Chessie King

Be Your Own Best Friend


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Title Page

       COPYRIGHT

      HarperCollinsPublishers

      1 London Bridge Street

      London SE1 9GF

       www.harpercollins.co.uk

      First published by HarperCollinsPublishers 2020

      FIRST EDITION

      Text © Chessie King 2020

      Cover layout design © HarperCollinsPublishers 2020

      Photography © Ruth Rose 2020

      With the following exceptions: here, here, here, here, here, here and here courtesy of the author

      Illustrations © Saskia Robertson (Sassrobcreative.com) 2020

      With the following exceptions: here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here © Shutterstock.com

      A catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library

      Chessie King asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

      All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

      Find out about HarperCollins and the environment at www.harpercollins.co.uk/green

      Source ISBN: 9780008377397

      Ebook Edition © May 2020 ISBN: 9780008377403

      Version 2020-05-13

       DEDICATION

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      This is for my Scrumma-mumma-doo-dah

      This is for my Brontë Bee

      This is for my best friends

      This is for YOU, yes, you

      CONTENTS

       Cover

       Title Page

       Copyright

       Dedication

       INTRODUCTION

       1. INSIDE US

       2. OUR BODIES

       3. OUR SOLAR SUPPORT SYSTEM

       4. OUR OUTER ORBIT

       THANK YOUS

       About the Publisher

       Introduction

       GIRLS. WOMEN. LADIES. ANGELS. GODDESSES. SISTERS. NON-BINARY READERS. (And to the guys who have bought this book, I see you … I know you want to see what it’s all about.)

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      This book is all about the glorious, delightfully complex truths of Femalehood and becoming your own best friend. We’re going to discover your true worth, big up your self-appreciation, find your inner cheerleader and celebrate you – zooming in, zooming out, while shaking it all about.

      I believe there are four layers that make up you, me and the book you’re holding.

       Our insides: hormones, emotions, feelings and our juicy bits.

       Our bods: boobies, body hair, periods, contraception, sex and all the things we didn’t get taught at school.

       Our solar support system: your community – the spine to your life – your family, the people you work with and your friends, your tribe, because there ain’t no hood like sisterhood.

       Our outer orbit: social media bollocks, people’s views on what women ‘should be’ and connecting with strangers.

      Every single one of us is navigating our way through life and sometimes, in this huge, gigantic world, you can feel like you’re doing it on. your. own. It’s a jungle out there, but I hope, while you read through, you’ll be nodding your head like ‘Yes, uh-huh, this is totally me – oh holy mother of Dorothy, I thought I was the only one. Phew. WOW. Okay, so if Chessie’s been through this too, I’ve totally got it.’

      I invite you to take a comfy seat in my brain, my world. I’ve poured love, honesty and memories into this baby. I’ve cried into my laptop, laughed at the stories I’ve unearthed in my history bank, and braved sharing unspoken pieces of my past. And heavens to Betsy, I have absolutely adored this whole never-written-a-book-before-what-am-I-doing thang!

      My scrumma-mumma-doo-dah fired me out into the world on 23 June 1993, so I know I’ve not yet experienced all the bonkers things life can throw at us women. But I want to be dancing around in my underwear until I’m 100 – so I’m not even a third of my way through the game. I’m absolutely no expert, nor am I trying to ‘fix’ you. But I believe I don’t need a PhD or a degree to want to help you or to share my life, my stories and my advice with you. I can promise you, this book is so much more than me telling you to sleep more, eat your veg and step up your step game … We’re going to take back the power, we’re going to turn surviving into thriving, we’re going to become the CEOs of our busy brains.

      We’re all unique, we’re all multi-dimensional, we’re all phenomenal – however, the majority of us just don’t believe in ourselves. Whether you feel like you’ve lost confidence, never found it or you’re going through a shift, I’m here with you. In Blue Peter-style, here’s one I made earlier: I’ve tried and tested the infinite list; exploring, discovering and unpeeling the layers of myself over the years. So, I thought it was about time I got it all down on paper … 240 pages’ worth of paper.

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      I like to think of us all as scrummy, spongy cakes. We all started out the same, cooking in the womb. Then over the years, we’ve added in different ingredients, soaked up different experiences, to make us all even more delicious and unique … But we’ve been decorated with heavy toppings like self-doubt, comparison, heartache, trauma, grief … they’re all baked into our lives and they could be weighing us down.

      When you’re ready, we’ll work through your recipe and eat cake together. We’ll strengthen