Heather Gudenkauf

Missing Pieces


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“She always believed in me. No matter what.”

      Sarah embraced Hal. “Is there anyone I can call for you?”

      “I know who to call,” Celia interjected in a way that struck Sarah as oddly aggressive.

      “What about Amy?” Sarah asked. “Do you think someone should go check on her?”

      “I think it’s probably best to just let her be for a while,” Celia answered. “Let her catch her breath.”

      Sarah wrapped her arms around Jack’s waist, and he rested his chin on top of her head. “Did you know Julia had a do-not-resuscitate order?” she asked.

      “No. And Amy must have not known, either. I’ve never seen her act like that before.”

      “I should call the girls, let them know what’s going on.”

      “No, not yet.”

      “I could make arrangements to have them fly here?” Sarah offered.

      “No,” Jack said quickly.

      Sarah pulled back and looked up at him. “But...”

      “Sarah,” he said in exasperation. “I said no.”

      Sarah didn’t understand Jack’s reluctance to bring the girls to Penny Gate. They should be here with them. That’s what families did; they were there to support one another when times were difficult.

      The tension between them was broken by the sound of determined footsteps. They shifted their gaze down the long corridor, where a woman in a long white doctor’s coat and a man who appeared to be a security guard were approaching with quick, long strides.

      “This can’t be good,” Jack said in a low voice. “Can you find Amy?”

      Sarah hesitated, glancing at Jack with uncertainty.

      “Sarah, please just go!”

      She started down the hallway, hurt by Jack’s harsh tone. When she reached the end of the hallway, she turned to see the doctor and security guard confront Jack in the doorway of Julia’s room. He held up his hands in placation, as if trying to calm them.

      The nurses must have alerted security about Amy’s outburst and they were coming to...what? Escort Amy from the building? Detain her until the police came to arrest her? Sarah quickened her pace, though she wasn’t sure what she would say to Amy if she found her. Should she tell her to run, to get out of there as quickly as possible? Or should she try to convince her to come back upstairs to talk things through?

      Once again she bypassed the elevator and raced down the stairs and through the lobby. The automatic doors slid open and Sarah saw Amy shivering on a bench just outside the hospital entrance. A brisk wind had swept the clear skies away and replaced them with dark clouds heavy with rain. Amy had stopped crying and was blankly staring upward, a cigarette pressed to her lips. She had one arm wrapped protectively around her waist, the same way that Jack always did.

      “Amy.” Sarah cautiously approached her sister-in-law. “I’m so sorry about Julia. Are you okay?”

      “I can’t believe she’s gone.” Amy swiped at her nose with the back of one hand. “I can’t believe she’s really dead.” She pressed the heels of her hands against her bloodshot eyes. “I really freaked out up there. Did I hurt that nurse?”

      “Just a few scratches.” Sarah sat down on the bench. “She’s fine. But everyone’s worried about you.”

      “I bet Dean went ape shit.” She gave a short bark of laughter and then started to cry again.

      Sarah wasn’t sure what to say. She barely knew Amy, but what she did know was that she was volatile and unpredictable. But this was Jack’s sister and she also knew that Amy loved her aunt and was grieving terribly. Sarah slid closer to her and put an arm around Amy’s thin shoulders. “Do you want to come back inside?” she asked once Amy’s cries subsided. “I bet if you apologize to the nurse, she’ll forget the whole thing.”

      “I can’t go back in there,” Amy said, taking a shaky drag on her cigarette. “Not now, anyway.” She gave the cigarette a tap and watched the long ash fall to the concrete below. In her other hand she held what looked to be a round silver charm. The kind you might find on a bracelet or on a necklace.

      Amy caught Sarah looking and held it out for her to see. Engraved on one side was a cross and on the other was the word faith. “It was lying next to Aunt Julia when I found her. I was going to hold on to it until she woke up and then give it back to her.” She shook her head. “I don’t think I can face them.” She looked up toward Julia’s room. “It’s all my fault.”

      “What do you mean it’s your fault?” Sarah asked.

      Amy didn’t answer. She dropped the cigarette to the ground and squeezed the charm tightly in her palm. “Amy,” Sarah prodded. “What do you mean?”

      “I don’t know. Maybe if I had gotten there fifteen minutes earlier...”

      “You can’t think that way about it. You’ll drive yourself crazy,” Sarah said. “Just think about what could have happened if you hadn’t shown up when you did.”

      Amy shrugged, unconvinced. “When are you leaving town?”

      “We’ll stay for the funeral, of course, but will probably need to go home soon after.”

      Amy nodded and lit another cigarette. “That’s probably a good idea. People who stay around here too long either die or go crazy. Jack had the right idea. He left Penny Gate as soon as he could and didn’t look back. If my mom would have just left...” Amy trailed off.

      “You can’t blame the accident on your mom’s decision to stay in Penny Gate,” Sarah said. “There’s no way to know what would have been different.”

      “‘The accident’?” Amy gave a skeptical snort. “Is that what Jack is calling it these days?” She stood, took a deep pull on the cigarette and blew a stream of smoke out of the corner of her mouth. “You need to talk to your husband,” Amy said as she started to walk away. “You know Jack. Always full of secrets.”

      Sarah’s stomach clenched. What else hadn’t Jack told her? She watched as Amy walked away, her gaunt frame hunched against the sharp wind. She considered chasing after her but to what end?

      Maybe she had been overreacting about Jack’s name, and even about Celia. But Jack was definitely keeping something from her. Something important.

      THE ACCIDENT? Is that what Jack’s calling it these days?

      Amy’s cryptic comment tumbled in Sarah’s mind. Tears pricked at her eyes as she ticked off the half-truths and lies that Jack had told her. She was tired of all the secrecy, the avoidance. Yes, Jack was reserved, private. But she had thought they had both known the important parts of each other’s lives.

      She pulled out her phone and entered Jack Tierney into the search engine. Three hundred and eighty-one thousand results.

      She plugged in two more words, Penny Gate, and it narrowed the search. Sarah clicked on the first link, a newspaper article headlined Penny Gate Woman Found Bludgeoned. Her eyes skittered down the page. The body of Lydia Tierney, thirty-six, was discovered yesterday afternoon in her rural Penny Gate home. Before Sarah could read any further, Jack approached.

      “Sarah?” he asked, and she nearly dropped her phone. “What are you doing?”

      Heart thumping, she quickly slid her phone into her purse. “I was talking to Amy. She just left,” she said. Jack’s eyes were red-rimmed and seemed to hold immeasurable sadness.

      Jack sat down next to her, his leg pressing against hers. “They posted a security guard outside Julia’s room and made us