filled the space, but she didn’t move. He was hanging on by a thread here. As if he weren’t physically attracted enough, now she went and threw vulnerability into the mix. He couldn’t handle knowing she was hurting, but he only knew one way to console her. Having sex with her would be a temporary moment of happiness and once they were done, she’d hate him and he couldn’t live with that.
Having Jenna hurt at his hands wasn’t an option. This could never be just a fling for her and he should’ve accepted that from the beginning. Or, maybe in the back of his mind he had realized it, but didn’t want to face the truth staring him in the face.
“Thank you for coming back,” she murmured. “I thought you’d leave the island.”
“I promised I’d be here for you, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, but things are more intense than either of us intended.”
Understatement of the year. And he was seriously rethinking his entire strategy.
“I’m sorry I hurt you earlier,” she went on. “I’m not good at lying to people I love.”
“A few more days and this will all be over.”
“Will it?” she asked. “Because I’m not sure I can forget how you kissed me, how you’ve held me, touched me.”
Shutting his eyes, he gritted his teeth and attempted to dig deep for willpower. If she’d told him this before her confession about her father, he would have been all over her. But now he knew why she was so leery and he knew he had to take a step back...even if it killed him.
“Can you forget?” she whispered.
“Leave it, Jenna. Go to bed.”
“Where will you be?”
“Right here.”
The second he heard her cross the deck, he froze. He opened his eyes to see her standing next to him, her gaze on his.
“You don’t have to stay out here,” she told him, her voice huskier than seconds ago. “Maybe I’m ready to give in. Maybe I’m ready to stop being so damn good all the time and holding out for the perfect man in my life.”
“It’s the wine,” he told her. “In the morning you’ll feel different.”
He pulled his hands from behind his head and laid them on his abdomen. Those hands had done some ugly things, too many to even count, and he didn’t deserve to have them on her body. He didn’t deserve what she willingly offered.
“What if I don’t feel different, Mac?” she asked. Those eyes of hers remained locked on to his and it was all he could do not to jerk her down on top of him and finish what she’d started.
“Go to bed, Jenna. Alone.”
“Mac—”
“Damn it,” he yelled, hating when she jumped. “You have no idea what you’re saying. I don’t do relationships, I do sex. That’s it. I don’t want more and I won’t give more. We’re friends. I shouldn’t have taken it so far when we were alone, but you do things to me. I lost my head for a bit. I promise it won’t happen again.”
She bit down on her lip, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “You’re a liar. You want me as much as I want you.”
She was right. He was a liar. Millions of dollars rolled in from his ability to lie and cheat. He’d ordered killings and may again sooner rather than later. He didn’t deserve this beautiful, sweet woman before him.
Mac eased up slightly on the swaying hammock and stared her straight in the eyes. “I can’t want you. Not like that. Not anymore.”
He heard her breath hitch, saw the shimmer in her eyes and he cursed himself. He’d never forgive himself if they were intimate and she fell for him. They’d go their separate ways in Miami and she’d be hurt. She couldn’t be part of his life, not the ugly world he was born into. She’d be ruined and he hated like hell that Martin had been right.
With a tilt of her chin as she blinked back tears, Jenna took only a second to compose herself. “I never thought you’d turn into a coward.”
“Coward?”
She leaned down, gripped the ropes on either side of him, sending the hammock swaying slightly. “You’re afraid of wanting me for more than sex. You know it, and you’re terrified because I know it.”
Damn it, this was going too far. “Jenna—”
“Unless you’re about to tell me I’m right, then save it.” Her eyes narrowed as she licked her lips. Those lips he’d tasted, those same lips he craved when they weren’t on his. “I’m going to bed alone. I don’t care what you do anymore. If you can’t be honest with me, then we have nothing more to say.”
With a quick jerk he didn’t see coming, she flipped the hammock and sent him plummeting face-first onto the deck. Mac turned his head just in time to see her bare feet disappear into the bungalow. The bedroom door slammed seconds later.
Mac couldn’t help but laugh as he lay there on the hard floor. One glass of wine and his Jenna was aroused, angry and feisty.
Damn if that didn’t make him want her more than ever.
Jenna woke with a start when her pillow was jerked from beneath her head. Disoriented, she blinked against the bright sunlight streaming through her open blinds. Blinds she’d closed before bed.
Jenna turned her head to see Mac standing beside her bed, holding her beloved pillow.
“Whatever you’re smirking about, go away and give me back my pillow.”
His rich laughter flooded the room. “Get up, sunshine. Today we’re getting back to Mac and Jenna. No wedding talk, no pretend relationship, just us.”
Figuring she had no choice, and since she was already awake, Jenna sat up in her bed and rubbed her eyes. “What do you mean, back to us?”
He tossed her pillow behind her and took a seat on the edge of the bed, caging her legs in on either side with his hands. “I mean things have been too intense lately. We need a break from this charade and I just want to be us again.”
She couldn’t agree more. One of them was going to break if they didn’t step away from the emotional chaos that had been controlling them. But how could they just be themselves? They were on this island with a slew of wedding people, her mother and sister and Martin.
“What did you have in mind?” she asked.
“Just get dressed and meet me out front in five minutes.”
Jenna laughed as Mac jumped off the bed and headed toward the door. “I’ll need more than five minutes to throw clothes on and brush my teeth.”
He gripped the edge of the door and threw her a look over his shoulder. “Fine. Seven minutes. No more.”
Rolling her eyes, Jenna grabbed her pillow and tossed it across the room. Mac closed the door just in time.
Throwing her covers off, Jenna was out of bed in seconds flat. She got ready quicker than she would’ve liked, but with her hair up in a knot on her head, a simple tank sundress and clean teeth, this was as good as it was going to get. Who knew what Mac had planned? He was always acting on a whim, living from moment to moment.
Jenna was relieved he didn’t bring up her blatant advances from last night. Perhaps whatever outing he had planned was a way to get them to move beyond this awkward, warped version of a fake engagement. She was too confused over what was going on, between what was real and what was completely fabricated, to keep up the pretense.
The bedroom door flew open just as she slid into her silver-sequined flip-flops.