At least that was how it had started out. Then the reality of being a single mom and supporting herself had kicked in, and she’d been bound and determined to prove her parents wrong. She could do it all. She would do it all. Trevor had practically been forgotten by then. Now all these years later, she’d have to face her decision and somehow justify it.
Here she was accepting an apology from a man who’d taken her virginity but didn’t have any idea he was a father. That huge, and quite possibly unforgivable, reality twisted and tied into a knot the entire size of her stomach, making it hard to breathe.
“So you have my word that I’ll only behave respectfully and professionally toward you from here on out.” Could the guy sound any stiffer? Could she feel any worse?
Remember to breathe. “I appreciate that.” She figured she’d better ensure one thing before moving forward with what she suddenly needed—had no choice, in her mind—to do. “And I definitely have the job, right? And not just because of that?”
He gave a relieved smile. “I expect you to be here at eight tomorrow morning. Our first patient is scheduled for eight-thirty.”
She nodded, the rapid beating of her heart pounding up her neck and into her ears. She couldn’t keep the lie going, not if she’d have to face this man every day at work. It would eat away at her conscience. Might even interfere with her job performance. She couldn’t allow that to happen. For a millisecond she wished she’d never come back home, but James needed a chance at a better life. And she was hell-bent on giving it to him.
When she realized she’d been staring at her folded hands far too long, her gaze flitted upward to find Trevor’s perplexed expression. Oh, yeah, he was onto the fact something else was brewing.
She owed him the truth. Hadn’t he just taken a huge risk, bringing up their past, setting the record straight that he’d regretted their one time together?
Didn’t he deserve to know there were consequences? How on earth would he react?
Her pulse switched to a fluttery rhythm, vibrating all over her chest. This was the moment of truth, and she couldn’t let it pass.
“Trevor. Uh, about that night.” She looked straight ahead, unable to engage his eyes for now. Could he sense the dread in her voice?
James is the most wonderful gift in your life. There’s no room for shame over your son. Just tell him already!
“I mentioned I have a son, James. He’s twelve. Twelve years, nine months, to be exact.” Would he do the math instantaneously? She twisted an imaginary ring on her left hand, knowing she had to look Trevor in the eyes when she told him. Dreading it.
With every last nerve she could gather, she forced her gaze to his, praying he’d understand and not accuse her of lying. If he did, she’d have to quit the job before she ever started. “Well, since we’re laying everything out on the table today, I want you to know that …” She had to swallow first, because her throat seemed to have closed down.
His stare drilled into hers and her chest felt as if it would implode. She took a sip of air and just blurted it out.
“You’re the father.”
TREVOR’S BREATH WHOOSHED out of him as if he’d just been kicked in the solar plexus. Well, metaphorically, hadn’t he been? Julie Sterling—a one-night stand from the last night of a particularly great summer vacation—had just gifted him with the news. He was a father of a twelve-year-old boy and had never known it.
“What are you telling me?” He blinked, fighting off disbelief and a surge of anger.
Julie sat there, chin high, staring at him, looking far too young to be thirty-one.
In fact, right now she looked more like that pretty little gal with the wild curly brown hair and huge hazel eyes he’d played fast and reckless with that one night, all those years ago. She still had freckles across the bridge of her nose, and the thickest eyelashes he’d ever seen, and two minutes ago he’d been thinking how great it might be to get to know her again, how beautiful she’d become, how she still set off a reaction he’d forgotten about these past few years. Then she’d lowered the boom and hit him with the craziest news of his life. He had a son?
“I’m telling you the truth. I owe it to you,” she said. “I got pregnant that night.”
He needed to stand. Needed to inhale. Needed to pound his fist into the wall. Was she a whack job, setting him up? His legs seemed undependable at the moment, so he leaned against his desk and dug his hands into his jeans pockets, because he didn’t know what else to do with them. He finally remembered to close his mouth. “You’re sure that I’m the one who got you pregnant?”
Yeah, he was being ridiculously slow on the uptake, on purpose, and maybe a little insulting, too, might even qualify as a jerk, but he’d proved that long ago when he’d never called her after they’d been together. He needed time to process this flabbergasting and life-altering information.
He was a father? What if he didn’t want to be? Damn it, why hadn’t she given him a choice in the matter?
She nodded, unwavering in her speculative stare, her hands knotted in her lap. “As you mentioned earlier, I was a virgin. I didn’t run off and start sleeping around after that either. The OB doc tracked the pregnancy to nearly that exact day.”
Trevor’s hand flew to the top of his head, needing to check for a nonexistent cowboy hat. All these years he’d been a father? “Look, I’m sorry for how that may have come off. I’m just really thrown right now.” Getting kicked off a bucking bull couldn’t have felt worse.
“Understandably.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
She slowly shook her head. “I didn’t want to ruin your first year in med school. Didn’t want you to feel obligated to me.” She glanced at the floor. “Didn’t want you to tell me to—”
“Look, I honestly don’t know what I would have done then. It would’ve been nice to have some say in the matter, but I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have told you to get rid of it. Er … him.” He grimaced. “James, is it?” His head spun with the knowledge of his son. A kid he’d never had an ounce of input in walked the earth not knowing he had a father. Did James know that he was his father?
“James Monty Sterling.”
“Monty? You know that’s my dad’s nickname, right?”
Still staring at the floor, she nodded.
So that was the one connection she’d kept to his family, and it was only a nickname. He ground his teeth to keep from spitting out the words flying through his head. Anger circled around like a hawk zeroing in on its prey. That urge to bash something with his fist returned, so he shoved his hands deeper into his pockets. “That wasn’t right of you.”
Her startled look hit him square in the jaw. “It might not have been right, but it’s what I did. I can’t apologize for it, but if you don’t want to hire me, I get it.”
Could he face her every day, forced to wonder how different the boy’s life would have been if he’d been in it? Would the kid have needed to go to military school if he’d had a father in his life? Why had she held out on him, and could he forgive her? Right now, he wasn’t sure what any of the answers were, but he knew he couldn’t fire her. To spite her, he’d only harm the kid. Instinct told him that wasn’t right.
She’d come back to her hometown to deal with her parents’ estate, and to put her, uh, their son in military school. All these years, she’d never hit him up for money or support on any level, even knowing his family was well off. There had to be something noble in that, except it was a boneheaded thing to do in the first place. She said she hadn’t