Tuned In
The Power of Pressing Pause and Listening
Tuned In
The Power of Pressing Pause and Listening
Art and Laraine Bennett
Our
Sunday
Visitor
Our Sunday Visitor Publishing Division
Our Sunday Visitor, Inc.
Huntington, Indiana 46750
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Copyright © 2017 by Art and Laraine Bennett. Published 2017.
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All rights reserved. With the exception of short excerpts for critical reviews, no part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means whatsoever without permission from the publisher. For more information, visit: www.osv.com/permissions.
Our Sunday Visitor Publishing Division, Our Sunday Visitor, Inc.,
200 Noll Plaza, Huntington, IN 46750; 1-800-348-2440
ISBN: 978-1-68192-060-3 (Inventory No. T1809)
eISBN: 978-1-68192-065-8
LCCN: 2017948756
Cover design: Lindsey Riesen
Cover art: Shutterstock
Interior design: Dianne Nelson
PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
About The Authors
Art Bennett is currently the president and chief executive officer (CEO) of Catholic Charities in the Diocese of Arlington, Virginia. He was also the co-founder and director of the Alpha Omega Clinics in Maryland and Virginia (2002–2010). He has more than thirty years’ experience in the mental health field and is a frequent speaker on marriage and family issues.
Laraine Bennett has a master’s degree in philosophy and is the communications manager for the National Council of Catholic Women.
Together, the Bennetts have co-authored three popular books on temperament (The Temperament God Gave You, The Temperament God Gave Your Spouse, and the Temperament God Gave Your Kids) in addition to their book The Emotions God Gave You. Laraine wrote A Year of Grace: 365 Reflections for Caregivers.
Art and Laraine have been married for forty years.
To Dylan, Micah, and Baby Bennett
Contents
CHAPTER 1 Listening: The Most Important Thing
CHAPTER 3 Listening to Your Heart
CHAPTER 4 Listening to Criticism
CHAPTER 7 Listening to Accompany
Acknowledgments
We are grateful to Pope Francis, who challenges us to bring the good news of God’s mercy beyond our comfort zone, especially to the margins, and to view our Church as a “field hospital.” His emphasis on encounter, listening, and accompaniment inspires us continually. In the words of Saint Catherine of Siena, he is our own “sweet Christ on earth.”
We are grateful to Bert Ghezzi for his friendship and editorial leadership; we wish him happy retirement! And we gratefully acknowledge Mary Beth Baker’s editorial guidance and assistance.
We are especially grateful to our family, whose love fills our hearts with happiness and laughter, giving us a glimpse of that heavenly wedding feast we one day hope to enjoy.
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Unless otherwise noted, Scripture citations are from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible — Second Catholic Edition (Ignatius Edition), copyright © 1965, 1966, 2006 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Where noted, other Scripture citations are from the New American Bible, revised edition copyright © 2010, 1991, 1986, 1970 Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, Washington, D.C., and are used by permission of the copyright owner. All rights reserved. No part of the New American Bible may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the copyright owner. Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™
English translation of the Catechism of the Catholic Church for use in the United States of America copyright © 1994, United States Catholic Conference, Inc. — Libreria Editrice Vaticana. English translation of the Catechism of the Catholic Church: Modifications from the Editio Typica copyright © 1997, United States Catholic Conference, Inc. — Libreria Editrice Vaticana.
Excerpts from the English translation of Non-Biblical Readings from The Liturgy of the Hours copyright © 1973, 1974, 1975, International Commission on English in the Liturgy Corporation; excerpts from the English translation of The Roman Missal copyright © 2010, ICEL. All rights reserved.
Quotations from papal and other Vatican-generated documents available on vatican.va are copyright © Libreria Editrice Vaticana.
Chapter 1
Listening: The Most Important Thing
We were spending a leisurely evening at a dinner party hosted by acquaintances. As we engaged in spirited conversation with a couple whom we had just met, both of us had the same negative reaction. Whenever we would bring up a potential topic for discussion or put forward a unique fact about ourselves — for example, the fact that we once lived in Germany for more than four years with small children — they would give a perfunctory nod, and then they immediately launched into a passionate monologue about how they, too, had had a similar experience: “Once, we took a cruise down the Rhine….” It was as though they could barely wait for us to finish our sentence before they jumped in with an “I’ll see your Germany, and I will raise you our Rhineland cruise!”
By the end of the evening, we were exhausted and grumpy. We grumbled all the way home