Tantra Goddess: A Memoir of Sexual Awakening. Copyright © 2011 by Caroline Muir. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner without written permission from the publisher except in critical articles and reviews. Contact the publisher for information. Printed in the United States of America. Book and cover design by Joe Tantillo. Cover Photography: Monique Feil Monkfish Book Publishing Company 22 East Market Street, Suite 304 Rhinebeck, New York 12572 www.monkfishpublishing.com USA 845-876-4861 eISBN 9781939681027 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data: Muir, Caroline. Tantra goddess : a memoir of sexual awakening / Caroline Muir. p. cm. ISBN 978-0-9823246-8-4 (pbk. : alk. paper) 1. Muir, Caroline--Sexual behavior. 2. Tantrism. I. Title. BF1623.S4M82 2011 306.7092--dc23 [B] 2011037910 Disclaimer: Tantra Goddess is a personal memoir into intimacy during my years as a pioneer of tantrically-based sexual healing practices and learning the joys of sacred sexual love. Any reference to mind altering substances or to the inclusion of more than one sexual partner, is in no way required or recommended for the practice of Tantra Yoga. Our School and Institute are clearly against any use of alcohol or intoxicating substances during sexual healing classes and trainings. Table of Contents Title Page Copyright Page Dedication Acknowledgements A Note from the Author Chapter One - The All-American Dream Chapter Two - On My Way Chapter Three - The Power of Connection Chapter Four - Angel Sister Lover Friend Chapter Five - Kundalini, Here I Come Chapter Six - The Beloved Truth Chapter Seven - A Queen Is Born Chapter Eight - Land of Aloha Chapter Nine - The Island of Our Love Chapter Ten - Over the Rainbow Chapter Eleven - The Ecstasy of the Singing Angels Chapter Twelve - Polishing the Pearl Chapter Thirteen - Mother Love Chapter Fourteen - Lost and Found Chapter Fifteen - Ascending the Heights Chapter Sixteen - The World Turns Upside-Down Chapter Seventeen - Goddess of the Moon Chapter Eighteen - All in the Family Chapter Nineteen - Attachment and Sovereignty Chapter Twenty - The Fall of Camelot Chapter Twenty-One - A Sabbatical from Marriage Chapter Twenty-Two - The Divine Feminine This book is dedicated to my greatest teacher: Love Acknowledgements I wish to express my heartfelt gratitude to Will Block, my sweetheart and partner, for his patience and support during the five years of recapitulation of my life and loves. His loving acceptance of Charles Muir and our friendship as well as the work we have birthed has given me the courage to bring this book to you. Deep gratitude to Suzanne Sherman, my patient and skilled writing consultant, editor, and dedicated friend for achieving the impossible out of what I sent her in the years I was learning how to use my Mac. She taught me that God is in the details, among many other things. And last but never least, my gratitude and enduring love to Charles Muir, beloved friend for all time, who was the central character of this memoir until I discovered that the central character was really me. Always, in all ways, A Note from the Author I have always wanted to be where the most love is. Tantra Goddess is a memoir of how far I have traveled, how deeply I have looked, and how willing I have been to risk all for the truth that dwells within my own heart. Many whom I write about have opted to remain themselves…others have requested their names be changed…and still others have spoken to me from the other side of this life. I hope I have heard their heavenly whispers accurately. The beloved is, for me, the divine lover who languishes radiantly in the core of my heart. There is also a quality of belovedness that manifests as a feeling and a way of caring for another. Join me as we reach toward the beloved through love-in-action. As the beloved takes form for you, remember that courage and perseverance are the hallmarks of a pioneer. Conscious sexual loving, practiced as an art form, is not for the faint of heart, but for the kings and queens and poets of love. Your body is an instrument for loving. Fine-tuning your instrument warms you for the symphony of harmonies that you play with another. Falling in love becomes a rising into love, an ever-ascending spiral of refinement of that which is sacred. Each moment calls us into an awareness of how well we live the true nature of love. Each of you will have your own perception of what a goddess is or how she looks or even the language she speaks. I perceive goddess as the divine in woman. That is the birthright of every female, just as it is the birthright of every male to embody the presence of God in the light that he emanates from within. That presence does not negate our humanness, our frailties, or our desires and attachments. Goddess as feminine energy is awakening in our culture and in the hearts and souls of those who wish to maintain balance. I practice living in Tantric union with myself, and the life around me, weaving an expanded awareness into the practical necessities of life. This blending or weaving of our masculine and feminine energies manifests in our sexuality in how we express love through the physical. I jumped at the opportunity
