PRAISE FOR ENLIGHTENMENT BLUES
“Andre van der Braak’s writing is fresh and innocent. He describes with humor and reflection what really happens to those of us who offer themselves so completely to another human being. There are mystical experiences; the heights come to life, but also the pits, the awful cruelty of those who have given up their personal conscience. I found this book compelling and terrifying at the same time.”
Orit Sen-Gupta, co-author of Dancing the Body of Light - The Future of Yoga
“Enlightenment Blues is the personal story of one man’s eleven year journey into and out of a group of seekers of enlightenment with a charismatic leader who claims to be an exemplar of perfection. What distinguishes this book are the writer’s insights and honesty. Anyone who has ever belonged to such a group, or knows anyone who has, or who wants to understand what the appeals and dangers of surrendering to a guru consist of, would benefit from reading this book.”
Joel Kramer, co-author of The Guru Papers
“This is an important book. Read it. Andre’s experience of falling for the Teacher’s charming logic and his painful exploration of understanding the golden cage of teachers and teachings will be a useful story for many.”
Mark Whitwell, author of Yoga of Heart
“Andre van der Braak’s book, Enlightenment Blues, is an astounding and fascinating account of the eleven years he spent with his guru, Andrew Cohen. It tells of one human being’s attempt, in the name of enlightenment, to compel another human being into abject submission. I saw how it was done. I was there. With an honesty that takes your breath away, the author reveals his own slow disintegration in the face of his master’s ever growing paranoia and ferocious will to control. A splendid job.”
Luna Tarlo, author of The Mother of God
Enlightenment Blues: My Years with an American Guru Copyright © 2003 by Andre van der Braak. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information contact Monkfish Book Publishing Company, 27 Lamoree Road, Rhinebeck, NY 12572.
Monkfish Memoirs 2
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Braak, Andre van der, 1963-
Enlightenment blues : my years with an American guru / by Andre van
der Braak.-- 1st ed.
p. cm.
eISBN 9781939681751
1. Braak, Andre van der, 1963- 2. Religious biography. I. Title.
BL73.B72A3 2003
299’.93--dc22
2003016323
Book and cover design by Georgia Dent
Cover art by René Magritte
Used with permission from ARS
Bulk purchase discounts, for educational or promotional purposes, are
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Monkfish Book Publishing Company
27 Lamoree Road
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Some of the names and identifying characteristics of people have been
changed to protect their privacy.
To Sariputra and Mogallana
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I want to thank my publisher and editor Paul Cohen for the extraordinary amount of effort he put into making this book possible. I’m very grateful to Orit Sen-Gupta for her invaluable moral support throughout and her editing assistance with the difficult ‘last leg’. I want to thank the ex-students of Andrew Cohen who have contributed to this story and who’ve read early drafts of this manuscript. But especially I want to thank Ute Wohlmuther, for being my companion during the five years that this book has been in the making. Without her love and support I would never have finished it.
Table of Contents
PRAISE FOR ENLIGHTENMENT BLUES Title Page Copyright Page Dedication ACKNOWLEDGMENTS INTRODUCTION 1 - THE HONEYMOON 2 - YOU HAVE TO CHANGE 3 - FACE EVERYTHING AND AVOID NOTHING 4 - ENLIGHTENMENT WARS 5 - GINA 6 - FOR THE SAKE OF THE WHOLE 7 - EXIT 8 - ENLIGHTENMENT BLUES 9 - EPILOGUE
INTRODUCTION
All religions point to the same transpersonal truth. The realization of this truth is often indicated by the term ‘enlightenment’.
Over the centuries many kinds of approaches have been devised to gain access to that larger truth. One thing they almost all have in common is the need to submit to a spiritual guide or teacher. This is deemed necessary because most of us are too caught up in our conditioning to find our own way out of it. Consequently for the teacher to be effective, the student must trust him or her very deeply.
A profusion of such minded spiritual communities exploded onto the scene during the Sixties and Seventies. As the churches in the West emptied out, the holy sites in the East filled up with westerners hungry for spiritual experiences. A spiritual renaissance was in the air. Westerners enrobed as Buddhist monks, visited ashrams to study yoga, and became followers of westernized Eastern teachers such as as Bhagwan Rajneesh, Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, Suzuki Roshi, or Swami Muktananda. Enlightenment seemed at hand.
At the time when my story begins, around the late eighties, the atmosphere had changed. The new goddess Enlightenment was not so easily won. Some of the original enthusiasm had given way to doubt and uncertainty. Buddhist monks disrobed and became meditation teachers in the West. They experimented with psychotherapy, romantic relationship as a spiritual path, and spirituality in daily life. The grandiose ambitions of before were scaled down to more realistic proportions. After the ecstasy, the laundry—as one book title puts it.
Apart from the elusive nature of enlightenment there was another disturbing development. Enlightened spiritual teachers had become embroiled in public scandals, usually related to sex, money or power. This left many dedicated spiritual seekers disappointed and disillusioned. Either enlightenment wasn’t to be attained, or if it was attained, it didn’t turn people into decent humans. There was a general sense