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Heart & Soul
Living the Joy, Truth and Beauty of Your Intimate Relationship
Daphne Rose Kingma
Conari Press
Berkeley, California
Copyright ©1995 by Daphne Rose Kingma
All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations in critical articles or reviews. For information, contact Conari Press, 1144 65th Street, Suite B, Emeryville, CA 94608.
Printed in the United States of America on recycled paper
Conari Press books are distributed by Publishers Group West
ISBN: 1-57324-001-X
Cover design by Floyd Carter and Christine Leonard Raquepaw
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Kingma, Daphne Rose.
Heart & Soul : living the joy, truth, and beauty of your intimate relationship Daphne Rose Kingma.
p. cm.
ISBN 1-57324-001-X : $9.95
1. Intimacy (Psychology). 2. Interpersonal relations. I. Title. II. Title: Heart and soul.
BF575.I5K56 1995
158' .2-dc20
94-48648
CIP
This book was floated up on sweet wings of love. My deep thanks to Sunta Oannes and Sunshine Espirit for providing the cradle in which so many of these words were written, to Tom and Eileen for my garret in Nantucket, to my blessed sister, Chris, for first bringing these words to the page, and to my dear ones at Conari Press: my editor, Mary Jane Ryan, for patience, humor, and steadfastness in love; to Karen “Grace” Bouris, for aesthetic wisdom and genteel persistence; to Emily Miles for sensitivity and graciousness; to Jennifer for laughter; to Claudia, for kindness; to David for tenacity; and to Will Glennon, for real listening.
With great love
for
Harold Yvan Le Brock whose loving heart and exquisite soul are joy, truth, and beauty embodied
The food of the heart is love; the true condition of the soul is union.
CONTENTS
Aspire to a Spiritual Relationship
Discover Sex as Sacred Reunion
Be Extravagant with Your Praise
Accept the Glorious Compromises of Love
Lie in the Rose Petals
Practice Happiness to Prepare for Joy
Play
Honor the Anger Inside You
Share Your Transcendent Moments
Rest in the Radiance of Forgiveness
Be Available to the Mystery
Know One Another Like the Seasons
Live the Truth
See Your Beloved as a Spiritual Being
Have the Courage to Say No
Express Your Deep Fears
Acknowledge Your Relationship Ambivalence
Accept What Is
Face Your Denials
Respect the Opposite Sex
Be Open to Receive the Message
Practice the Courage of Criticism
Open Your Heart to the Life-Changing Remark
Integrate the Divine Erotic
Recognize the Longings of Your Spirit
Tell Your Beloved Your Story
Be Conscious of Your Unconscious
Seek the Common Ground
Hold Your Beloved in Special Awareness
Raise the Consciousness of Your Love
Seek Your Emotional Healing
Allow Your Needs to Be Your Guide
Inhabit the Paradox of Urgency and Surrender
Face Your Difficulties Head-on
Move to the Spiritual Level
Protect Your Soul
Pursue Beauty
Learn the Language of Intimacy
Be Patient, Gentle, and Kind
Value Your Precious Incarnation
Look After Your Body
Practice the Art of Empathy
Lighten Up
Nourish Your Heart and Soul
Consider Your Beloved
Cuddle Up
Pay Attention to Timing
Rediscover the Harmony
Honor Yourself
Let Go of It All
Offer Loving Service
Seek the Deliverance Point
Celebrate the “We” of You