“The Chase”
How To Keep Her Once You’ve Married Her
By Oscar Joseph
©Copyright 2011
All Rights Reserved
Published in eBook format by eBookIt.com
ISBN-13: 978-1-4566-0802-6
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.
Foreword
For our 30th anniversary we bought a double recliner. I think that is our first and only anniversary gift we’ve given each other. Due to our being a one-income family most of our years, we agreed to only buy gifts only for the kids and our parents. But now we can finally relax after a days’ work on something other than an exercise bench.
But we had many conversations on that bench, including ideas about this book. Oscar told me he would do almost anything I asked him to do, and this book is one of them. He does like to please me, so The Chase is one of the many “points” he continues to make to win my affections. He enjoys pointing out that he is still chasing me. Thus the title.
During the years Oscar was a pastor, a number of times men would point out that if there was ever a man who practiced what he preached, it was he. As his wife who sees him morning, noon, and night, I wholeheartedly agree. The words and actions he writes here are the very things he has done to win my heart over and over.
I am writing this foreword because most men tend to exaggerate about their fishing and their relationships with women. My husband doesn’t do that, so I will have to be the one to tell you that he has done what he talks about in this book, and it has sure worked in our marriage.
I believe it will work in yours too.
Susan Joseph
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Acknowledgements
This book would not have happened at all without the love, support, loyalty, and encouragement that I have received from my wife Susan. It was her willingness to graciously clue me in on the science of “Womanology” (specifically “Susanology”) that saved me from failure as a husband and instead gave me a gift of a marriage far beyond what I could have asked or imagined.
I also want to thank our son Brandon and his wife Grace for their editorial and photographic contributions.
Our pastor Ted Cunningham’s teaching and passion for great marriages provided continued inspiration for finishing this book.
Last, I must thank Jesus Christ for saving me from my selfishness and being the model husband for me and all the rest of the husbands who ever lived.
Oscar Joseph
The Chase 1: A Hot Marriage Is Within Your Reach
How does the word marriage strike you?
Like sour milk?
Or a wet blanket?
Or a cold shoulder?
If you are among the growing number of guys who think marriage is a tired and overrated institution that will kill whatever fun you were having as a couple, then this book is for you!
The stock value of marriage is way down. Celebrities are publicly ridiculing it. People are divorcing by the dozens. Each generation is postponing it later and later. Many are avoiding it altogether.
But despite all appearances to the contrary, marriage is the HOTTEST way to live…if it has the key ingredient that most married people fail to add to the mix. And that ingredient is within reach for every couple. So what is that spice that makes it sizzle instead of fizzle? And how can you keep it sizzling for a more than just a few months?
Read on.
So what is a HOT marriage?
A HOT marriage is the kind you find yourself wanting to come home to every night, because you yearn to be with her. You watch the clock all day at work because you look forward to being with her again, and you eagerly await connecting with her at every level – from casual conversation to passionate sex. You think about her through the day and love to hear her voice on the phone or see her name on an email or text. You think of new ways to have fun with her and look forward to every opportunity to show off for her in some way. You are in pursuit of her attention and affections like a hunter going after his favorite game. Studying her ways. Trying to figure out where she is. Having the right “ammunition” and being in the right place at the right time. Watching patiently for her to come around to your location. Getting as close to her as possible. And not being satisfied with one successful hunt, because at the end of it you may get the trophy you want the most, but the excitement of that one hunt only whets your appetite for another one. Her response and her passion for you keep you coming back for more—this is a life infused with the thrill of the chase.
If you’re already shaking your head in disbelief, that’s understandable. You might be saying, “Yeah, right. Like that’s what my buddies’ marriages are like.”
You are probably trying to think of even ONE marriage you’ve seen like I’ve described above. I’ll grant you that they aren’t common, unfortunately. But that doesn’t mean you can’t get one. Because I believe pursuit like that is within the reach of every married guy who will dare to go after the best game he could ever “bag” – a HOT marriage.
An Endangered Species…
Did you ever walk through the zoo and find a beautiful antelope or a huge, indomitable tiger whose display signs included in big letters “Endangered Species”? You might read on the sign that some competing species or the progress of man has been very unkind to these magnificent animals. Likewise, the good marriage has become an endangered species. Changes in our culture seem to have driven it to the edge of extinction. You could go your whole life without seeing one. But I have seen good marriages, and I am here to tell you that they are still out there, and can be had by ordinary mortals like you and me if we will only step up to the plate by carefully following the instructions—instructions that have been around and are still available for those who won’t settle for less.
They are rare because our culture has chosen to propagate, protect, and promote an inferior species. Casual sex is the “game” of choice for many guys. Our culture has bought into the notion that the key to getting plenty of sex is to make it commitment-free. We’ve been told that old ideas about sex have kept us from really enjoying it. We’ve been told that marriage actually interferes with our primal sex drives, so it needs to be replaced with a “go for it as long as it’s between consenting adults” formula for sexual fulfillment. The current divorce rate and the growing number of people who have been hurt and disappointed by bad marriages seem to confirm the notion.
For many married guys, the heat of passion stopped soon after the marriage began. Before tying the knot there was an excitement about her and the relationship. But something about the vows and the wedding and the responsibilities and the surprising expectations of the wife just put the kibosh on all that. It would seem to the casual observer that the best way to kill a good relationship is to get married.
The Hot Marriage hasn’t been over-hunted. It has become rare because the mongrel species, Free Sex, has gobbled up the food and