. The crossed wires and dashed hopes.
The simple truth of the matter was that she wanted Alf to want her and only her, to think of her as the future mother of his children and his forever life partner. She didn’t want to have to influence his decision in asking her to marry him. Wasn’t