I feel like it's my last throw of the dice.
Tony Robbins hits the stage and begins by telling all 5,000 of us that we have the power to change and that later that night we will be walking across hot coals as proof of our power. She is joining in, but I can see she is only going through the motions. I get a sense that her problems are too deeply ingrained for any lasting real change to occur.
‘I'm looking for someone who's depressed,’ Tony asks the audience. Instinctively, without thinking, I raise her arm. My heart is racing.
One of ‘Those’ Moments
As ‘luck’ would have it, out of those 5,000 people, Tony Robbins chose her to work with one on one. Now picture the scene: the auditorium is huge, with giant screens at the front of the room on either side. There are cameras onstage now, trained on both of us, to capture every nuance of this interaction.
I swallow hard and hope Robbins knows what he's doing.
‘So you're depressed? Why are you depressed? Tell me about it,’ Robbins commands.
Within a few moments she is tearful, rocking back and forth on her chair in the foetal position, and she's starting to become withdrawn and unresponsive.
‘What the hell? How's this going to help?’ I'm thinking.
Then he asks her something that totally surprised me. ‘Have you ever had an explosive orgasm?’
‘Huh?’ she asks, incredulously.
‘I'm just curious. Have you ever had an explosive orgasm?’ he asked again.
‘I can't tell you that!’ she said coyly. The audience laughs.
‘Well you just told 5,000 people about this depressing episode. Why not tell us about this joyful one?’
She's stumped, and looks confused. Robbins calls on help from the audience.
‘Ladies and gentleman, can she tell us about this experience – yes or no?’
Five thousand people respond as one with ‘Yes!’ and clap enthusiastically.
Robbins asks, ‘Can you think about that time now? Go back to that time and see what you saw, hear what you heard and feel what you felt.’
She closes her eyes and begins to associate back to the experience. It starts to resemble the scene from the movie When Harry Met Sally where Sally (played by Meg Ryan) has a full-blown orgasm in a café.
The crowd cheers her on and it starts to build up – and I mean really build up, if you know what I mean. She is flushed in the face and making quite a sound through the microphone she's holding. Now remember, there are cameras onstage looking at us, so the whole audience can see on the big screens what is taking place. You should have seen the look on my face. All I remember thinking was … ‘I haven't seen this before!’
This one seminar changed her life. She was totally stuck but came to realize through this intervention that she had the power to choose her emotions depending on what she focused on and the meaning she gave to what happened to her.
I remember thinking, ‘I'm so grateful, but what a shame we had to travel internationally to resolve this. And why, when I looked for answers, was I told that tablets were the answer?’
And then, as gentle as a whisper at the back of my mind, I thought, ‘Maybe that's why you're here, Andy? Maybe it's meant to be you up there on stage too?’
I was inspired. I wanted to do something similar to Tony Robbins. I wanted to know what he knew and inspire others to make changes in their lives too. But then another thought crept in my mind: ‘Don't be ridiculous, Andy. Who's going to listen to you?’
Have YOU ever had a dream, but it just seemed too big? It seems so far away from your starting point that you give up before you've even started?
I told myself to forget about it and stop dreaming. That is, until another Tony Robbins seminar a few months later.
A Date with Destiny
It's the final day of the Date with Destiny event in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina. We are asked to pair up with a stranger and look directly into their eyes and become really present for them.
This is difficult for me, and I'm a bit slow in finding a partner. It soon becomes apparent everyone has a partner other than me. There are 5,000 people in the room, but I can only see one other person that doesn't have a partner…
Tony Robbins.
Now picture the scene. I'm in Row 16 of around 100 rows of seating. There are security guards all around the stage stopping idiots like me from getting too close to Tony. However, I'm on a mission, and when some guards are distracted I get Tony's attention and motion to him to be my partner. To my complete surprise, he agrees. I proceed to spend five minutes with Tony Robbins that changes the entire direction of my life.
Now I don't know if he remembered I was the partner of the person he had helped, but I looked at him and I was so grateful for what he had done – for all the skill he had, the knowledge he had and the marketing efforts that reached out to me through TV. Tears were pouring from my eyes and to my astonishment I noticed tears rolling down his cheeks, too.
In that moment, I made a life-changing decision. I resolved that even though I was not an expert in any field – not a speaker, an author or a coach – I would learn what I could and seek to help those who like us needed inspiration.
I also secretly dreamt that one day I might share the stage with Tony Robbins.
A Passion into Profit
It's been almost ten years since the moment I looked into Tony Robbins' eyes and made a life-changing decision to embark on a new career. It's now July 2011.
I'm standing backstage. I can hear the faint murmur of the 9,000 people in the audience as I wait in the holding area of the ExCeL Exhibition Centre in London. I'm not nervous. Having already spoken at the London O2 Arena to 8,500 people a few months before, I'm more than ready.
I take a moment to reflect over the past decade. My first training company had actually failed, but I'd picked myself up and built a very successful one from the hard-knock lessons I had learned.
I think of my Mum, who looked after me when I felt suicidal after I discovered a long-term partner had cheated on me and left me at my lowest point in my life, both financially and emotionally.
Next to me is Beckie, the single most important person in my life. We had become a couple in the summer of 2009. Her unconditional love for me had given me the courage to start all over again and it had brought me to this point. We are looking forward to our wedding two weeks later.
‘This is your moment, Andy, this is all you've dreamt of … I love you baby boy.’
‘I love you too Bex.’ I pinch myself, because I am about to share the stage with Tony Robbins …!
As I hit the stage I get a standing ovation. I recognize the faces in the audience of those who have been with me on this journey and those who I have helped through my teachings and advice over the last decade. People who I would never have influenced or even met had I not believed in my dream.
Since speaking alongside Tony Robbins in London that day I have spoken in, Ireland, USA, Australia, Singapore, Malaysia, Dubai, South Africa, Poland, Belgium, Holland, Thailand and New Zealand. I've shared the stage with Sir Richard Branson (Virgin), Donald Trump and Alan Sugar (The Apprentice), Robert Kiyosaki (Rich Dad, Poor Dad), Sir Bob Geldof (Live Aid) Steve Wozniak (Apple co-founder) Jordan Belfort (The Wolf of Wall Street), Sebastian Coe (Olympic champion), Brian Tracy, Bob Proctor, Dr John Demartini (The Secret), Les Brown, Paul McKenna, Nick Vujicic (the YouTube phenomenon) George Foreman (world heavyweight boxing champion), Erin Brockovich, Larry King, Steve Forbes (Forbes magazine), and President of the United States Bill Clinton.
Which brings me right back to November 2012 at the Grosvenor House Hotel in London, where this story started.
The End of a Cycle
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