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Copyright © 2018 Karen C.L. Anderson.
Published by Mango Publishing Group, a division of Mango Media Inc.
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Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
Library of Congress Cataloging
ISBN: (print) 978-1-63353-717-0, (ebook) 978-1-63353-716-3
Library of Congress Control Number: 2017959858
BISAC category code: BISAC category code FAM033000 FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Parenting / Parent & Adult Child, BISAC category code OCC019000n BODY, MIND & SPIRIT / Inspiration & Personal Growth
Printed in the United States of America
Disclaimer
No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical or electronic, including photocopying or recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, or transmitted by email without permission in writing from the author.
Neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility for errors, omissions, or contrary interpretations of the subject matter herein. Any perceived slight of any individual or organization is purely unintentional.
The author is not a licensed professional. This book details the author’s personal experience and opinions. Among other things, it includes the author’s reactions and memories. The author acknowledges that others may remember certain situations that she recounts in this book differently than she does. She is aware that others may have experienced some of the situations in the book in a way that is significantly different from the way she portrays them.
This book is dedicated to mothers and daughters and to painful generational patterns that want to be healed.
It is dedicated to all the women who have come before us, who sacrificed their spirits and their dreams because the world was not yet ready for them and not yet ready to value women as they are and as they wish to be.
It is dedicated to the fierce, wild, liberated women who will come after us.
“A practical and uplifting guide for the scores of women whose relationship with their mothers is less than optimal!”
—Dr. Christiane Northrup, MD, author of the New York Times bestsellers Goddesses Never Age: The Secret Prescription for Radiance, Vitality, and Wellbeing, Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom and The Wisdom of Menopause
“An empowering book that offers clarity and validation, as well as strategies for freeing yourself from the control of an unhealthy mother relationship.”
—Susan Forward, PhD, author of Toxic Parents and Mothers Who Can’t Love
“Congratulations to Karen C.L. Anderson who has approached, embraced, and translated, in the most compassionate and engaging way, the most essential of subjects: the relationships between mothers and daughters. With grace, courage, and articulate brilliance, Anderson tells her own story with unhesitating integrity and complicated respect, thereby inviting the rest of us to do the same. For that, and for her clear, uncompromising prose, I would suggest that every woman who has struggled with her relationship to motherhood—from any perspective—reach for Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters.”
—Dr. Gina Barreca, Professor of English and Feminist Theory at the University of Connecticut, Syndicated Columnist, and author of If You Lean In, Will Men Just Look Down Your Blouse?
“Whether you can still call your mother, or not, this book will inspire healthy, life-changing patterns in what is so often the most fraught terrain of our lives. It models and inspires grace, acceptance, forgiveness, and thriving. I can still call mine, and Karen Anderson’s high dose of rational, and yes, magical thinking…has made all the difference.”
—Laura Munson, New York Times and international best-selling author of This Is Not the Story You Think It Is, and founder of the acclaimed Haven Writing Retreats
“The work that Karen C.L. Anderson is doing with daughters in regards to their mothers is some of the most important work on the planet today. When we understand how influenced our minds are by what happened when we were growing up, we can then decide to let it go. In this book, Karen gives us the steps to do just that. I know from experience that this work is not easy, but it is by far the most important work I have ever done. Let Karen show you the way.”
—Brooke Castillo, Master Coach Instructor & Founder of The Life Coach School
“A valuable read for anyone who has or had ‘mother problems.’ And there’s a bonus: the strategies she suggests could be helpful in any close relationship in your life.
—Marsha Hudnall, MS, RDN, CD, President & Co-Owner, Green Mountain at Fox Run
“Karen C.L. Anderson brings daughters from suffering a difficult mother/motherhood relationship to surviving and thriving with her honesty, humor, and pragmatic guidance.”
—Ann Imig, Founder of LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER and author of Listen to Your Mother: What She Said Then, What We’re Saying Now
“Here’s the truth: Karen C.L. Anderson’s moving book is not just for the relationship you have with your mother—it will help you thrive in all your intimate relationships through moving stories, helpful tools, and brilliant ideas. This is a must-read for anyone who finds themselves accepting bad behavior from others over and over again, and are finally ready to make a change. It only takes one person to change a dynamic between two.”
—Dr. Nancy Muirhead , Clinical Psychologist
“There’s surprising wisdom for leaders in the pages of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters. Through the mother-daughter lens, the writer's unique perspective and transparency challenge the ways we engage with difficult people and make healthy choices. Undeniably, how we were parented impacts how we lead and follow; from the boardroom or living room; from positions of formal authority or informal influence. This book compels readers and leaders, to think deeply about relationship strategies, and take the author's sage and sensible advice.”
—Dr. Brenda Wilkins, President SoulPowered & BMG Management
The Matriarch Mare
The Matriarch Mare is calm because her boundaries are impeccable. Because she knows who she is—with clarity and equanimity—the other horses respect her. She does not let herself be influenced by another horse’s fears or anxieties or aggression. She knows the right thing to do, based on her own internal signals, and she does it. She doesn’t need approval or permission. She lives and breathes from a place