Katherine Heiny

Standard Deviation: ‘The best feel-good novel around’ Daily Mail


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       Copyright

      4th Estate

      An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers

      1 London Bridge Street

      London SE1 9GF

       www.4thEstate.co.uk

      This eBook first published in Great Britain by 4th Estate in 2017

      First published in the United States by Alfred A. Knopf, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, in 2017

      Copyright © 2017 Katherine Heiny

      Cover design by Heike Schüssler

      Cover images © plainpicture/Rudi Sebastian

      Katherine Heiny asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

      Portions of this work originally appeared, in different form, in the following publications: Chapter one has appeared as “Fluent in Her Language” in the Antioch Review, Winter 2012; chapter two appeared as “The Seamy Side” in the Southern Review, Summer 2013; chapter three appeared as “We’re Here” in the Southern Review, Winter 2013; chapter four appeared as “Lame Duck” in the Gettysburg Review, Summer 2014; chapter five appeared as “Leviathan” in Glimmer Train, Issue 90, Spring / Summer 2014.

      A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

      This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

      All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins

      Source ISBN: 9780008105525

      Ebook Edition © May 2018 ISBN: 9780008105518

      Version: 2018-06-27

       Dedication

      FOR Ian

       Epigraph

       Before you became my mistress I led a blameless life.

      LAURIE COLWIN

      Contents

       Cover

       Title Page

       Chapter | Three

       Chapter | Four

       Chapter | Five

       Chapter | Six

       Chapter | Seven

       Chapter | Eight

       Chapter | Nine

       Acknowledgments

       Keep Reading …

       Also by Katherine Heiny

       About the Publisher

       CHAPTER | One

      It had begun to seem to Graham, in this, the twelfth year of his second marriage, that he and his wife lived in parallel universes. And worse, it seemed his universe was lonely and arid, and hers was densely populated with armies of friends and acquaintances and other people he did not know.

      Here they were grocery shopping in Fairway on a Saturday morning, a normal married thing to do together—although, Graham could not help noticing, they were not doing it together. His wife, Audra, spent almost the whole time talking to people she knew—it was like accompanying a visiting dignitary of some sort, or maybe a presidential hopeful—while he did the normal shopping.

      First, in the produce section, they saw some woman with a baby in a stroller and Audra said, “Oh, hi! How are you? Are you going to that thing on Tuesday?” and the woman said, “I don’t know, because there’s that other meeting,” and Audra said, “I thought that got canceled,” and the woman said, “No, it’s still on,” and Audra said, “I wish they wouldn’t double-book this stuff,” and the woman said, “I know,” and Audra said, “Well, if we don’t go, will everyone say bad things about us?” and the woman said, “Probably,” and it wasn’t that Graham wasn’t paying attention, it wasn’t that he missed the specifics—it was that there were no specifics, that was the way they actually talked.

      He took his time thumping melons and picking over grapefruit and was actually rewarded for being forced to linger by remembering to buy green grapes, which weren’t on the list.

      “Who was that?” he asked when Audra rejoined him.

      “Who?” She was peering into the shopping cart.

      “That woman you just said hello to.”

      “Oh, she has a girl in Matthew’s class,” Audra said, selecting an apple. “And a five-year-old and a toddler and that baby, if you can believe it. But no more, because when the baby was only a week old, she had her husband get a vasectomy. Just made the arrangements and woke him that morning and said, ‘Guess what? You’ve got a doctor’s appointment.’ And he went!”

      She took