HOW A SINGLE MOTHER’S STRENGTH TURNED A BOY INTO A MAN
By Reco McDaniel
The Fatherless Father
Copyright © 2012, by Reco McDaniel
Published in eBook format by Reco McDaniel
Converted by http://www.eBookIt.com
ISBN-13: 978-0-9887342-1-0
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, transmitted, or distributed in any form or by any means without the written permission of the publisher.
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“What happens to us does not determine where we end up in life. It’s how we react to what happens to us. That will determine our future.”
-Reco McDaniel
Family
God’s Greatest Gift
Thank you Shanee’, Reco Jr., and Raegan for supporting and loving me through it all.
I love you!
Dedication
July 21, 1962 – July 31, 2011
I would like to dedicate this book to the only father I knew for the first 30 years of my life – my mother, Deborah Ann Watson.
If I could define strength, tenacity, independence, determination, hardworking, persistence, and resolve in one word it would be simply – Momma. I owe mostly everything I know and my life today to you! I love you!
Until we meet again…
Momma’s foundation to her strength
Footprints in the Sand
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there were one set of footprints.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.
So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?"
The Lord replied,
"The times when you have seen only one set of footprints is when I carried you."
-Author Unknown
Introduction
“A man can be as great as he wants to be. If you believe in yourself and have the courage, the determination, the dedication, the competitive drive, and if you are willing to sacrifice the little things in life and pay the price for the things that are worthwhile, it can be done.”
–Vince Lombardi, Legendary Football Coach
When I first set out to write this book, I wanted to create a simple tale about my life—a way for people to know about my trials and tribulations, how I overcame certain challenges in my life, and how these tests turned me into the man I am today. By doing so, I figured this would allow the reader to gain a better understanding of my upbringing, which, ultimately, would inspire them to live a better life.
However, I soon began to realize that this book needed more substance than that. It needed to allow the reader to truly understand that their struggles were once my own and that it is possible to overcome their issues. There are many people walking around the world at this very moment who feel like they’re alone… that their life obstacles are shared with no one else. This creates a sense of loneliness with countless people around the world. Just think about it. How many people do you know that are struggling to make ends meet? How many single mothers do you know who are working three jobs, barely keeping enough food on the table for her family, and genuinely trying to ensure that her children are cared for, even though it seems like an impossible task as she drags herself out of bed at 5 a.m. every morning? I’m sure you know a child who is angry at the world because he or she feels as though no one understands what they’re feeling on the inside and how their resentment is caused by feelings of neglect or not obtaining enough love from their parents. We all know these stories. I wanted to make it my mission to help address them through my story.
I travel around the country meeting thousands of people each year, many of whom ask me “How can I live a better life?” or “How were you able to operate at the level you’re at right now when the beginning of your life didn’t seem so promising?” I often have to take a step back and really think about how my story can help alter the way one sees their circumstances, which, in the end, can help change the way they see themselves and the world around them. The conclusion I’ve come to is this: We all have different stories that start off differently and will end differently. However, there are similarities and shared experiences that we can piece together with one another, mainly to show we are going through the same tests, and we can learn through one another, especially if it can help the end result be positive.
In the end, I hope this book inspires young mothers, young fathers, single parents, teenage boys, runaways, fatherless fathers, and a multitude of other groups to understand that just because your story started out rough, it doesn’t mean it will end that way. I have faith that it will allow you to see that the world holds many positive experiences and possibilities for you, but you won’t ever be able to see them unless you’ve got the right mindset, the will to work hard, and the passion to follow your dreams.
The following pages will give you frank and upfront recollections of my past, my present, and my future. My past allowed me to appreciate my present life. My present life allows me to have hope for myself, my family, and for future generations. I am optimistic this hope will inspire the same in you.
Chapter 1 – Feelings of the Fatherless
“You might be locked in a world not of your own making, her eyes said, but you still have a claim on how it is shaped. You still have responsibilities.”
–Barack Obama, Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance
Picture this: A 6’1” black man sprinting