Mike Phillips

A Shadow of Myself


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      MIKE PHILLIPS

       A SHADOW OF MYSELF

       Copyright

      HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF

       www.harpercollins.co.uk

      This edition 2001

      First published in Great Britain by Collins Crime 2000

      Copyright © Mike Phillips 2000

      Mike Phillips asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

      A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

      All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

      HarperCollinsPublishers has made every reasonable effort to ensure that any picture content and written content in this ebook has been included or removed in accordance with the contractual and technological constraints in operation at the time of publication.

      Source ISBN: 9780006511977

      Ebook Edition © FEBRUARY 2016 ISBN: 9780007400362 Version: 2016-01-04

       Dedication

       For Jenny, Kip and Kwesi

       In memory of Ronald Ivor Phillips

      With gratitude to the Arts Foundation for its support and to John Akomfrah, and David Upshal for the vital sparks,

      and with heartfelt thanks to Tereza Brdeckova, Trevor Carter, Grigory Chartishvili, Daria Chrin, Sacha Dugdale, William Elliott, Masha Gessen, Henri Jansova, Maria Kozlovskaya, Yelena Krishtof, Julia Latynina, Milada Novakova, Martina Moravcová, Kevin O’Flynn, Sergeant Stiina Rajala, as well as all the others who so generously contributed their memories and experiences … and last but not least, Radka, for lending me her name.

       Epigraph

      Then I told him to let me go away from their church and I do not want to marry again, because I could not bear to be baptised with fire and hot water any longer, but when all of them heard so, they shouted, ‘Since you have entered this church you are to be baptised with fire and hot water before you will get out of the church, willing or not you ought to wait and complete the baptism.’ But when I heard so from them again, I exclaimed with a terrible voice that, ‘I will die in their church.’ So all of them exclaimed again that, ‘You may die if you like, nobody knows you here.’

      AMOS TUTUOLA – My Life In The Bush Of Ghosts

      The whole people in the village saw us but as we were strange to them although they recognised us, they gathered together and were following us with wonder. They were also shouting on us as they were following us: ‘Why the moneys you bring from your journey are nearly to kill you? Why? Are these lumps of iron which you carry now the moneys you bring? Wonderful.’ It was like that the whole people of the village were making mockery of us.

      AMOS TUTUOLA – Ajaiyi And His Inherited Poverty

      … it is not that I would forbid the making of statues, shaped in marble or bronze, but that as the human face, so is its copy, futile and perishing, while the form of the mind is eternal, to be expressed, not through the alien medium of art and its material, but severally by each man in the fashion of his own life.

      TACITUS – from the Epilogue of Agricola

      Contents

       Cover

       Title Page

       Six

       Seven

       Eight

       London

       Nine

       Ten

       Eleven

       Twelve

       Thirteen

       Prague

       Fourteen

       London

       Fifteen

       Sixteen

       Berlin

       Seventeen