The Power of Nice. Barshefsky Charlene

p>Ronald M. Shapiro

      The Power of Nice

      Praise for The Power of Nice, Revised and Updated

      “Shapiro eschews the academic ‘win–win’ style for the more practical ‘WIN–win’ approach which enables proficient negotiators to achieve beneficial results for themselves while simultaneously satisfying the basic interests of the persons on the other side. This is especially critical when on-going relationships are involved.”

– Charles B. Craver, Author of The Art of Negotiation in the Business World, Freda H. Alverson Professor of Law, George Washington Law School

      “The Power of Nice offers essential tools that empower every negotiator. Shapiro's systematic approach to negotiations is easy-to-follow with classic and updated case studies throughout the book.”

– Melanie Allison, DNP, RN, ACNP-BC, Vanderbilt University School of Nursing Faculty

      “In The Power of Nice, the elusive elements of the ‘art of negotiation’ are broken down and explained to all in a concise, practical, and lively manner. Ron's sharing his career of negotiating makes us all better.”

– Randy Levine President, New York Yankees Of Counsel, Jackson Lewis P.C.

      “This book, and the principles espoused within it, have helped me in innumerable ‘difficult’ conversations and discussions with faculty. The book has guided me towards being able to say either ‘yes’ or ‘no’ in a way that strengthens the professional relationship, underscores the person's value to the organization, and serves as a foundation for their career growth. Ron convincingly demonstrates how the essential elements of preparation, engagement, and personalization…and truly listening…are to getting to a mutual ‘win.’ His concepts move the negotiation from a one-time battle for supremacy, to a long-term conversation and a platform for collaboration and success.”

– Justin C. McArthur, MBBS, MPH, FAAN, Director, Department of Neurology, Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine; Neurologist-in-chief, the Johns Hopkins Hospital; Chair, School of Medicine Professorial Promotions Committee

      “I have religiously used Ron's systematic approach for over two decades, and after reading this revised edition, I am not surprised to discover that even I can take my negotiation skills to a higher level.”

– Steve Mosko, President, Sony Pictures Television

      “Ron goes beyond the practicalities of negotiating and shows how his philosophy of building strong relationships and paying attention to detail has an enormous impact on being successful – and not just in business.”

– Irina Pavlova, President, Onexim Sports and Entertainment Holding USA, Inc.

      “The new tools and stories in this updated edition of The Power of Nice demonstrate that Ron perfects his craft by practicing what he preaches. Anyone seeking to become a better negotiator should read this book!”

– Eduardo DeJesus Rodriguez, MD, DDS, Helen L. Kimmel Professor of Reconstructive Plastic Surgery, Department of Plastic Surgery (Chair), NYU Langone Medical CenterThe Power of NiceHow to Negotiate So Everyone Wins – Especially You!REVISED AND UPDATEDRonald M. Shapiro with JAMES DALE

      Cover design: Wiley

      Copyright © 2015 by Shapiro Negotiations Institute. All rights reserved.

      Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.

      Published simultaneously in Canada.

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      ISBN 978-1-118-96962-5 (cloth);

      ISBN 978-1-118-96963-2 (ebk);

      ISBN 978-1-118-96966-3 (ebk)

      To four generations of family:

      My father, who was the exemplar in my life for the power of nice, and my mother, for always being there to support my endeavors with her love;

      My darling wife, Cathi, for her guidance, wisdom, and love;

      And my children and grandchildren, who never let a day pass without reminding me of the importance of living with the Power of Nice.

      Foreword to the Revised Edition

      You Can Be Nice, and Purposeful

By Ambassador Charlene Barshefsky

      When I was Bill Clinton's chief trade negotiator, the United States Trade Representative, we negotiated over 300 market-opening trade and investment agreements across the globe. And as a private practitioner, I've negotiated countless agreements for both U.S. and foreign clients. Over the years, Ron Shapiro and I would always compare notes. His were more valuable.

      I have been a Shapiro disciple for a very long time. The Power of Nice reminds us that negotiations are as much psychology and human interaction as substance and deal points. Understanding the other side's needs, concerns, and limitations, watching carefully, listening actively, and being agile enough to act as problem solver for both sides, is easily as critical as preparing your own substantive position and game plan. The goal is to bring home a great deal – a durable deal – for your clients or your business, not no deal because you couldn't get along with the other side. And it is not making a deal that looks good on paper but will never be implemented because you played “gotcha” once too often. Parents are often fond of reminding their kids that “what goes around comes around.” Good advice. “Purposeful” and “nice” can and ought to coexist. Ron's very success is a testament to that.

      The lessons contained in The Power of Nice, whether big or small, are invaluable. Take, for example, one of Ron's tactical tips on the pitfalls of restating your position. One of my earliest negotiations with the Japanese concerned telecommunications infrastructure. I explained the U.S. position, my Japanese counterparts listened intently, and were…silent. Thinking that they did not fully understand our concerns, I slowly repeated what I had said. They listened carefully, more time went by…and again, silence. I was just about