Your Daughter. Girls’ Association Schools

      • what levels of supervision will be in place throughout a party If alcohol is to be allowed at a party, limit access to wines and beers only (e.g. no spirits). Although alcopops, which are particularly popular with girls, blur the spirit/non-spirit divide, at least they are a ‘measured’ drink. A strong, active adult presence at all teenage parties is essential. ‘Policing’ duties range from excluding gate-crashers to being alert to ‘smuggled in’ illicit additional supplies of alcohol. A minimum of three adults at a ratio of one adult to ten teenagers should provide a good level of supervision and sufficient cover if anything goes wrong.

      Alcohol is a normal part of adult society, and it is important that young people learn to drink responsibly. This skill is best taught in the home, with parents perhaps offering a glass of wine with a meal or when at a family gathering. Supervision is the key. The greatest dangers come when teenagers are given an opportunity to have access to alcohol – especially spirits – away from the home or behind closed doors.

      Most importantly, parents should not underestimate the part that we play as role models to our children. Young people will pay more attention to what we do than to what we say.

      Alcohol — how to spot if your child is drinking too much, the signs and how to tackle them

      We should be under no illusions – alcohol can be extremely dangerous for children and teenagers, and you are right to be concerned if you think that your child is drinking. While a single glass of wine for a 16-year-old at a family dinner can help your children to understand the boundaries of social drinking, illicit binge drinking, especially of spirits, is damaging to a child’s health, can be life-threatening and can lead to extremely risky behaviour. Figures vary, but it is estimated that up to 80 per cent of early sexual experiences occur under the influence of alcohol, and the vast majority of these experiences are subsequently regretted.

      So what can you do to protect your daughter? The first thing, of course, is to know if she is drinking and to do this you need to be very aware of where she is at all times. If she is out with friends, then always make sure that you see her on her return and engage her in conversation. If she smells of alcohol, or strongly of mints or of perfume, then you are right to be suspicious. Keep her talking and you will be able to see if there is any difference in her behaviour – is she chattier or more volatile than usual? If you are worried that you don’t know whether your child is drinking too much, then remember this: the safest approach is that any unsupervised alcohol is too much.

      Don’t be naive about parties, even those supervised by other parents. Children – teenagers especially, and even the most law-abiding and delightful ones – need to try to break the rules and are extraordinarily ingenious when it comes to doing so. Drink can easily be smuggled into houses, and innocent-looking water bottles can easily contain vodka. Parties with sleepovers usually mean that parents go to bed before their charges, and it is then that the hidden stash of wine or spirits can appear. Share your concerns with the people supervising the party, talk to your daughter to set out your expectations and follow this up. If you are in any doubt about the party, put your foot down – hard though this will be – and weather the storm (but replace it with something else amazing to do instead with you and your family).