Like a Boy but Not a Boy. Andrea Bennett

       like a boy but not a boy

       like aboybut nota boy

       Navigating Life, MentalHealth, and Parenthoodoutside the Gender Binary

       andrea bennett

      LIKE A BOY BUT NOT A BOY

      Copyright © 2020 by andrea bennett

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any part by any means—graphic, electronic, or mechanical—without the prior written permission of the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may use brief excerpts in a review, or in the case of photocopying in Canada, a licence from Access Copyright.

      ARSENAL PULP PRESS

      Suite 202 – 211 East Georgia St.

      Vancouver, BC V6A 1Z6 Canada

       arsenalpulp.com

      The publisher gratefully acknowledges the support of the Canada Council for the Arts and the British Columbia Arts Council for its publishing program, and the Government of Canada, and the Government of British Columbia (through the Book Publishing Tax Credit Program), for its publishing activities.

      Arsenal Pulp Press acknowledges the x^wməθk^wəəm (Musqueam), Sḵwx̲wú7mesh (Squamish), and səilwətaʔɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations, custodians of the traditional, ancestral, and unceded territories where our office is located. We pay respect to their histories, traditions, and continuous living cultures and commit to accountability, respectful relations, and friendship.

      “Like a Boy but Not a Boy” was included in the anthology Swelling with Pride, edited by Sara Graefe (Halfmoon Bay, BC: Caitlin Press, 2018); “Mom, Dad, Other” was published as “I’m a Non-Binary Parent. There Still Isn’t Space for Me,” Xtra, May 10, 2019; “On Class and Writing” was published as “The Year in Work,” Hazlitt, December 9, 2015; and “Tomboy” was published as “The In-Between Space,” Hazlitt, September 18, 2018.

      Gwendolyn MacEwen’s “Certain Flowers” copyright © to the estate of Gwendolyn MacEwen. Permission to reprint lines from this poem provided by David MacKinnon, executor for the estate of Gwendolyn MacEwen.

      Cover and text design by Jazmin Welch

      Edited by Shirarose Wilensky

      Proofread by Alison Strobel

      Printed and bound in Canada

      Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication:

      Title: Like a boy but not a boy : navigating life, mental health, and parenthood outside the gender binary / andrea bennett.

      Names: Bennett, Andrea (Andrea Kathleen), author.

      Identifiers: Canadiana (print) 20200211609 | Canadiana (ebook) 20200211692 | ISBN 9781551528212 (softcover) | ISBN 9781551528229 (HTML)

      Subjects: LCSH: Bennett, Andrea (Andrea Kathleen) | LCSH: Gender-nonconforming people. | LCSH: Gender identity. | LCSH: Gender nonconformity. | LCSH: Gender-nonconforming people—Mental health. | LCSH: Sexual minority parents. | LCSH: Parenthood. | LCGFT: Essays.

      Classification: LCC HQ18.55 .B46 2020 | DDC 305.3—dc23

      CONTENTS

       INTRODUCTION

       1. TOMBOY

       david

       john

       2. LIVING WITH DEATH

       erika

       3. ON BEING BIPOLAR

       deneige

       april

       4. LIKE A BOY BUT NOT A BOY

       jane

       jamie

       5. DEATH AND BIRTH

       erin

       6. MILK AND TIME

       kai

       7. ON CLASS AND WRITING

       ben

       8. THE BOTTOMLESS PIT OF SELF-LOATHING / A PEAK

       adam

       9. WHAT I LEARNED TRUEING BIKE WHEELS

       soraya

       10. MOM, DAD, OTHER

       laura

       11. MILK AND GENERATIVENESS

       nadine

       12. THE PEOPLE’S POETRY

       kyle

       rhean

       13. 37 JOBS AND 21 HOUSES

       NOTES

       ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

      INTRODUCTION

      LIKE A BOY