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Who are you? What changes would you like to make? What would you like to keep the same?
This book will help you find the secrets of your innermost self. Following a set of practical exercises you'll discover the actual traits that make you unique. Then you will evaluate those traits to decide if your profile represents your ideal self— the self you seek to be.
KNOWING YOURSELF...OR NOT explains: What makes you special.
What makes you not so special. Why you act the way you do. How you like to be treated.
Which settings make you most comfortable.
Personal traits that may be limiting your success.
You will learn more about your most valuable asset—YOU. Your expectations may include:
Increased sense of purpose Realistic self-expectations
More rewarding decision-making Improved relationships with other people Understanding some of your past behavior
Knowing Yourself...
Or Not
by
Marti Eicholz
Copyright 2015 Marti Eicholz,
All rights reserved.
Published in eBook format by eBookIt.com
ISBN-13: 978-1-4566-2570-2
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.
INTRODUCTION
“Know thyself.”
This simple admonition was inscribed in the Temple of Apollo at Delphi in Ancient Greece. Plato attributed these same words to the Seven Wise Men in Protagoras around 400 BC. Today, almost two-and-a-half millennia later, individuals still seek the key to understanding themselves.
Why are we such mysteries to ourselves? How can we be so blind to our own failings, and yet so quick to see the faults of others? Why do we blunder into circumstances that many around us see as futile—yet we are convinced they are for our own highest good?
It seems the quest for self knowledge is a part of the human condition. The psyche intrigues us, yet we know so little about it. We wonder why others react to life’s situations differently than we do.
Have you ever heard someone say “I need to be true to myself” or “I want to be the person I really am deep down inside”?
One of the most courageous actions you can take to create a happier, more fulfilling life is to become more familiar with the real—or inner—you. Identify your natural characteristics and strengths, your hopes and dreams, and the gifts you have to share with others.
Most of us are very busy juggling all the day-to-day activities of modern living: work, family, and friends. Because we’re so busy, we never seem to get around to making the changes we believe will help us feel more fulfilled and happy.
Take a moment to ask yourself a few thought-provoking questions about your life:
•Are you happy in your job? Do you have dreams of making a career change that would lead you toward a more fulfilling direction?
•How are your personal relationships? Have you been meaning to make time to work on your marriage or to build a better rapport with your kids? Maybe you know you need to end a relationship or want to start a new one, but the months fly by without anything happening.
•What about your outside interests? Do you schedule time for hobbies, classes and activities that enrich your life; or do you find that there’s never enough time for that sort of thing?
•Is your life headed in the general direction you want it to take, or does it seem as if you’re overdue for some major course adjustments?
If your life isn’t exactly on track at the moment, you can look at how you’d like things to change and start taking small but steady steps toward a new beginning.
“What lies behind and what lies before you are tiny matters compared to what lies within you.”— Ralph Waldo Emerson
We find the four “cornerstone” behavioral traits — Dominance, Extroversion, Patience and Structure — useful in helping people identify the driving forces behind their behaviors. We all have these traits within ourselves to one degree or another. What’s more, they constantly work to determine how we act, or react, to life’s ongoing challenges.
As we explore these traits, consider your predominant trait, as well as which of the other traits actively determine your reactions to life. Think about whether they contribute in a positive or negative manner to your life and how they might help or hinder your progress.
Although a complex web of factors determines each person’s behavior, there are certain traits that create predictable “constellations” of feelings and behavioral patterns. To understand what makes us tick, learn what these traits are and how to recognize them.
An important thing to remember about behavioral traits is that there’s nothing “good” or “bad” about any of them. Behavioral traits just are. Once we understand and accept ours without judgment, we can begin to make informed decisions about how we want them to influence our lives.
We applaud you for embarking on your journey of self-awareness. It promises to be challenging and rewarding. So take a deep breath, relax, and leap in. You are about to discover the power of your personal potential!
Part One
TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELF
This work revolves around helping you achieve more self-awareness, happiness and fulfillment through the lens of behavioral science and the four behavioral traits: Dominance, Extroversion, Patience and Structure. Learning about these four behavioral traits will give you important insights into your behavior and the behavior of other people.
Behaviors are the thoughts and actions that we engage in throughout our day: every idea, word, gesture, reaction, and emotion we experience. Behaviors represent the choices that we make each and every waking moment of our lives.
Briefly, these traits are characterized as follows:
•Dominance - the amount of control you like to exert over your environment.
•Extroversion - the amount of social contact you require to feel comfortable.
•Patience - the pace at which you prefer to live life.
•Structure - the amount of order you seek in your life.
EACH INDIVIDUAL HAS A UNIQUE COMBINATION OF TRAITS THAT INFLUENCE HIS OR HER ATTITUDES AND ACTIONS.
As you learn more about the characteristics of these four behavioral traits, you may view both yourself and others differently. You begin by learning about your own behavioral traits. Then you combine an understanding of yourself with an ability to recognize various characteristics in other people’s behavior.
As you will see, everyone possesses a certain amount of each of the four behavioral traits. The strength of each trait (its presence or absence) determines a great deal about your behavior: how you relate to others, what type of job best suits you, whether you are outgoing or shy, how well you tolerate rules, and whether you are comfortable with careful planning or spontaneity.
Understand