Praise for Tears to Triumph
“To be able to share in these powerful experiences of triumphant women is a gift to any man that has ever loved a woman.”
—NFL legend and commentator Eddie George
“Tears to Triumph gives us the golden lesson of life; adversity is not about failure, instead, it should be transformed into a spring board for success.”
—America’s Psychologist Dr. Jeff Gardere
“These stories show us that when we think we are experiencing the worst of what life has to offer, we may be actually experiencing the best of life! Tears to Triumph makes it clear that lessons that are learned from going through those trials prepare us for the next level that God had in store for us.”
—Alabama State Representative Merika Coleman
“This book goes a long way toward helping us better understand how our pain and not just our successes makes us stronger, better and renewed.”
—Dr. Rahn Kennedy Bailey, chair of psychiatry at Meharry Medical School
ALSO AVAILABLE
Souls of My Sisters
Souls Revealed
It Happened in Church
He’s Gone…You’re Back
Published by Kensington Publishing Corp.
Tears to TRIUMPH
Women Learn to Live, Love, and Thrive
DAWN MARIE DANIELS, CANDACE SANDY, and DR. JARRALYNNE AGEE
We dedicate this book to God and to the women who are harvesting their power so they can grow in the face of their adversity.
Contents
Foreword
Acknowledgments
Introduction
I. Why Do We Cry?
1. Dr. Sharron Herron-Williams—Prayers for Whittaker
2. Seanette Vaughan—When I’m Gone, You’re Gonna Miss Me
3. Sheila Curry Oakes—Everyone Deserves the Right One
II. Creating Purposeful Tears
4. Courtney J. George—The Science of Hope
III. Prosper Through Change
5. Roberta Ham Walker, Ph.D.—Repositioning
6. Yetta Young—All the World’s a Stage and We Are the Cast
7. Laverne Monique Ballard—Looking for Home
IV. Defining Triumph
8. Dr. Yvonne Love—The Bruised Fruit That Fell from the Tree
9. Mary Beth Armstrong—Breast Cancer Just Hurts
V. Creating a Shift
10. Patrina Lee—A Mother at War
11. Debbie Heyer—Who Would Want Me?
12. Crystal Dwyer—The Toughest Decision I Ever Had to Make
13. Loán Sewer—Sometimes Self-Love Is at the Root of It All
14. Dr. Louise Tarver Jackson—The Value of Our Sister’s Soul
15. Sandy Sandler—Abra Bowdabra
VI. Turning Personal Trials to Triumph
16. Anaye Akanke—The Cost of Pain, the Price of Redemption
17. Dana Gibbs—Love It Away
18. Florence Fisher Lacy—The Strength of a Man
VII. The Faith of a Triumphant Woman
19. Rhonda Stanford—Confession Is Good for the Soul
20. Carole St. Claire Richards—Building on Faith
21. Julie Woods—Surviving to Thriving
22. Francyne Ellison—Love Really Matters
VIII. Making the Most of Your Transformation
23. Annette Sym—The Tears Came Down and the Weight Came Off
24. Melanie Berry—A Decision for Me
25. Shari Addison—Dreams Have No Expiration Dates
26. Aliyyah Baylor—Are You Ready?
Resource Guide
Foreword
Over a Way that with Tears Has Been Watered
By Dr. Julianne Malveaux
When Bennett Belles cross the stage to receive their diplomas on graduation day, it is exhilarating to watch their expressions and compare them to the expressions their faces have held at other times in their academic careers. Most cross the stage with expressions of unmitigated joy, and yet many cannot hold back tears that are often tears of joy and pain, tears that track years of challenge and success, of struggle and overcoming, of triumph over adversity.
Half of our students are first generation, and their families don’t understand their academic lives and victories. When they look to loved ones for support, they sometimes find puzzlement instead. There have been times at Bennett when they have cried tears of frustration, and on graduation day their tears are of triumph.
Other students have put their whole souls into their work, stayed up all night to finish papers, passed up a social event to study, and cried at the effort required to meet their requirements. Now, on graduation day, their tears are the sweet relief of “a job well done.” Their hard work has been rewarded by graduate school acceptances, internship opportunities, and job offers. They are crying tears of triumph.
In writing about graduation tears, I am not portraying Bennett Belles as crybabies. Shedding tears is human and part of the full range of emotional expression. Tears represent fullness, frustration, grief, relief, joy, and so many more emotions. A friend of mine says that tears are your face leaking when your emotions are too full for your body to contain. In watching women cry, and in participating with tears of my own, I identify with the notion that tears are simply overflow, release, a way to let it out. There is no shame, but instead a freedom, that comes from the release of crying.
Dawn Marie Daniels, Candace Sandy, and Dr. Jarralynne Agee have explored tears through the stories of women who have moved from tears to triumph. Their thoughtful, inspirational, and motivational work explores some of the challenges that women face, the tears they shed, and the way they have used their tears, an expression of their pain, to take them to another level. In some of the stories they share, tears both soothe pain and water dreams. How else could Dr. Sharron Herron-Williams use the pain of the loss of her baby girl Whittaker to start an organization to help others who lose newborns? Her grieving tears watered a powerful tree that has provided shade for others in pain.
Tears, then, can be a bridge to transformation from victim to victory. We cry when we experience losses, and we triumph when we use our experiences to strengthen ourselves and to help others. Tears to Triumph examines the possibility of turning pain into power, of using pain to shape us, craft us, build us into stronger and more productive human beings. Through these interviews, analysis, and work tools, the authors ask what role obstacles and challenges play in our development.
The only constant