THE
EMPEROR’S
RIDE
A GALACTIC TALE OF IMPERIAL ADVENTURE, CASUAL SEX, AND EXCESSIVE DRINKING AMONG THOSE WHO TRAVEL BETWEEN THE STARS
THE MONSTERS ARE EASY,
IT’S THE GIRLS THAT ARE
DANGEROUS
BY
TOM ANDERSON
Copyright 2011 Tom Anderson,
All rights reserved.
Published in eBook format by eBookIt.com
ISBN-13: 978-1-4566-0423-3
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.
◊My name is Bob Nesslun. I am a licensed ghoul hunter. When something wanders into an area where modern weapons cannot be used and becomes a problem, I am the man you call. You contact me. I come to your world. The creature tries to kill me and your problem is solved.
It was not the worst hangover I had ever had, but it was in the top ten. Some horrible creature was driving nails into the top of my head and I couldn’t get my eyes to focus. I stumbled over something and nearly fell. It was another body with all the fluids sucked out. It’s amazing how small a human body is with all the fluids sucked out. Even with the pain in my head I couldn’t stop thinking about the girl I had slept with last night. Mostly because I couldn’t remember which one it was. Gwen had light brown hair and a very nice face, but it was her huge perfect boobs that would fill a man’s dreams. I could still see the look on Gwen’s face when I started to pull that first orgasm out of her when she hadn’t taken an orgasm pill. Sharon had perfectly styled black hair and the most beautiful, made for kissing face imaginable. Sharon also had the most talented vagina that my penis had ever had the pleasure of spending time with. I didn’t let Sharon take an orgasm pill either and I had pulled orgasms out of Sharon as well. I know that I had sex with both girls, but whose apartment had I spent the night in?
I heard that mind piercing shriek that meant that one of the tic’s had found me. As the huge horrible thing charged me it started that cackling laugh meant to paralyze its victim. Normally that laugh would have paralyzed me with fear, but with the hangover I had, death would be an improvement. The tic was only a few steps from me when I became paralyzed and my body began to deal with the tic all by itself. It was like I was on a funhouse ride. My body was moving, but I had absolutely no control over what my body did. As the tic charged me, The Ride had my body twist out of the way at the last possible moment and the tic’s claws only brushed the edge of my shirt. As the tic spun around to try to grab me again, the two smaller tics attacked as well. The Ride avoided all three sets of claws and had my body hit one of the smaller tics in its neck to break a bone so that a piece of that bone would sever the tic’s spinal cord. Then with the same motion The Ride had my body push the other smaller tic into the larger tic. The larger tic violently swept the smaller tic out of the way sending the smaller tic smashing into a wall which collapsed on top of it. The Ride had my body run to the far end of the cavern as the tic charged after me. Then The Ride had my body grab a support post so that I spun around and was charging towards the tic. The Ride had my body jump on a boulder and leave the ground so the heal of one foot would hit the tic’s chin at the full extension of my leg with absolutely all of my body’s strength and momentum focused on that heel. The head snapped back at the perfect angle to snap the tic’s neck. I was back in control again. The Ride and my hangover were gone.
◊◊◊
This is the story of a man who saves the life of a Galactic Emperor. This is also a story about the Emperor’s two beautiful daughter’s who start out only wanting him for a sex toy and the Galactic Media which put him on a pedestal he felt he did not deserve. This story is told in the man’s own words. To read only this story please read between the ◊ and the ◊◊◊. To also read the story surrounding the story please ignore the ◊ and the ◊◊◊ and enjoy the Emperor’s Ride.
CHAPTER 1
DR CARROLL
◊I had just finished cleaning out a family of tics from a fuel grade gloride mine on the planet Oshon. My star transport was on a two day layover on the planet Molal for minor repairs. I was checking out the local bars and there she was, my dear Dr Carroll sitting at a table by herself. There were two glasses, but Dr Carroll said she owed me one and Molal seemed a pleasant enough place to spend a couple of weeks in the hospital.
“Bob” Dr Carroll said as she jumped up and hugged me. “What brings you here?”
“I was just heading home from a job. I'm healthy and I have nothing going on. I was hoping this would be a good time for you to put me in the hospital.”
“I'd love to, but I have a brand new expedition and our star transport leaves in a couple of hours. I don't have time to do it properly and I don't think that my boyfriend Mike would approve. Bob, I would like you to meet Mike. He's right behind you.”
I turned to see one of the biggest, most powerfully built men I had ever met. A tic is larger than a croc and a croc is bigger than a ghoul. Compared to a ghoul, Mike was on the small side. Compared to other men, he was huge. Mike tried to put his huge hands on my shoulders, but I moved aside and he missed. Not my special ability kicking in, just me making a lucky move.
Dr Carroll smiled at us both. “Mike I would like you to meet Bob. He’s a licensed Ghoul Hunter.”
“A ghoul hunter huh,” Mike said with obvious distaste.
I smiled my friendliest smile and stuck out my hand. “I prefer to think of myself as working in interplanetary pest control. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too, now get out before I break both your legs,” Mike said while ignoring my outstretched hand. Mike’s tone was designed to make most men break and run and a part of me really wanted to. I just couldn't do it without saying anything.
“No need to get huffy, I'm going,” I said quietly.
“Move faster or I will rip off your arm and beat you to death with it,” Mike told me.
“Why don't you just try it and get this over with,” I replied, my anger starting to get in the way.
Dr Carroll jumped up and said, “Don't hurt him.”
In perfect unison we both turned and said, “I won't hurt him.”
“Are you trying to be funny?” Mike said.
“You have to admit it is a little funny,” I said and I meant it.
“Do you want to die?” Mike asked flatly.
“Do you?” I replied.
“Mike, you can't hurt him,” Dr. Carroll said calmly. “He saved my life. A croc had its foot on my chest and was about to cut off my head when Bob got in the way. Bob took a nasty cut that could have killed him to save me.”
“Is that true?” Mike asked.
“Do you want to see the scar?” I asked Mike in return.
The expression on Mike's face changed and he took my hand in both of his. “I want to thank you for that. I can't imagine a universe without Dr Carroll in it.”
“I couldn't let her die,” I said with all my heart.
Dr Carroll picked up her bag and put it over her shoulder. “If you two want to spend some time alone, I could leave.”
“Now get out!” Mike yelled as he threw down my hand.
“I apologize for the intrusion. I hope we meet another time Dr Carroll.”
“Get