SHADOWS
of the CROSS
A Christian Companion to Facing the Shadow
CRAIG S. CASHWELL, PhD, PENNIE K. JOHNSON, LPC,
AND PATRICK J. CARNES, PhD
Gentle Path Press
P.O. Box 3172
Carefree, AZ 85377
Copyright © 2015 by Gentle Path Press
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be used or reproduced, stored or entered into a retrieval system, transmitted, photocopied, recorded, or otherwise reproduced in any form by any mechanical or electronic means, without the prior written permission of the authors, and Gentle Path Press, except for brief quotations used in articles and reviews.
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ISBN: 978-1-940467-02-3
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Editor's note:
All the stories in this book are based on actual experiences. The names and details have been changed to protect the privacy of the people involved. In some cases, composites have been created.
ADVANCE PRAISE FOR SHADOWS OF THE CROSS
Having led Christian-based support groups for more than 10 years and provided clinical services for sexual addition for 15 years, I have walked alongside hundreds of men and women who grappled with the question, Can I be a follower of Christ and struggle with sexual addiction? Whereas I have used several texts along the way, none have been as comprehensive and experiential as the one you now hold in your hands. Shadows of the Cross will be an invaluable resource for your personal journey (as well as helping others) along the gentle path to sexual sobriety and graceful living.
W. Bryce Hagedorn, PhD, LMHC, NCC, MAC, QCS President of the Association for Spiritual, Ethical, & Religious Values in Counseling (ASERVIC)
Shadows of the Cross stands to powerfully impact the Christian community the way Facing the Shadow has done for thousands who have struggled with sex addiction. I heartily endorse this much needed spiritual resource if you are a believer who wants solid results in your recovery.
Dr. Ken McGill, LMFT, CSAT, clinician and author of the Cultivating Love book series
Shadows of the Cross beautifully displays the healing aspects of prayer, meditation, and Bible study while in the early stages of recovery from sex addiction. The authors expertly weave in modern day stories that capture the essence of classic Biblical stories that are sure to inspire and strengthen faith. Christians new to recovery will treasure the message shared in Shadows of the Cross that God is the ultimate supporter of their recovery.
Stefanie Carnes, PhD, author of Mending a Shattered Heart: A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts, Facing Addiction: Starting Recovery from Alcohol and Drugs, and Facing Heartbreak: Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts
One of the passions of my professional life has been to integrate sound theology and biblical truths with treating addictions. Shadows of the Cross does this extremely well. As a Christian minister, psychologist, and certified sex addiction therapist, I am grateful for this new resource which can be helpful to therapists, clients, and to anyone who is open to a faith based foundation for therapy. The suggestions are very practical, therapeutically intuitive, and "doable."
Ralph H. Earle, M.Div., PhD, ABPP, CSAT
After providing Christian based treatment for sexual addiction since the mid 1990s, I believe that sex addiction is the addiction of choice among Christians. For years Christian clients and clinicians alike have begged for clinically sound materials that speak from their spiritual belief system. Shadows of the Cross combines the proven worth of the Thirty Task Model with the truth and language of scripture. Using the parables of Jesus and other passages, this much needed resource is a treasure that multiplies the blessings of both clinical excellence and the healing of the Great Physician. I'm thrilled to recommend Shadows of the Cross to every Christian client and counselor.
Marnie C. Ferree, MA, LMFT, CSAT, director of Bethesda Workshops in Nashville, TN and author of No Stones—Women Redeemed from Sexual Addiction
Shadows of the Cross is a treasure chock full of biblical gems that will give Christians the confidence to embark on a path of recovery. The authors have masterfully woven the Twelve Steps into theological precepts illuminating a path for how to achieve a healthy sexuality while in recovery from sex addiction. Therapists who read this book will learn how to implement new ways of working with the process of recovery or risk trying interventions they had previously been unsure of. I highly recommend this book.
Alexandra Katehakis, Founder & Clinical Director, Center for Healthy Sex and author of Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Meditations on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence and Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery From Sex Addiction
Shadows of the Cross does an incredible job of blending biblical truth and Bible stories with Patrick Carnes' Thirty Task Model for sexual addiction recovery. As a result, readers will be able to integrate their faith in Christ with recovery thus empowering them to live in freedom from enslaving behavior. I am very excited to have this recovery tool and will use it to help my clients deepen their recovery as they walk with God. This is a "must read" for Christians struggling with sexual addiction as well as the helping professionals who work with them.
N. Ben Licata, MSW, LCSW, CSAT-S, Lighthouse Counseling Center
So many Christians ask if the Twelve Steps can be considered biblical. Shadows of the Cross shows how you can utilize scripture with the Twelve Steps as part of your comprehensive approach toward healing and wholeness. The authors have broken new ground while providing a much needed pathway of healing for Christian sex addicts. Having worked with sex addicts in both the civilian and military environment, Shadows of the Cross is a much needed resource. Chaplains, pastors, Christian counselors, and others now have a tool and roadmap for Christian sex addicts on their journey to wholeness and faith formation.
John O Lundin, Chaplain, Colonel USAF (Ret)/Reverend John O Lundin, Senior Pastor, Hope Lutheran Church, ELCA
Preface
Getting the Most from This Book
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
JEREMIAH 29:11
We do not presume to know with any detail what God's plan is for you today and the remaining days of your life. If you have started to read this book, however, we assume you are struggling with your sexual behavior. As a Christian, you may feel a great deal of shame and be weighed down by regrets of what you have done and the consequences experienced by you and those you love. You may be in emotional turmoil, struggling to make sense of what this means and where to turn next. While we admit that we do not know God's plan for your life, we know what it is not. You should not spend the rest of your days ensnared in the trap of addictive sexual behavior. Jeremiah 29:11 promises that God has plans for your life that will give you hope and a future.
The Blessings of Recovery—Psychological and Spiritual
Whether you feel hope in this moment or whether your thoughts about the future leave you terrified, take comfort in knowing that God desires that you live a sexually healthy life. The most common word used to describe the process you are now undertaking is "recovery." As you go through this process, you will grow to realize the