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First published in Great Britain 2018
by Egmont UK Limited
The Yellow Building, 1 Nicholas Road, London W11 4AN
Published by arrangement with Little, Brown and company,
a division of Hachette Book Group inc., New York, New York, USA
Text and inside illustrations © 2018 Neil Patrick Harris
Story illustrations by Lissy Marlin
How-to illustrations by Kyle Hilton
The moral rights of the author and illustrator have been asserted
First e-book edition 2018
ISBN 978 1 4052 9063 0
Ebook ISBN 978 1 7803 1840 0
A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
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To Harper and Gideon,
because the latter was listed first
in the previous book
and the former was far from pleased.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
ONE—the first one, the second time. Because this is the second book
THREE—the first one after the second
FIVE—this is how many fingers I have on my right hand. Not really important here, though
SIX—if you multiply the 2nd chapter by the 3rd, you’d get this one
SEVEN—this one is after that one
EIGHT—this one is before the next one
NINE—is anyone still reading these?
TEN—this is the number of all my fingers! Again, not really relevant
ELEVEN—or 2 in Roman numerals, but that’s confusing
TWELVE—there are this many royals in a deck of cards
THIRTEEN—number of cards in a suit
FOURTEEN—you’ll find this one on page 134
FIFTEEN—why isn’t it five-teen? I’ve always wondered
SIXTEEN—again, are you still reading these?
SEVENTEEN—lots of e’s in seventeen
EIGHTEEN—when you say this out loud, sometimes people think you are saying eighty
NINETEEN—can you imagine if there were eighty chapters?
TWENTY—that would be about fifty chapters too many
TWENTY-ONE—this is the official adult chapter
TWENTY-TWO—a number so nice, they named it twice
TWENTY-THREE—yeesh, did we have this many chapters last time?
TWENTY-FOUR—this just seems excessive
TWENTY-FIVE—uuuughhhhhh
TWENTY-SIX—oh wait—this one is cool. Twenty-six is the number of red cards in a deck. So that’s cool
TWENTY-SEVEN—or twenty-seven, if you count the joker
TWENTY-EIGHT—wait, is the joker red?
TWENTY-NINE—I looked it up – sometimes
THIRTY!—the last chapter! Made it. Whew. Now turn the page already!
NOTHING TO SEE HERE...
A PROMISE TO RETURN
WHAT’S MORSE CODE?
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
ABOUT THE AUTHOR