Flashman Papers 3-Book Collection 2: Flashman and the Mountain of Light, Flash For Freedom!, Flashman and the Redskins
Maharaja! Khalsa-ji!” Then they turned as one man and marched out of the open double doors behind them. Gardner was at the corner of the screen in four quick strides, staring after them, then coming out to take Dalip’s hand. Behind the purdah, Jeendan yawned, shook her red hair and stirred her shoulders as though to ease them, took a deep drink, and began to straighten her sari.
Now that is exactly what I saw, and so did Alick Gardner, as his memoirs testify – and neither of us can explain it. Those Khalsa fanatics, stung to madness by her insults, would have rushed the purdah and cut her down, I’m certain, and been slaughtered by the Muslims; God knows what would have followed. But she threw her petticoat at them, and they went out like lambs, prepared to do or die. “Intuition” on her part, Gardner calls it; very well, it did the business. Mind you, young Dalip stood up at exactly the right time.43
Jassa was breathing relief, and Mangla was smiling. Below us came a series of thunderous crashes as the Muslims ordered arms and began to file out of the chamber. Little Dalip was behind the purdah, being enfolded in Mama’s tipsy embrace, but Gardner had disappeared. Mangla touched my arm, and signing to Jassa to wait, led me up to the rose boudoir – I felt exhausted even looking at it – and through to the passage beyond and a little room which I guessed must be the schoolroom of Dalip and his playfellows, for there were half a dozen little desks, and a blackboard, and even a globe, and fairy-tale pictures on the walls. There she left me, and a moment later Gardner strode in, breathing fire and wonder.
“You saw that just now? Goddam, but that woman’s a bearcat for nerve – a bearcat, sir! Petticoats, by thunder! I wouldn’t ha’ credited it! Sometimes I think …” He paused, eyeing me with a curious frown. “… I think she’s a mite de-ranged, what with drink and … well, no matter. And George Broadfoot’s dead? Well, that’s hard hearing. You didn’t see it? Well, you have one as good in Henry Lawrence, let me tell you that. Maybe even better, as an Agent. Not a better man, mind you. No, sir, they don’t come better than the Black-coated Infidel.”
He was standing, arms akimbo, staring at the floor, and I sensed disturbance – not because he hadn’t greeted me, or made reference to my recent adventures, for that was never his style. But there was something on his mind, for all that he tried to cover it with a show of briskness.
“It’s past four, and you and Josiah must be clear of the gates before six. You’ll go as you came, bearing the palki, but this time Dalip will be your freight, dressed as a girl. My subedar will have the palace gate, so you’ll be clear there. Once beyond the Rushnai, keep to the doab, due south-east, and dawn should see you at Jupindar – it’s about forty miles, and not on the map, but you’ll see it clear enough. It’s a big cluster of black rocks, among low hillocks, the only ones for miles around. There you’ll be met –”
“By whom? Our people? Gough wanted to –”
“By sure people.” He gave me a hard stare. “All you need do is get that far – and I don’t have to tell you that you’re carrying the Punjab on your back. Whoever gets that boy, it must not be the Khalsa, mallum? He’s a good little horseman, by the way, so you can keep up the pace. Dawn, at Jupindar, mind that. Due south-east and you’ll fall over it.”
For the first time, I felt excitement rather than fear. He had it pat, and it would do. We were going to bring it off.
“What else?” says he. “Ah, yes, one thing … Dr Josiah Harlan. I gave him a bad name to you, and he deserved every word. But I allow he’s played a straight hand this time, and I incline to revise my opinion. That being the case, you’d better keep a closer eye on him than ever. Well, that’s all, I guess …” He paused, avoiding my eye. “Once you’ve paid your respects to the Maharani … you can be off.”
Now there was something up. Gardner uneasy was a sight I’d never thought to see, but he was scratching his grizzled beard and keeping his face averted, and I felt a strange foreboding. He cleared his throat.
“Ah … did Mangla say nothing to you? No, well … oh, dooce take it!” He looked me full in the face. “Mai Jeendan wants to marry you! There, now!”
Heaven knows why, my first reaction was to look in the mirror on the classroom wall. A fierce-eyed Khyberie ruffian stared back at me, which was no help. Nor was my recollection of what I looked like when civilised. And possibly the Punjab had exhausted my capacity for astonishment, for once the first shock of that amazing proposal had been absorbed, I felt nothing but immense gratification – after all, it’s one thing to win a maiden heart, and very fine, but when a man-eater who’s sampled the best from Peshawar to Poona cries “Eureka!” over you, well, it’s no wonder if you glance at the mirror. At the same time, it’s quite a facer, and my first words, possibly instinctive, were:
“Christ, she ain’t pregnant, is she?”
“How the devil should I know?” cries Gardner, astonished. “On my word! Now, sir, I’ve told you! So there you are!”
“Well, she can’t! I’m married, dammit!”
“I know that – but she does not, and it’s best she should not … for the moment.” He glared at me, and took a turn round the room, while I sank on to one of the infants’ stools, which gave way beneath me. Gardner swore, yanked me to my feet, and thrust me into the teacher’s chair.
“See here, Mr Flashman,” says he, “this is how it is. Mai Jeendan is a woman of strange character and damned irregular habits, as you’re well aware – but she’s no fool. For years now she’s had it in mind to marry a British officer, as security for herself and her son’s throne. Well, that’s sound policy, especially now when Britain’s hand is on the Punjab. For months past – this is sober truth – her agents in India have been sending her portraits of eligible men. She’s even had young Hardinge’s likeness in her boudoir, God help me! As you know, she has your own – well, ’twas the only one she took to Amritsar, and the rest (a score of ’em) have been with the lumber ever since.”
Nothing to say to that, of course. I kept a straight face, and he took station in front of me, mighty stern.
“Very well, it’s impossible. You have a wife, and even if you hadn’t, I dare say you’d not care to pass your days as consort to an Eastern queen. Myself, while I admire her many good qualities,” says he with feeling, “I’d not hitch with Jeendan for all the cotton in Dixie, so help me Hannah! But she has a deep fondness for you – and this is no time to blight that affection! Northern India’s in the balance, and she’s the pivot – steady enough, but not to be disturbed … in any way.” He stooped suddenly and seized my wrist, staring into my eyes, grim as a frost giant. “So when you see her presently … you will not disappoint her hopes. Oh, she’ll make no direct proposal – that’s not Punjabi royal style. But she’ll sound you out – probably offer you employment in Sikh service, for after the war – with a clear hint of her intentions … to all of which you’d best give eager assent – for all our sakes, especially your own. Hell hath no fury, you remember.” He let go, straightening up. “I guess you know how to …”
“Jolly her along? Oh, aye … by God, it’s a rum go, though! What’ll happen later, when she finds I ain’t a starter?”
“The war’ll be over then, and it won’t signify,” says he bleakly. “I dare say she’ll get over it. Dirty game, politics … she’s a great woman, you know, drunk and all as she is. You ought to be flattered. By the by, have you any aristocratic kinfolk?”
“My mother was a Paget.”
“Is that high style? Better make her a duchess, then. Mai Jeendan likes to think that you’re a lord – after all, she was once married to a Maharaja.”44
As it happened, my lineage, aristocratic and otherwise, was not discussed in the rose boudoir, mainly because there wasn’t time. When Gardner had spoken of not disappointing her, I’d supposed (and have no doubt that he meant) that I must not dash her hopes of becoming Mrs Flashman; accordingly, I bowled in prepared for an exchange of nods and becks and coy