Joanna Poppink

Healing Your Hungry Heart


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      Praise for Healing Your Hungry Heart

      “Joanna Poppink's Healing Your Hungry Heart answers two questions I frequently hear from troubled eaters: ‘How do I begin my recovery?’ and ‘What can I do to sustain it?’ Her chapter on the warning signs of an eating disorder is especially helpful for those who aren't sure if their relationship with food is unhealthy or not. Other chapters gently guide the reader in an exploration of what is needed to recover from deregulated eating—mindfulness, self-reflection, honesty, bona fide emotional nourishment, and daily practices for skill acquisition and moving toward true fulfillment. I would certainly recommend this book to my clients and students.”

      —Karen R. Koenig, LCSW, MEd, author of The Food and Feelings Workbook and Nice Girls Finish Fat

      “Finally—a book that speaks beyond the stereotype of eating disorders as the ‘little girl's disease,’ reaching out to women who have lived with these devastating disorders for years, and offering practical, sound, and insightful advice on how to begin, and sustain, real recovery.”

      —Marya Hornbacher, author of Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia

      “For three decades as a therapist, and now as an author, Joanna Poppink has used her personal experience with bulimia, insights into healing, empathy, and knowledge to help women recover from eating disorders. In this book, she shares stories from many of her former patients and covers diverse topics ranging from mindful contemplations on eating to an intimate discussion of sexuality. Practical, personal, and powerful!”

      —Leigh Cohn, coauthor of Bulimia: A Guide to Recovery, editor-inchief of Eating Disorders: The Journal of Treatment and Prevention

      “This book offers a variety of valuable tools and practical ways for those with eating disorders to nourish both their bodies and their spirits. It offers real solutions and hope for its readers.”

      —Christine Hartline, MA, founder and director of Eating Disorder Referral and Information Center, EDReferral.com

      “If you struggle with food or body image, Joanna Poppink's Healing Your Hungry Heart is sure to help! Through her story and those of others, Joanna assures us that true recovery is both real and attainable. This is an important addition to the recovery bookshelf.”

      —Jenni Schaefer, author of Goodbye Ed, Hello Me and Life Without Ed

      “Joanna Poppink writes not only of the heart, but from the heart. Through many examples, exercises, and distillations of her wellearned wisdom, she gives hope and help to women who are struggling with the pain and shame of eating disorders.”

      —Joan A. Lang, MD, psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, professor emeritus and former chair of the Department of Psychiatry at Saint Louis University

      “At last it's here! A book that speaks to women of all ages who have lived with the devastating and deadly conditions called eating disorders. Healing Your Hungry Heart not only gives solid, practical advice to someone who wants be truly recovered but also gives advice that speaks to the heart and true identity of a real woman.”

      —Jeanne Rust, PhD, CEO and founder of Mirasol Eating Disorder Treatment Center

      “Eating disorders are a hidden personal ravishment in our Western culture, and those seeking a cure will find the pathway outlined in Joanna's book. This is a strong companion on the road to recovery.”

      —Jonathan Flier, MA, MFT, president of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists—Los Angeles chapter

      First published in 2011 by Conari Press, an imprint of

      Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC

      665 Third Street, Suite 400

      San Francisco, CA 94107

       www.redwheelweiser.com

      To protect the privacy of individuals, all names in eating disorder stories have been changed and identities have been disguised.

      Copyright © 2011 by Joanna Poppink

      All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC. Reviewers may quote brief passages.

      ISBN: 978-1-57324-470-1

      Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.

      Cover by Jim Warner

      Cover photograph Raspberries © Corbis/SuperStock

      Interior by Frame25 Productions

      Typeset in Garamond Premier

      Printed in Canada

      TCP

      10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

      The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of the American National Standard for Information Sciences—Permanence of Paper for Printed Library Materials Z39.48-1992 (R1997).

      Contents

       Acknowledgments

      CHAPTER 1 Unreal to Real: Snapshots of My Story

      CHAPTER 2 Beginning to Free Yourself

      CHAPTER 3 Early Warning Signs

      CHAPTER 4 How Do I Begin Recovery?

      CHAPTER 5 Boundaries: A Challenge in Early Recovery

      CHAPTER 6 Secrets

      CHAPTER 7 Challenges to Eating Well

      CHAPTER 8 Contemplations on Eating a Meal

      CHAPTER 9 Spiritual Depth

      CHAPTER 10 The Great Terror

      CHAPTER 11 Recovery Check-In

      CHAPTER 12 Sex,