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Certain details in this book, including names, places and dates, have been changed to protect the family’s privacy. HarperElement An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF First published by HarperElement 2018 FIRST EDITION © Julie Shaw and Lynne Barrett-Lee 2018 Cover layout design © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2018 Cover photographs © plainpicture/Valery Skurydin (young woman); © Romany WG/Trevillion Images (figure) A catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library Julie Shaw and Lynne Barrett-Lee assert the moral right to be identified as the authors of this work All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books. Find out about HarperCollins and the environment at Source ISBN: 9780008228484 Ebook Edition © May 2018 ISBN: 9780008228491 Version: 2018-04-05 This book is simply dedicated to our Alan Taylor. Rest in peace, Alan – you fought with every last breath to stay as long as you could with my lovely little cousin, Sue, AKA our Nipper, and your girls, Penny, Lou and Lindsay. They all did you proud, Alan, and always will do. You were everything a man should be and you’ll be sadly missed. x ‘Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin my mother did conceive me.’ Psalm 51:5 Contents