sixth month of her pregnancy.
“Bringing Jason seemed like a good idea at the time,” Rich said with a chagrined look. “He spent half the morning arguing with me. According to Jason, we’re both candidates for the loony bin.”
“We weren’t going to tell anyone, remember?” They’d decided that the fewer people who were in on this, the better. But at the rate Rich was telling people, Jamie wouldn’t be surprised to see her picture splashed across the front of a grocery-store tabloid.
“Don’t worry,” Jason inserted smoothly, “I’ve been sworn to secrecy.”
“I’ll explain everything later,” Rich promised in a low voice. He draped his arm over her shoulder and inhaled noisily, as though he still needed to catch his breath. “But right now, we’ve got a wedding to attend.”
Jamie knew the ceremony itself wouldn’t last more than a few minutes; she’d taken comfort in that. They’d be in and out of the judge’s chambers in five minutes, ten at the most.
They stood before Judge Webster, their backs stiff and straight. The judge attempted to reassure them with a smile.
Jamie needed to be reassured. Her knees were shaking, her hands trembled and she wasn’t sure she’d be able to go through with this.
When it came time to repeat her vows, she hesitated and raised her eyes to Rich. How could she promise to love him and honor him for the rest of their lives, knowing full well their marriage wouldn’t last the year?
Rich must have read her confusion and her fears. Some unfathomable emotion flickered in his eyes, and she wondered if he was experiencing the same doubts. When his hold on her hand tightened, Jamie was grateful. She felt the need to be close to him. She didn’t know why, any more than she understood the reason she’d agreed to go through with this wedding ceremony.
When she spoke, her voice shook, then steadied and grew strong. Her heart was pounding, then gradually returned to a normal, even beat. She realized that the calmness she felt, the serenity, had come from Rich. His eyes didn’t leave her, and his own voice was confident and sure.
They exchanged rings, his hand holding hers as he slipped the delicate diamond that had belonged to his grandmother onto Jamie’s finger. He revealed no hesitation. Once the ring was secure, her gaze slowly traveled up to his face. She stopped at his eyes, so blue and clear. They were just as steady as his hand.
The judge pronounced them husband and wife, and with a naturalness Jamie didn’t question, Rich drew her into his embrace. Her hands gripped his shoulders as he lowered his mouth to hers. To the best of Jamie’s memory, this was the first time they’d kissed, really kissed.
Rich made it worth the wait.
His mouth slid possessively over hers, coaxing open her lips. His own were warm and moist, gentle and teasing, giving and demanding.
Jamie was overwhelmed by the variety of sensations he evoked. She felt light-headed and giddy. Appreciated and adored. It seemed that her entire world had been inadvertently turned upside down and she was groping to find her balance.
She shouldn’t feel this way, she told herself. She shouldn’t be feeling any of these sensations. Rich didn’t love her—not like this. Nothing like this. One kiss, and he made her feel as though she’d never been kissed before, as though she’d never experienced love before.
Maybe she hadn’t. Maybe this was all in her imagination, her mind creating a warm romantic fantasy in order to appease her conscience. Maybe this was a subconscious effort to wipe out the ambivalence she’d felt during the ceremony.
The sound of Rich’s older brother clearing his throat brought Jamie back to reality. Rich—her husband—reluctantly let her go and just as reluctantly turned his attention to Judge Webster. The two men exchanged handshakes.
“Thank you so much for being my witness,” Jamie said to Judge Webster’s secretary. She never did catch the woman’s name.
“I was pleased to do it,” the secretary told her. She stepped forward and gave Jamie an impulsive hug. “The judge marries a number of couples every year, but I have a good feeling about you and your young man. I think you two are going to be just fine.”
Jamie didn’t know what to say. She felt like the biggest phony who’d ever lived. It was happening already—the very thing she’d tried to warn Rich about. The feeling of connection. She’d sensed it during the ceremony and even more so with his kiss. But their marriage wasn’t supposed to be about any kind of spiritual or emotional connection. It was supposed to be a convenience, a legal shortcut to giving Jamie what she wanted—a child.
They were making a mockery of everything marriage was meant to be. Jamie had never felt more like crying in her life.
She’d tried to convince herself they were doing the right thing. Rich was so confident, so certain, and she believed him because … because she’d always believed him.
But if they were doing what was right, why was her stomach in knots? Why did she feel as though she was going to burst into tears? And why, oh why, had Rich kissed her the way a husband kisses his wife—the most cherished wife in the world?
“Congratulations,” Jason said, moving toward her.
She tried to smile, but her mouth started quivering and tears fell from the corners of her eyes, running down the sides of her face.
“Jamie?” Jason asked, giving her a hug. “Are you okay?”
“No.”
Jamie didn’t know how Jason managed it, but within minutes they were out of Judge Webster’s chambers and Rich was at her side, his arm around her middle.
“All right,” he said gently, guiding her down the hall, “why the tears?”
Jamie rubbed her hand across her cheeks, suspecting she’d smeared mascara over her face in the process. She’d dressed so carefully in her new pale pink suit. Like a romantic fool, she’d had her hair styled and nails manicured—and for what? So she could stand before God and man and say vows they’d never be able to keep.
“You honestly want to know what’s wrong?” she wailed, snapping open her purse and rummaging around for a tissue. She found one, tucked her handbag under her arm and noisily blew her nose. “You mean you haven’t guessed?”
“No.”
“I … I feel dreadful.”
“Why?” Rich looked completely bewildered.
“Because I just lied.”
“Lied?”
“So did you!”
“Me?” He sounded even more confused.
“How can you justify what we did? We stood before Judge Webster and said vows. Vows! Vows are serious. We made promises to each other, promises neither one of us intends to keep.”
“I can’t speak for you, but I certainly intend to honor my vows.”
“Oh, right,” Jamie muttered sarcastically, rubbing her hand beneath her nose. “You’re going to love me in … in sickness and health and everything else you said.”
“Yes.” Rich didn’t so much as blink.
“How … can you?”
“True, this might not be a traditional marriage. Nevertheless, it is a marriage. And like I said, I fully intend to honor every promise I made for the full duration of the marriage.”
“You do?” she asked on the tail end of a sniffle.
“You mean you don’t?”
“I … I suppose so. It’s just that I hadn’t thought about it like that. I do love you, you know … as a friend.”
As Rich walked her toward the elevator, his