Sister Lilian’s
Babycare
companion
Human & Rousseau
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Author’s Introduction
Parenthood can seem a daunting prospect. You may feel a little apprehensive about becoming a parent; after all, there’s no going back once you have brought a new little being into the world. Looking on the bright side more often, however, and taking more time to delight in the many positive moments of parenting, will all make it seem a lot less challenging. We live in a time of great change. Society has undergone a radical transformation, and situations and attitudes are no longer the same as they were in our parents’ day. Consider just some of these developments:
•The need for both parents to work outside the home
•The lack of immediate support to hand
•The many external influences to which our children are subject because we no longer live in close-knit communities
•The discipline dilemmas of an age when rigid authoritarianism is frowned upon, yet liberalism seems to backfire.
All this sounds terribly theoretical, but what it boils down to is parents being confronted on a daily basis with worries, concerns and workloads that are often beyond the reasonable ability of any person. What do you do if your little one is ill and the crèche doesn’t take sick children, or you have a pressing work engagement and granny is in another city? How do you react if you are a single parent and the other parent assumes ‘Father Christmas’ status, leaving you with a discipline problem after every visit? Will you ever survive the broken nights and the pressure the clinic sister, your mom and mom-in-law are putting on you to get your child sleeping through in his or her own room? Is there even the remotest chance that you will have any semblance of a good relationship with your partner ever again?
In the face of such an overwhelmingly challenging landscape, there is only one solution: to come up with creative, lateral thinking, innovative and sometimes downright old-fashioned ideas. If you, Mom and Dad, are willing to do this, I can assure you that the process will become a great deal less painful, and simultaneously the happiness that follows will fuel your energy levels and remain with you as a legacy of joy and an abundant source of wonderful memories of this special phase in your life.
So, don’t wish the young years past, and don’t try to sidestep every possible nuance of parenting. Instead, remind yourself of the many, many others who have survived the experience. Follow the advice suggested in this guide, to help you deal happily with parenting challenges, from babyhood until well into the toddler years.
Sister Lilian
One
Mother and Baby’s First Year in Broad Focus
The First Two Weeks
It is quite normal to feel overwhelmed and anxious in the early days of life with a baby. This is a challenging job but one that you will manage well if you listen to that little inner voice drawing on age-old wisdom and maternal instinct. Soon things will settle down and you will not be able to imagine life without your baby!
DAY ONE
The first 24 hours of life with a baby is a momentous and magical time. All you want to do is gaze at and touch this little being, drinking in every detail, watching in fascination as he or she unfolds and smoothes out, the skin becoming perfect and unmottled. Baby will open her eyes and gaze right back at you if the lights are not too bright. You might well feel on a hormonal high, quite unable to sleep, although that is all you thought you’d be able to do after the birth! Take each moment as it comes, rest with Baby tucked up close and congratulate yourself on a task well done.
About Baby
•Baby’s genitals and breasts are often swollen for a week or so after birth. This is no reason for concern but simply a reaction to the hormones of pregnancy.
•Baby will either sleep a lot or look around in puzzlement at the big wide world today.
•Baby will pass sticky green-black stools a few times – this is the meconium that has filled the bowel during pregnancy. It is best cleaned using baby oil first and then washing the buttocks with soapy water.
•Unless you or Baby are not well, rooming-in from the first moment helps you to understand your baby far better.
Nursing
BOY OR GIRL?
To avoid the cumbersome ‘he or she’ and ‘his or her’ in every instance to acknowledge that you child may be of either sex, ‘he’ and ‘she’ will be used alternately throughout the different sections of this book.
•Put Baby to breast as soon as possible after birth to ensure the best possible start to breastfeeding – if this is done in the first two hours, all future feeds will be easier.
•Express a drop or two of milk so the Baby can smell where to latch onto.
•Ensure that Baby latches on well to prevent sore nipples. Hold her body so that she faces you – not on her back with her neck having to strain at an angle to latch. Touch her lips and cheeks with your nipple to elicit the rooting reflex, and pull down on her chin with your finger so that her mouth opens wide enough.
•The first few sucks may be painful but should pass soon and then be totally painless. If sucking remains painful, place your finger in the corner of the mouth and twist to break suction, then reposition Baby.
•Do not time feeds but allow Baby to suck as long as there is no pain and you notice strong rhythmic movements of the jaws and hear swallowing sounds.
•Baby might suck frequently or seldom today. This depends on many factors like medication during labour, length of labour and size of Baby.
•Do not offer bottles of water or formula unless medically necessary (for example, the baby of a diabetic mom) and ask for a convincing explanation if you are advised to supplement feed, as this can alter the successful outcome of nursing.
•Check the breastfeeding section for more detailed early nursing advice.
Tips for Mom
•Rest often today but wiggle your toes and feet to promote circulation.
•Bath or shower some time after the birth and wear a pretty nightgown to help you feel on top of the world.
•Take Rescue Birth & Recovery tablets to speed healing and Arnica D6 homeopathic tablets every two hours today to reduce swelling after vaginal and Caesarean birth.
•For the first day or two wear a newborn disposable nappy or a special postnatal sanitary towel inside firm, comfortable briefs to cope with lochia, the bleeding after birth.
•Expect contractions of your womb every time your baby starts feeding, for the first three days. These are a little painful, but do not last for the whole feed and serve the very useful purpose of contracting the womb to help reduce bleeding.
•When passing urine, sit on the toilet facing the cistern and pour over a jug of warm water to prevent burning.
•Use a bidet after visiting the toilet to prevent