drawing your life's path from one corner to the other.
Figure 1.1 Path of Life Example
Let the terrain of your journey be unique to who you are. Include mountains and valleys, cities and wilderness, forks, bridges, and cliffs.
Add in houses, buildings, and so on along the way, each representing places you have lived or worked. Likewise, indicate key people and important events with pictures or a diagram along or across the path.
Add representations for your family, work, hobbies, spiritual life…anything that is meaningful to you.
Be creative and allow your story to unfold in front of you.
Looking at the path, divide your life story into four or five chapters marked by major changes or critical transitions in your journey. Give each chapter a descriptive title and add it to your path.
Learning From Your Life Story
The story of your life is not your life; it's your story.
When trying to discover our authentic selves, a good place to start is to examine our life stories. We are largely the stories we tell about ourselves. Stories are the way we capture our experiences in a way that we can understand and in a format that we can communicate to others.
However, as you might have experienced when attempting to draw your path of life, it's not quite that simple. As novelist John Barth reminds us, these “stories” are not our lives; they are our stories. They are social constructions, and as such, they have a great deal of play in them. There is no one single, true, and right story of our life.
You've no doubt heard the saying: “You are the author of your life.” Look at the path of life you just drew in Exercise 1.1. Now take a few minutes to reflect on the following questions:
● Which story did you ultimately choose to tell when you “authored” this version of your life?
● How did you decide what to include and not to include?
● What's missing and why?
● Imagine all possible versions you considered when drawing your path of life.
◦ Which one reflects the real you?
◦ What can you learn about yourself by reflecting on the version you ultimately decided to draw here today?
● What audience did you have in mind when drawing this version of your life?
● Would the path you drew look any different if you knew someone else would see it?
● How different might it look if you were drawing it for your best friend? Your boss/teacher? Your parents? Your partner? A prospective employer? A prospective date? A newspaper reporter?
Our life stories are just that; they are stories – personal narratives constructed out of recollections from our past. And since our memories are far from perfect, we have a great deal of freedom in how we author the stories of our life. Context matters. Who we are and whom we plan on sharing them with greatly influence the stories we tell about ourselves. Of all the possible stories we might construct about ourselves, which are the most useful?
For our purposes, we find it helpful to draw a distinction between telling your story as a hero, a victim, or a knowledgeable bystander. We believe that your story work will be most helpful if you cultivate the perspective of a caring, knowledgeable bystander rather than that of a hero or a victim. If you are a hero, you miss out on what you need to work on. As a victim, you miss out on your strengths. As a knowledgeable bystander, you can be your own best friend or mentor, someone who knows you intimately, doesn't pull any punches, but who is definitely on your side. Adopting this perspective is best when authoring our life stories for purposes of finding our True North.
Now let's shift our focus to the life story of the most important leader in your life: you.
Exercise 1.2: Learning About Your Leadership
Reviewing your path of life, call to mind those times when you had the opportunity to lead. These can be formal positions of responsibility or simply experiences when you had the privilege of stepping up and influencing others. Choose a leadership experience you are proudest of, one in which you feel you were at your best. In this exercise, put yourself back in that time and describe it as if it were happening to you right now.
Summarize your proudest leadership experience, starting with the general situation.
What was the context or setting?
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What triggered your leadership? What caused you to step up and lead?
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What was the outcome? What changed in the people, team, or in the organization as a result?
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How did you feel…
Before stepping up to lead?
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When you first stepped up to lead?
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When facing the challenges of the situation?
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After the results were in?
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What insights did you just gain about your leadership as you told this story?
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2. ____________________________________________________________________
3. ____________________________________________________________________
Telling your story is an important part of authentic leadership development. Writing your story down gives you a point of reference and helps you gain perspective on yourself.
Now let's probe more deeply into this experience when you were at your best so that you can gain even greater insight.
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