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Autism - A Family’s Journey
by Michael Terrill
From the film: “Autism – A Family’s Journey"
Adapted for eBook by Laura Sky Brown, Lorraine Lupo, and John Holkeboer
This edition published by Dreamscape Media LLC, 2018
www.dreamscapeab.com * [email protected]
1417 Timberwolf Drive, Holland, OH 43528
877.983.7326
TABLE OF CONTENTS
A Very Different Start in Life
Early Intervention Sessions—from Eye Contact to Toilet Training
When Does This Child Have Time to Be a Child?
Editor’s Note
This eBook is a companion to the film “Autism: A Family’s Journey.” In it, the Cairns family recount their experiences with living with autism. Autism is understood as a spectrum disorder, with a range of skill levels and disability. No two people with this diagnosis present in exactly the same way. The Cairns family faced a certain set of challenges with their son’s diagnosis and chose interventions which may be similar or different from other families’ challenges and interventions. Their story is meant to be illustrative but not prescriptive.
The content provided in this eBook is for general informational purposes only. While we have tried to provide current information, we make no representation about this eBook’s completeness as a resource. It is not intended to be a comprehensive work on the subject of autism, autism spectrum disorder, child-rearing, or developmental or mental-health issues. This eBook is also not intended to be a substitute for medical and professional advice from licensed physicians or mental-health professionals. Readers should consult with a professional for matters relating to their children’s mental and physical health and development.
At the end of this eBook, we have provided supplemental information and links to organizations, publications, and resources on the subject of autism. We have no control over the content, nature, and continued availability of these sites and resources. The inclusion of these sites does not imply our endorsement of, or agreement with the views expressed therein.
Introduction
In 1997, the Cairns family received a diagnosis—one that every parent fears. Their son had autism. This was presented to Lori and Jim as a life sentence for their son, J.R., something they could do very little about. But they refused to give up, and now they want to share their successes with others who may be facing a similar challenge.
This is the story of how, at a time when autism was much less understood than it is today, the Cairns family put together a plan involving early intervention, great therapists, and strong determination to help their son be a fully participating member of the family and the community—and how it worked for them. This is the story of J.R. Cairns, their son, from the beginning of his life to his entrance into adulthood.
A Very Different Start in Life
“J.R. was my second child,” says Lori Cairns. “He and his older sister, Shelby, were only eighteen months apart, but they couldn’t have been more different. Shelby walked when she was nine months old; she talked right on time. She had a large vocabulary. You couldn’t keep her quiet. And she asked so many questions and was so curious about things. J.R. was different. He seemed very into himself. I do remember him smiling and interacting, early on, but then that kind of faded as time went on.”
When J.R. was about 18 months old, Lori remembers trying to get J.R. to look at her. “He was all over the place. That’s the first time, in my mind, at about a year and a half of age, that I thought, I’m not so sure about this. He wasn’t talking. He would cry a lot. I know now that he couldn’t tell me what he wanted, so he would cry. Communicating with him was hard because he didn’t understand what I was saying to him. It was frustrating for us, because we’d tell him to do something and he just didn’t do any of it. We still didn’t understand the scope of what was wrong.”
This was clarified for Lori and her husband, Jim, when one of J.R.’s cousins, Jordan, who is three months older, came to visit over the holidays. As Lori tells it, “we were out in the back yard playing. I remember it distinctly: Jordan was out there with his ball and bat and running all over the place. He and J.R.’s sister Shelby were playing together, while J.R. was over in the sandbox by himself, minding his own business and not interacting with the others at all. My brother, Jordan’s dad, remarked: ‘Look how well behaved J.R. is. He just sits there!’ My husband, Jim, also commented to me, ‘I can’t believe how advanced Jordan is.’ And then we thought, ‘is it that he is so advanced, or is J.R. behind?’. That was when we both went, ‘Oh, wow.’ And we went to see the doctor.”
Jim says, “As a young child, J.R. never really talked, but as time went on, even the level of sounds he was making cut way back, and that seemed pretty strange. We started to put it all in context: the not talking. The not liking interaction. He didn’t necessarily like to have