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Английский разговорный шутя. 100 анекдотов на все случаи жизни


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разъяренный

      расе скорость, темп

      buzzard сарыч

      buddy сленг приятель

      he wanted to have his hens serviced он хотел, чтобы его кур покрыли (have sth done букв. устроить так, чтобы кто-то сделал что-л. для тебя)

      to set sb loose освободить кого-л., дать кому-л. волю

      to give sb a little talk поговорить с кем-л.

      to count on sb рассчитывать на кого-л.

      there was much squawking было много кудахтанья

      to have one's way with покончить с кем-л.

      to finish having закончить делать что-л.

      in the same manner тем же способом, в той же манере

      to roll back закатить (глаза)

      to get closer приблизиться

Exercises to the text

      1. Answer the questions to the text:

      1. Why did the farmer go to the market?

      2. What sort of a rooster did he want to have?

      3. What did the farmer tell Randy before setting him loose?

      4. Where did Randy go after he had finished his way with the hens?

      5. What was the farmer afraid of?

      6. What did the farmer think when he saw Randy lying on the lawn?

      7. What do you think Randy would do after he had finished with the buzzard? Don't you think the farmer is in danger?

      2. Fill in the blanks with the words from the text:

      1. A farmer wanted to have his hens _______.

      2. He was hoping he could get a _______ rooster.

      3. Before setting him _______, he gave him a little talk.

      4. He mounted all the horses at the same _______ pace.

      5. In the pighouse he did _______.

      6. His legs were _______ in the air, his eyes rolled_______.

      7. A buzzard was already _______ above Randy.

      8. The buzzard's _______ closer.

      3. Say if the statement is true or false:

      1. A farmer wanted to have his pigs serviced.

      2. Randy here is the horniest rooster you will ever see.

      3. So the farmer took Randy to the farm.

      4. Before setting him loose, he had a long talk with Randy.

      5. Having finished his way with each hen, Randy stopped.

      6. The farmer, watching all of this, cried out, «O.K., Randy, carry on!»

      7. A buzzard was circling above Randy.

      4. Match the words and expressions in the left column to those in the right one:

      5. Translate from Russian into English:

      1. Он отправился на рынок в поисках петуха.

      2. У меня как раз есть для тебя петух.

      3. Я рассчитываю на тебя, что ты сделаешь свою работенку.

      4. Ни слова не говоря, Рэнди с гордым видом направился в курятник.

      5. Было много пронзительный криков и летящих перьев.

      6. Рэнди закончил свои дела с каждой курицей.

      7. Фермер смотрел на это все с недоверием.

      8. Бедняга, ты убил себя. Я тебя предупреждал.

Revise English Grammar

      Любое предложение в английском языке, содержащее существительное, включает в свой состав и артикль – определенный, неопределенный или «нулевой»: А (неопределенный артикль) farmer wanted to have his («нулевой» артикль) hens serviced, so he went to the (определенный артикль) market looking for a rooster…

      Проверьте свои навыки использования артикля, при необходимости обращаясь к грамматическому комментарию (раздел 1).

      6. Insert articles where necessary:

      1. _______ farmer wanted to have his _______ hens serviced, so he went to _______ market looking for _______ rooster.

      2. He wanted to find _______ very good rooster to service all his _______ hens, and when he told this to _______ market vendor, man answered. «I've just _______ rooster for you.»

      3. "Randy here i is greatest rooster you might have ever seen!"

      4. So farmer took Randy back to the farm.

      7. Render the joke.

      Section 2

      The Burglar

      A burglar had broken into a house late at night, in total darkness. He was working his way through the house making no noise when he heard a voice. He stopped and listened for a while and heard nothing. He continued his journey through the rooms looking for the one with all the «goodies» when he heard a voice again. This time he could faintly understand it. The voice said, «I see you and Jesus sees you.»

      This made the burglar just freeze, and he waited to see what would happen. Nothing, the burglar heard nothing for some time and resumed his search. Just then he heard the voice again, much louder this time, it said, «I see you and Jesus sees you.» This was puzzling to the burglar and he was about equally curious and scared, so he began working his way toward the voice. He entered another room and a voice in the room said, «I see you and Jesus sees you.»

      This scared the hell out of the burglar, and he just stood there motionless for about five minutes and heard no further noises. He then felt around and found a light switch and turned it on. There was a large bird cage with a parrot sitting in it. The parrot looked at the burglar and said, «I see you and Jesus sees you.» The burglar just grinned and went to work filling his bag and left the light in the room on. He had his bag about half full when he turned to look at the parrot again, this time he noticed that a Doberman Pincher