the keys. ‘Now we’ve come this far we might as well go in and see the dereliction inside.’
Instead of the anticipated struggle with a rust encrusted lock, the key turns easily, and the door swings open without a creak. Then as we step into a pale buff hallway filled with splashes of sunlight the familiarity is so jarring my feet stop moving before I’ve stepped off the neat coir door mat.
‘The smell’s just the same. How strange is that?’
Sophie wrinkles her nose and somehow manages not to crash into my back. ‘Fresh salty air … and the beeswax on those ancient floor boards?’
My words come slowly, as if I’m dragging them from very far away. ‘With a hint of rosemary and thyme … because that’s what grew in the herb patch at the side of the cottage. They used to mix the leaves into the polish.’ There isn’t time to wonder how I know that because I’m darting forwards again. ‘And there’s the staircase, at the end of the hall.’ Even though I can’t see past the first flight of steps, I already know. ‘On the way to the top floor it winds so tightly the steps run out to nothing at the edge. And there are creaky bits on the landing where the boards groan.’ Like timbers on an old ship. Wasn’t that what Laura used to say?
Sophie’s giving me a searching look. ‘The paintwork’s better in here too. Are we going for a look?’
My diffident shrug is misleading. The weird thing is, I couldn’t stay away now even if I wanted to. I’m trying to play down that there’s an invisible force drawing me upwards. ‘We might as well. Before we do the sensible thing and leave.’ My fingers are already stroking the silky smoothness of the bannister rail.
I wind my way up two floors so fast that by the time Sophie arrives, panting from carrying Maisie, I’m already at the landing window that opens onto the balcony, staring across the expanse of sand to where the sea is glinting way down the beach.
‘I’m ignoring that stupendous view for now. Here you go … flat six.’ Sophie waves another key, and one click later the door on the left of the window is ajar.
I hold my breath as I tiptoe in. Then as I look around at a room crammed with cosy sofas and tables and shelves full of books I let out a gasp. ‘Oh my, the same furniture’s still here, it’s like I’ve flipped back thirty years.’ Whatever I was expecting, it wasn’t to step into a time warp. Although up until this moment, just like with the thyme, and the creaky stairs, I’d mostly forgotten. And obviously now I’m seeing it as an adult, I’m appreciating the whole arty Bohemian patchwork of the room that I never saw as a child. ‘It’s still got the same cosy warmth, but I never realised it was quite this pretty or perfect.’
Sophie’s patting a threadbare silk cushion, and fingering the corner of a stripy crocheted throw. ‘Somehow I assumed it would be empty. We were wrong about the magnolia too.’
I’m blinking at the paint colours. There’s raspberry and peacock and emerald and purple and orange and turquoise, although they’re so worn and faded they merge like a water colour painting. ‘It’s like someone’s tried every sample pot in the range.’ Although that’s wrong, because every clash works perfectly. I push through a scuffed turquoise door into a tiny hall and on into the next room, where the paint I can see in the gaps between an entire wall of pictures is shades of cerise.
Sophie follows me, nodding. ‘Antique pink for the bedroom, you can’t argue with that. And a high painted brass bedstead covered in silk quilts, how comfy does that look?’
I’m with her on that but I don’t reply because I’ve already moved on to the bathroom. I let out a cry when I see the freestanding bath, then smile at the high cistern hanging on the wall above the loo. ‘I had to climb up on a stool to pull that chain, and then run like the wind because the flush sounds like thunder. And those claws on the bath feet used to give me goosebumps.’ We pass another smaller greener box room, and go back through to the living room.
Sophie’s shaking her head in awe at the mismatched rugs. ‘This makes me want to ditch neutral and be more adventurous with colour.’ Her farmhouse is a mix of understated taste and expensive perfection, all in tones of white. Understandably, it took her and Nate years of effort and shit loads of cash to achieve. It probably only looks so beautiful and effortless and calming and uncluttered because every last knob, cushion and curtain tie has had the arse designed off it. ‘So what haven’t we seen yet?’
My hand’s already on the door knob at the other end of the living room. ‘I think this must be the kitchen.’ Then, as I go in and take in the shelves filled with bowls and bright coloured plates and mugs and dishes, and the rows of hanging saucepans over the range cooker, it hits me. ‘I know what’s missing here today. Laura loved to cook, so the flat was always filled with the smell of fresh baking.’
Sophie shifts Maisie onto her other hip, and leans across the windowsill to peep through one of the round topped windows. ‘Amazing, you can see all the way to the houses at the end of St Aidan bay from here.’ She turns to the rectangular table, squeezed in the centre. ‘And look at those mismatched chairs and those fabulous patterned tiles by the sink.’
I can’t help grinning. ‘George mentioned it was worn out, but you have to love the petrol blue paint, and the hotch potch of cupboards, and the way that apple green dresser is properly distressed from years of use.’ It’s also groaning under the weight of a thousand recipe books. I run my hand over the work surface between the pottery sink and the cooker and shake my head as the memories come rushing back. ‘This was where I used to sit when I helped Laura make butterfly buns in flowery paper cases.’ Although mainly I was interested in licking out the mixing bowl. It’s funny, although it’s decades since I thought about that, I can imagine the vanilla sweetness of the buttercream and the crunch of the hundreds-and-thousands sprinkles as if it was yesterday.
‘Probably the last time you went into a kitchen, was it?’ Sophie gives me a gentle dig with her elbow. ‘Until you stuck those macaroons together yesterday?’ The mermaids never pass up an opportunity to point out how shit I am at cooking, although I get that from my mum. She’s so bad Harry’s in charge at home, and before Harry we relied on stab and zap and pitying neighbours. Even so, when it comes to eating, mum and I are equally enthusiastic. You only have to look at my Insta pics to know that. #gateauxofinstagram. The last four months I’ve made it my business to visit and test out most of the patisseries in Paris. I let out a sigh as I think of those fabulous glazed fruit tarts and my favourite mille-feuille custard pastry stacks, topped with the prettiest feathered icing.
I wander back through for a last look at the living room. As I perch on the edge of a velvet chair and stare out through the double doors that open to the outside from the living room, Sophie sinks down on a sofa bursting with cushions, and drops Maisie onto her knee.
‘Tempted to go out on the balcony?’
‘No chance.’ I peer at the gaps between the sun-bleached planks. ‘I’d rather sky dive, at least that way I’d be falling with a parachute.’ I let out another sigh, because I hadn’t expected to care about some rotten wood, let alone be disappointed at not getting to stand out there and feel the wind whipping through my hair.
Sophie sends me one of those searching glances of hers that pierce right through you. ‘So has coming here made you change your mind about rushing into selling?’
I’m playing for time here, avoiding the issue. ‘Have you noticed how the sea changes colour? It was way greener as we came in.’ Now we’re done, I’m strangely loath to leave. The dreamy part of me would like to forget about going back to give George the keys and sit up here and watch the sea all day. But the firm and practical voice in my head is shouting at me very loudly, telling me to get the hell out of here and leave George to sort the sale.
Sophie frowns. ‘It’s strange. When we arrived, I expected to have to work my butt off doing the hard sell. In fact, I haven’t said a thing, yet there you are in your red flowery dress, looking like you’ve been here all your life.’
I owe it to Sophie to be honest. ‘Actually,