Poe Ballantine

Decline of the Lawrence Welk Empire


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      Table of Contents

       Praise

       Dedication

       ALSO BY POE BALLANTINE:

       Title Page

       Chapter 1.

       Chapter 2.

       Chapter 3.

       Chapter 4.

       Chapter 5.

       Chapter 6.

       Chapter 7.

       Chapter 8.

       Chapter 9.

       Chapter 10.

       Chapter 11.

       Chapter 12.

       Chapter 13.

       Chapter 14.

       Chapter 15.

       Chapter 16.

       Chapter 17.

       Chapter 18.

       Chapter 19.

       Chapter 20.

       Chapter 21.

       Chapter 22.

       Chapter 23.

       Chapter 25.

       Chapter 26.

       Chapter 27.

       Chapter 28.

       Chapter 29.

       Chapter 30.

       Chapter 31.

       Chapter 32.

       Chapter 33.

       Chapter 34.

       Chapter 35.

       Chapter 36.

       Chapter 37.

       Chapter 38.

       Chapter 39.

       Chapter 40.

       Chapter 41.

       Chapter 42.

       Chapter 43.

       Chapter 45.

       Chapter 46.

       Chapter 47.

       Chapter 48.

       Chapter 49.

       Chapter 50.

       Chapter 51.

       Chapter 52.

       Chapter 54.

       Chapter 55.

       Chapter 56.

       Chapter 57.

       Chapter 58.

       Chapter 59.

       Chapter 60.

       Copyright Page

      Characters from Mr. Ballantine’s God Clobbers Us All weigh in on his dashing new novel, Decline of the Lawrence Welk Empire:

      I’M DRUNK AS I WRITE THIS and I wish I would’ve never left San Diego. San Diego is PARADISE. Billings, Montana is a PIMPLE ON MYBUTT. Edgar, Edgar, I loved you, why did you run away to a desert island? And why didn’t you take me with you? I would’ve fought by your side. I would’ve drank with you all night and waited tables