Outstanding praise for Rich Merritt and SECRETS OF A GAY MARINE PORN STAR
“Merritt’s sincerity and his willingness to scrutinize himself on the pages wins out in the end.”
—Just Out (Portland, Oregon)
“Secrets of a Gay Marine Porn Star covers a spectacularly diverse life.”
—XY magazine (San Diego, California)
“An engaging, intriguing read.”
—Gay People’s Chronicle (Cleveland, Ohio)
“An engagingly enthusiastic memoir…Merritt clearly cherished his military service and his memoir makes a strong case that gays ought to be able to serve honorably and openly.”
—Bookmarks/Q Syndicate
“In a society where honesty is not always the best policy and information can lead to power, what is one to do when his suspect past comes back to haunt him? Rich Merritt brilliantly tackles this subject in his insightful memoir. Merritt’s voice is as stalwart as his military demeanor; his story, as gripping as any bestselling fiction novel. Secrets of a Gay Marine Porn Star establishes an edge to the memoir genre.”
—X Factor Magazine
“Well worth a read.”
—HX Magazine
“Rich Merritt writes an honest, inspiring, sexy, funny, and courageous story. It is filled with insights into military life and the workings of the media, but what truly resonates is the account of one man’s journey to self-acceptance and the welcoming, joyous embrace of gay culture.”
—William J. Mann, author of All American Boy
More praise for Secrets of a Gay Marine Porn Star!
“Inspiring, thought-provoking, and brutally honest, Rich Merritt’s story is much more than that of a Marine who found himself at the center of a political firestorm. It is the story of a young man’s coming of age, of the hypocrisy of the gay media and political organizations, and, ultimately, of what it means to come to terms with who you are while being pulled in multiple directions.”
—Michael Thomas Ford, author of Changing Tides
“This is a timely and powerful memoir, an eye-opening survey of wildly incompatible worlds including Bob Jones University, the gay Marine underground, the porn industry, and the circuit party ghetto. At a moment when our country has fallen prey to the lure of various fundamentalisms, this book issues a compelling indictment of what its author calls ‘the internal tyranny of fundamentalist dogma.’ Secrets of a Gay Marine Porn Star spellbindingly charts a young man’s perilous journey from the iron-clad, killing certainties of his upbringing to adulthood’s hard-won self-acceptance and compassion. Rich Merritt writes incisively and, indeed, often quite sexily about a life of closets, confusion and, finally, the great courage of his convictions.”
—Paul Russell, author of War Against the Animals and The Coming Storm
CODE OF CONDUCT
RICH MERRITT
In honor of
all who have served in the armed forces
of the United States of America,
including the lesbians and gay men.
You know who you are—
so should everyone else.
We shall be remembered
We few
We happy few
We band of brothers.
For he today that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother.
—William Shakespeare,
Henry V (paraphrased)
Contents
Prologue
Part One: Winter Winds
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Part Two: May Gray
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Epilogue
Afterword and Acknowledgments
Prologue
Clinton Reaffirms Campaign Promise To End Military’s Ban on Gays
By Kathryn Angel, Washington Herald
LITTLE ROCK, ARKANSAS, November 12, 1992—In his first major policy address to the nation since his election last week, President-elect Bill Clinton today reiterated his campaign promise to issue an executive order overturning Department of Defense Directive 1332.14, which bans homosexuals from the military. Directive 1332.14 states:
Homosexuality is incompatible with military service. The presence in the military environment of persons who engage in homosexual conduct or who, by their statements, demonstrate a propensity to engage in homosexual conduct, seriously impairs the accomplishment of the military mission. The presence of such members adversely affects the ability of the armed forces to maintain discipline, good order, and morale; to foster mutual trust and confidence among service members; to ensure the integrity of the system of rank and command; to facilitate assignment and worldwide deployment of service members who frequently must live and work in close conditions affording minimal privacy; to recruit and retain members of the armed forces; to maintain the public acceptability of military service; and to prevent breaches of security.
Governor Clinton delivered a Veterans Day speech today and afterwards told reporters he has no intention of backing away from his controversial pledge to allow gays and lesbians to serve openly in the military.