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Tantric Secrets
7 Steps to the Best Sex of Your Life
Cassandra Lorius
To Liz Dean, my marvellous editor
Table of Contents
STEP TWO Get connected: finding intimacy
STEP FOUR Sexual power: explore your desire
STEP FIVE Emotional wellbeing, sexual healing
Tantra is an ancient path of self-development that regards sexual energy as the primary manifestation of our life force. This life force is a powerful current of energy that flows through us all. When you are in harmony, this energy is ‘woven’ with the energy of other people and all the life forms around us. The term ‘Tantra’ implies that we can weave all the different threads of our existence into a more satisfying whole. Through Tantra, you can experience love and sex as a flowing together of energies. Techniques that were once secret – only available to the initiated – are revealed here to rekindle your lust for life and regain a vibrant sense of self. By being more loving and connected in the ways in which you relate to your partner, you can create more fulfilling sex and a deep, loving intimacy. Tantra guides you through the gateway of lovemaking to open to spiritual bliss.
The message is simple: celebrate your relationship with a spirit of wonder and playfulness. Tantra is easy to grasp once you experience it – simply stop thinking and start feeling. Focus on the present moment, as you’ll feel more vital when you wholeheartedly live in the ‘now’. Be sensually aware of your body, and express your sense of aliveness and passion through it. Reconnecting with your body in a positive way via your senses gives you a surge of wellbeing and energy. Sexual energy is a fundamental indicator of your level of vitality. When you’re feeling great, your body is vital and eroticized.
Tantra for your relationship: the seven steps to bliss
Tantra is a potent means of revitalizing your relationship. Cultivating Tantra means embracing a dynamic approach to sex, love and life in general that will fill you with bliss. The starting point of this process is to reaffirm the place of spirit in your life, and make space for a soul connection in your sexual relationship. A loving relationship encourages you to expand sexuality into a more integrated way of being. Tantric techniques teach you how to unlock your energy and use it to bring bliss into your lives.
The ethos of this book is opening your heart, filling your being with loving emanations and sweetening your relationship with love and compassion. Tantric Secrets reveals the seven chapters, or steps, that you can take to transform your relationship into one of bliss. Each Step explores issues appropriate to the unfolding of an integrated sexuality according to Tantric sources – including meditative exercises that you can use on your own path to fulfilment through sacred sex.
Tantric Secrets offers ideas for short practices to radically improve your experience of sex and open your heart to love and bliss. Cumulatively, they lead to a sensual bonk-fest, taking you into the realm of bliss. You can pick and choose according to what inspires you. However, I suggest that you do start by looking at Step 1, because the secret of maintaining a loving relationship is to love yourself. In these demanding times, many of us lead stressful lifestyles that hamper our free spirits, making it difficult to delight in our sensual natures.
To prepare to deepen your relationship, begin by destressing both mind and body. In Step 1 you nurture both body and soul. You learn to love yourself by taking care of your needs; when you nurture yourself, you have the resources to nurture others. Learn to treat your own body with respect, remembering that your body is a temple dedicated to life and love.
When you have activated the energy of body and soul in your own being, you are free to reach out toward your partner with an open heart.
In Step 2, you connect with your lover as an energy-body, relating to each other at the level of your inner core rather than your surface personalities.
In Step 3, you stimulate your sensuality through rituals that enliven all your senses. Ritual is about inviting the sacred into your life. It is this sense of sacredness that helps you to step beyond your normal limits, into a closer connection with your partner. If you associate activities like lighting candles and incense with an attitude of receptivity to the sacred dimension, each time you do this you enter into a Tantric frame of mind.
To awaken your sexual energy and access your passionate nature, Step 4 explores your desire, and includes physiological exercises that combine strengthening your love muscle with breathing and visualization exercises.
Step 5 involves sexual healing, and clearing difficult emotions that may be blocking the flow of energy in your relationship. Communication needs to underpin your sexual relationship in order for it to be close and loving.
You work on your technical abilities as a lover in Step 6, learning to pleasure yourself and your lover, exploring your orgasmic potential and lengthening and deepening your orgasms so that you can both have multiple orgasms. For women, discover how clitoral and g-spot stimulation is crucial to sexual satisfaction. For men, learning to defer gratification develops the potential for much greater orgasmic pleasure.
Step 7 makes sex sacred by incorporating the powerful Tantric techniques of breathing and visualization to move energy through your being during lovemaking. Together, you create a joint body of energy united in sexual bliss – an experience that opens you to the Tantric awareness that bliss is the nature of life itself.
What is Tantric meditation?
In Eastern traditions, meditation is seen as