PRAISE FOR disentangle
“Disentangle is an extremely valuable guidebook for people in difficult family/divorce/matrimonial law disputes. I encourage couples to use this guide not to win their case, but to learn how to win their lives back in a positive, non-adversarial way. Long after the court case is over, the parties have to find ways to co-parent, coexist, and move on to the next best possibility. Until they disentangle, it is all but impossible.
“Disentangle is also a valuable guide for matrimonial attorneys to read in order to give the best counsel to their clients involved in personal misery cases. Many of my family law attorneys have reported that it has helped them get their clients focused on their lives in a healthier way and move away from the personal pain matters for which the courts are unlikely and unable to provide relief to the parties.”
Hon. Joseph Moody Buckner Chief District Judge Hillsborough, North Carolina
“Nancy Johnston’s Disentangle is an exceptionally clear and accessible handbook for doing just that: disentangling from the life patterns that hold us hostage. It’s also a guide for moving on, with a wealth of good counsel on setting healthy boundaries. Favorite chapter: ‘Developing Spirituality,’ which is both inspiring and utterly practical. Bravo!”
Lisa Tracy Journalist and Author of Objects of Our Affection: Uncovering My Family’s Past, One Chair, Pistol, and Pickle Fork at a Time
“By offering her own experience, strength, and hope, Nancy Johnston provides practical solutions to all of us who struggle with separating ourselves from others in a loving way. In her book, Disentangle: When You’ve Lost Your Self in Someone Else, I find methods and tools for setting healthy boundaries, recognizing when those boundaries have been crossed, and living peacefully with people and circumstances over which I have no control. At the same time, the book provides guidance on developing and strengthening the person I am and the person I want to become. When I’m out of balance and recognize that I’m tumbling into an entanglement, I can turn to this book for help. I am grateful for Nancy’s wisdom, honesty, and generosity; her words speak to my heart and guide my spirit.”
Hope L. Hennessey Editor and Life Coach
“The moment I laid eyes on Nancy Johnston’s subtitle, When You’ve Lost Your Self in Someone Else, I knew that this author understood the process of loss, and I also knew from the title, Disentangle, that she had identified a path out. Immediately I began putting her four-pronged approach (Facing Illusions, Detaching, Setting Healthy Boundaries, and Developing Spirituality) to work in my own life. Next I introduced these concepts to my clients, especially my weekly Boundaries Group. What a wonderful guidebook!
“I love the way the book is formatted, with a near perfect balance of vulnerability and self-disclosure, client stories, and practical skills. I strongly recommend Disentangle to anyone in recovery, those professionals working with others in recovery, and anyone whose relationships are entangled.”
Margaret L. Cress, LMFT
“As an experiential educator who works closely with individuals to help them deal with life’s struggles, fears, and changes, this book’s amazing value has been realized by me many times. In the last several years, I have purchased and given this book to close relatives, colleagues, and my ex-wife.
“A colleague of mine struggled for years with her son’s drug addiction. Before receiving Disentangle she always gave in to the charms of her son and his promises to stop drugs, do better, and get his life together. She gave him money and unconditional love only to have her hopes dashed each time. Now, based in part on Nancy’s book, she has been able to step back and set boundaries that protect her from the awful hurt she has endured for years.”
Russ Watkins Owner/Director ASCEND
“Nancy has created a combination resource/workbook for all of those who have struggled with ‘losing themselves’ when in a relationship with a partner, parent, child, friend, or coworker. Any who have benefited from classic codependency books such as Codependent No More by Melody Beattie, Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood, Getting Them Sober by Toby Rice Drews, or Facing Codependency by Pia Mellody, will find Nancy’s book a step-by-step method to put what they have learned to work and apply it specifically to their situations. Disentangle is written from Nancy’s wisdom gleaned from years as a therapist, as well as personal experience in her own relationships. I have found it more user-friendly than most self-help books, and I recommend it to other therapists as a resource for clients. It’s also a great supplement to any twelve-step program. Thanks for this great addition to relationship resources, Nancy!”
Lois Horne, Ed.S., LPC, LSATP
“This very useful book helped me to disentangle from an alcoholic and verbally abusive husband. I have written nineteen books, and I heartily endorse Johnston’s book and her methods, which have helped me to move on into a wholesome and very happy new relationship.”
Katie Letcher Lyle Author
“A practical, easy-reading guide to codependency, the behavior set first recognized in those living with and around alcoholics and addicts. Using stories from her experiences, Johnston accurately outlines not only the issues of codependency, but also the spiritual tools necessary to unravel the mess created by these behaviors in life’s relationships. The book is a highly valuable read for anyone with a personal or clinical interest in the problems of codependency.”
David L. Nelson, MD
“Disentangle is a reader-friendly self-help manual filled with ideas about how to build a more self-directed, peaceful life. It is a ‘must have’ for anyone entering recovery with codependency issues. Setting healthy boundaries is a learned behavior that demands practice, and Ms. Johnston discusses in detail how to begin this process in a thoughtful manner. Johnston’s ability to empower readers to apply these concepts to themselves makes this book an essential part of any bibliotherapy. Practitioners or graduate students who are motivated to deepen self-awareness will also find this book a good companion on that journey.”
Rana Duncan-Daston, LCSW, Ed.D. Radford University School of Social Work
disentangle
Nancy L. Johnston, MS, LPC, LSATP
disentangle
When You’ve Lost Your Self
in Someone Else
Central Recovery Press
Las Vegas, Nevada
CENTRAL RECOv ERy PRESS
Central Recovery Press (CRP) is committed to publishing exceptional materials addressing addiction treatment, recovery, and behavioral health care, including original and quality books, audio/visual communications, and Web-based new media. Through a diverse selection of titles, it seeks to impact the behavioral health care field with a broad range of unique resources for professionals, recovering individuals, and their families.
For more information, visit www.centralrecoverypress.com.
Central Recovery Press, Las vegas, Nv 89129
© 2003, 2011 by Nancy L. Johnston
ISBN-13: 978-1-936290-03-1
ISBN-10: 1-936290-03-0
ISBN-13: 978-1-936290-49-9 (e-book)
All rights reserved.
Published 2011.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission