Lottie Lucas

Ten Things My Cat Hates About You


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      Ten Things My Cat Hates About You

      LOTTIE LUCAS

      One More Chapter

      a division of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd

      1 London Bridge Street

      London SE1 9GF

       www.harpercollins.co.uk

      First published in Great Britain by HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2019

      Copyright © Lottie Lucas 2019

      Cover images © Shutterstock.com

      Cover design © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2019

      Lottie Lucas asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

      A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.

      This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

      All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.

      Source ISBN: 9780008353636

      Ebook Edition © November 2019 ISBN: 9780008353629

      Version: 2019-08-16

      Table of Contents

       Cover

       Title Page

       Copyright

       Dedication

      Chapter 1

      Chapter 2

      Chapter 3

      Chapter 4

      Chapter 5

      Chapter 6

       Chapter 9

       Chapter 10

       Chapter 11

       Chapter 12

       Chapter 13

       Chapter 14

       Chapter 15

       Chapter 16

       Chapter 17

       Chapter 18

       Chapter 19

       Chapter 20

       Chapter 21

       Chapter 22

       Chapter 23

       Chapter 24

       Chapter 25

       Chapter 26

       Chapter 27

       Chapter 28

       Chapter 29

       Chapter 30

       Chapter 31

       Chapter 32

       Chapter 33

       Chapter 34

       Chapter 35

       Acknowledgements

       About the Author

       About the Publisher

      To my husband Greg—beloved by cats everywhere.

       Chapter 1

      “Well, that’s that then,” I say flatly as the door slams shut with such vigour that it rattles in its frame. “He’s gone. I hope you’re pleased with yourself.”

      Outside on the street, I can hear the sound of a car engine starting. Within the kitchen, however, all is silent. I receive no response.

      “I don’t see what was so wrong with him.” I shake my head, beginning to pace as I warm to my theme. Unfortunately, the available floor space could be politely described as ‘bijou’, and only allows for about four steps before I have to turn and walk back again. “He was polite, educated, creative. No wives in the attic, as far as I could tell, and he always offered to pay for dinner. What more could you want?”

      I leave an expectant pause after that question. Green eyes stare back at me dispassionately.

      “I mean, one has to have standards, of course,” I acknowledge, resuming my truncated path across the room. “And I do, believe me. But that’s just the problem. It’s hard enough for a man to meet my standards, let alone having to contend with yours as well. It’s simply impossible. No one’s going to be up to it.” I stop in the middle of the room, throwing my hands up in exasperation. “Something’s going to have to change. And, by rights, I really think it should be …”

      I trail off as I turn to find the recipient of my lecture licking his paw.

      I put my hands on my hips and glare down at him. “Are you even listening to me?”

      He blinks up at me for a moment, before returning to his task with renewed dedication.

      I sigh deeply, kicking off my berry-coloured patent heels. I won’t be needing those any more tonight. The man they were intended to impress is probably halfway across Cambridge by now. Getting as far away as fast as possible, no doubt.

      You know, I really thought it might be different this time. I met James at a pop-up photography exhibition. He was thoughtful, attractive in a winsome, boy-next-door kind of way, perhaps not the kind of guy I’d usually have noticed, but he’d jostled into me by accident and knocked my clutch bag out of my hand, then apologised and asked me out in the same sentence. Immediately, that made my pulse fizz in anticipation; I absolutely love a serendipitous meeting. So romantic, don’t you think? I always imagine what a great story it’ll make, further down the line.

      Anyway, things seemed to be going well between us and, after four successful dates, I judged that it was time to initiate the final test of bringing him home to meet Casper.

      Alas, Casper thought differently. Casper always thinks differently. He’s found something to dislike in every single man I’ve brought home in the past two years. And when Casper doesn’t like someone, he shows it. I mean, really shows it. He doesn’t hold back.

      Little did I realise,