The girl smiled at Jackson, hazel eyes glittery and full of light. “She’s a beautiful horse.”
“I thought so.” Jackson walked up next to the girl. “After she settles down I’ll let you ride her.”
“I’ve never ridden a horse.” Jade’s voice came out breathless and wistful.
“I guess that’s something we’ll take care of.” Jackson turned to smile at Madeline and she felt a little wistful, too. “What about you, Ms. Patton?”
“I’ve ridden a few times with Andie Johnson.”
Jade stepped back from the horse who had her head down, munching hay. “Why don’t you have a Christmas tree?”
Jackson blinked at the rapid change of topics. Madeline nearly laughed because he clearly needed to adjust to how a teenage girl’s brain worked. He didn’t understand that a girl like Jade could have a dozen or more things going on in her mind at once.
“I guess ’cause I don’t need one.”
Jade’s mouth opened at that revelation. “You have to have a Christmas tree. How can you have Christmas without a tree?”
Jackson shrugged. “Because I go to my parents’ house and they have a tree.”
Madeline didn’t want to jump in but Jade turned, clearly intending to pull her in.
“Do you have a tree?” Jade asked, her attention now on Madeline.
“I have a little one.” Pitiful, really. She had a pink tree with silver ornaments. It had seemed like a good idea at the time because it came pre-decorated.
Now a pink Christmas tree just seemed wrong.
“Christmas isn’t about a tree.” Jackson stepped in, almost defensive.
Jade blew out, obviously disgusted. “I think I know that. The tree isn’t what Christmas is all about, but it kind of makes me think more about the holiday.”
“We’ll get a tree.” Jackson herded them toward the door of the barn. “Tomorrow.”
Madeline thought about tomorrow, the day she planned on baking bread, decorating her house and then working on finishing touches at the Dawson Community Center’s living nativity. She also needed to run to town and buy ingredients for candy.
“We can drive my truck out to the back pasture and find a decent cedar. And if Madeline needs a tree, we can cut her one, too.”
“I really don’t.” Madeline stiffened when his hand went to her back, lingered and then moved away. When she glanced at him his hands were in his pockets and his smile had disappeared.
“Of course you do.” He looked down at her. “We’ll cut down trees and then we’ll come back here for hot chocolate and cookies.”
Jade’s face lit up. “Perfect.”
Madeline wanted to disagree. Perfect would be how she’d describe her life before this morning, before being invaded by the two Coopers standing next to her. Perfect would be her little pink tree being left alone and her heart not hammering out the tune “Meet Me Under the Mistletoe.”
She didn’t want those thoughts, those dangerous-to-her-heart thoughts. She didn’t want to be afraid. Of what, she asked herself. Afraid of rejection? Afraid he’d hurt her? Or worse.
Always worse.
God’s strength. She reminded herself that she could do this, she could face her fears. She could be the strong person she sometimes knew existed inside her.
Tomorrow should be good enough to start on being strong. Today she had to deal with her emotions tumbling inside her, mocking her because she’d thought she had them locked up tight.
Jade and Jackson were still talking and laughing, discussing the plan for tomorrow. She wanted to explain that she already had plans. Instead she chose escape.
“I should go. I need to get some stuff done at my house before our big adventure tomorrow.”
Jade walked away from the horse but her gaze lingered on the animal, and then turned to Jackson. Of course she wanted to stay with him. Madeline understood that. But Jade, like so many kids that Madeline knew who were used to disappointment, brushed it off. She raised her chin a notch, shrugged, and let it go.
Still, it had to hurt. Even if she knew how to pretend none of this bothered her, on the inside, where it counted, Madeline knew Jade had to be afraid.
Worse, she seemed to be counting on Madeline for strength and for guidance.
“What are you going to do for the rest of the day?” Jackson leaned against a stall door and she figured it had to be holding him up.
“Is there something you need?”
He grinned and winked. “A back rub would be good. Are you offering?”
“Do you ever stop?”
His smile faded. “Yeah, I do. I’m sorry for saying that. You might have to give me a few days to get the old Jackson under control.”
“Right, of course.”
“Do you think you’ll be going to town today?” Jackson reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet.
“I had planned on picking up Christmas decorations in Grove. Why?”
“Because I thought I’d give you money for groceries since you’ve got another mouth to feed. And she might need some clothes and a warmer coat.”
“I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me.” Jade moved to stand next to Madeline, her shoulders squared and stiff. “I’m good at taking care of myself.”
“I’m sure you are, Jade, but that isn’t necessary. You came looking for a family and this is what family does.” Jackson handed Madeline several bills and she folded the money and put it in her pocket.
“I can take her.” Madeline smiled at the girl standing next to her. “We can have fun shopping.”
Jade shrugged slim shoulders. “Okay, sure. So I’m leaving and I won’t see you until tomorrow?”
After a long pause, Jackson eased closer, taking stiff steps that Madeline hadn’t noticed earlier. She wondered if he was even supposed to be up, let alone doing chores.
“Jade, I want to spend time with you. We’re going to figure this whole mess out and I’m going to do my best to help you…”
“I don’t need help. I need a dad.”
His features softened. “I know, and I’m going to do my best to help you with that. But honestly, kid, I need to crash. I think my ribs are about to snap in two and my back kind of feels like a truck is sitting on it. Now that isn’t the toughest ‘dad’ kind of thing to admit. Especially in front of two women.” He smiled a tight smile. “But that’s the way it is.”
“Fine.” Jade stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek.
And something about him changed. Madeline watched his eyes and face shift and suddenly, Jackson Cooper became a dad. Or at least what she always imagined a dad would be if she’d had a real one.
“We should go.” Madeline reached for Jade. “What time tomorrow? And are you sure you don’t want me to bring something over for dinner tonight?”
“I think by nine in the morning.” Jackson winked at Jade before turning to smile at Madeline. “And don’t worry about me. I’m going to crash, and food is the last thing I want.”
They walked back to the house together, slowly. Jackson watched them get in the car and then he eased his way up the steps of the front porch and into the house. Madeline waited until he stepped through the door before she shifted into Reverse.