Matthew Hoggard

Hoggy: Welcome to My World


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       HOGGY

       Welcome to My World

       Dedication

      To Sarah and Ernie My strength and salvation

       What you’ll find inside …

       Title Page

       Chapter 6 - Touring and Toiling A series of reality checks with England, 2002-03

       Chapter 7 - Physical Jerks The pains and strains of keeping fit

       Chapter 8 - Getting Better All the Time The winning streak and the awesome foursome, 2004-05

       Chapter 9 - Mind Games The stuff that goes on in my head when I’m bowling

       Chapter 10 - Time to Produce The biggest series ever and other more important things, summer 2005

       Chapter 11 - Drinking for England We do like the occasional pint, you know

       Chapter 12 - Swinging the Balance Life goes on after the Ashes, 2005-06

       Chapter 13 - A Word from the Wife Sarah’s view from the girls’ gallery

       Chapter 14 - Nightwatchman’s Tales My life as England’s sacrificial lamb

       Chapter 15 - Squashed by the Big Fat Lad The Ashes comedown, 2006-07

       Chapter 16 - Press-ganged My fun and games with the British media

       Chapter 17 - It’s all Gone Haywire Some very high highs and very low lows, 2007-08

       Epilogue Hog

       What next?

       Index

       Acknowledgements

       Hoggy Stats

       Copyright

       About the Publisher

      ‘He’s just a bit silly. He rings you up and leaves daft messages and silly noises on your phone. It’s just madness. He’s a good lad though.’

       Ashley Giles

      ‘He gives you it straight. If he thinks you’re a pillock, he’ll tell you. He won’t ask for anything that he wouldn’t do himself, that’s the way he is. Hoggy is Hoggy.’

       David Byas, former Yorkshire captain

       Fore Paw-word

       By the HOGGY DOGGIES, BILLY the Doberman and MOLLY the Border Collie

      BILLY: So what’s all this about, then?

      MOLLY: Apparently, this is the bit of a book where important people or animals are asked to say nice things about the bloke on the front cover.

      BILLY: About him? Why I should say nice things about him? All he ever does is shout at me.

      MOLLY: That’s because you play too rough half the time, Billy, and you don’t do as you’re told.

      BILLY: Whenever I try to play with you, you don’t give me the time of day. You can be a cantankerous old bitch sometimes.

      MOLLY: You forget that I’m an old lady. If I was five years younger, I’d still be able to run rings round you.

      BILLY: Like to see you try. Anyway, I still don’t see why I should be so nice about the bloke. What does he ever do for us?

      MOLLY: He takes us for lots of long walks.

      BILLY: I’ll give him that.

      MOLLY: Even when it’s raining. And he feeds us most of the time.

      BILLY: Well, yes, you’ve got a point. Sometimes I want to bite him, but I’m worried that the walks and the food might stop if I do. Shall we gang up on him and both bite him?

      MOLLY: He’s in charge, Billy boy, whether we like it or not.

      BILLY: But if he’s so tough and reckons he’s top dog, why does he always send me outside first if he hears a noise in the garden? I can never understand that.