Jack was absolutely gorgeous. His hair was almost white-blond and long enough to look cool but short enough to stop it looking ridiculous. His full mouth, which could have given him a sulky appearance, was counteracted by the wideness of his smile, revealing perfectly white milk teeth. His eyes were a bright, piercing blue and even at four years old, it was already clear he was going to be tall.
‘Oh, Em, he’s really beautiful.’ Unlike the others, Amy had always yearned for children of her own, something she had told Nick on their second date and when he hadn’t run a mile, that’s when she had decided he could be the one for her.
Emily flushed with pride and reached out to take the photo from Amy’s grasp but she hung on to it. ‘He doesn’t look like you at all…’
‘Well, I’m definitely his mother, if that’s what you’re suggesting – I’ve got the stretch marks to prove it!’ Emily tried to grab the photo but Amy swiped it out of her reach.
‘I’m just trying to think who he reminds me of…’ Amy stared hard at the photo. It was one of their old lecturers, she was sure of it. A vague memory of Emily becoming fixated on one of them – Anton, she thought it was – bubbled to the surface, but although she ran through a mental Rolodex of their faces, after four years the images were already too blurred and hazy.
Reluctantly, she handed the photo back to Emily, who looked slightly panicked. For the millionth time, Amy wondered why she didn’t trust anyone enough to tell them the truth. Even Emily’s parents didn’t know the identity of Jack’s father and Emily had actually lived with them for the first couple of years after she left university. She had finally moved into a flat of her own but it was still close to her parents’ home in south-east London and her mum looked after Jack all the time when Emily was at work.
‘Anyway, Sophie,’ she said, turning her attention away from Emily. ‘Isn’t it about time you and Steve had a baby?’
Sophie’s eyes bulged in Amy’s direction. ‘What? Where the hell did that come from? I’m only twenty-five!’
Amy shrugged. ‘So am I but if I was in a settled relationship like you, I’d do it while I was still young. Get it out of the way like Emily did.’
Emily spluttered on her Cava. ‘Christ! I don’t think anyone should follow my example… I love Jack to distraction but it’s been bloody hard from day one. Given the choice I would definitely wait until I had established my career and was a lot more secure financially.’
‘But you haven’t got a partner like Sophie ha—’ Amy tailed off in embarrassment as she realized too late how tactless her words sounded.
‘No. I don’t have a partner. Thank you for pointing that out, Amy.’ Emily looked suddenly furious.
‘I’m sure Amy didn’t mean it like that.’ Sophie shot Amy a warning look as she spoke. ‘No, I’m not planning babies any time soon, thanks, Amy. Anyway, we’re not even married,’ she added.
‘What’s your name? Jane Austen?’ Amy teased and a low snigger of amusement emitted from Melissa.
‘No, it’s just…’ Sophie stood up and scrunched her long chestnut hair distractedly into a ponytail. She looked flustered. ‘Well, I can’t imagine what it must be like to throw away the condoms and actually plan to make a baby. We’ve all spent so many years trying desperately not to get pregnant after what happened to Em… Sorry, Em, but you know what I mean, don’t you?’
Emily nodded, slightly wearily.
Amy’s head whirled with thoughts of Nick. She tried not to get too carried away – after all, they had only been dating for four months. But already she could picture them as parents. Nick was so protective of her and caring. He made her feel special in a way that no one ever had before. She knew she didn’t have the wit or the brains or the personality that the others had. She was the quiet one who hated any kind of confrontation and would go along with what everyone else wanted to do in order to keep the peace. But Nick seemed to find her captivating and hung on her every word. He wanted to spend every waking minute with her and told her he couldn’t get enough of her. She loved it.
She wondered idly whether their children would inherit her auburn hair and green eyes or Nick’s swarthy dark good looks, hoping it would be the latter. He was such a beautiful man – even thinking about him now made her feel weak with longing. She had had many boyfriends in the past but Nick was different. Special. She already felt that he was ‘the one’.
‘Do you think you and Steve will get married then?’ Emily interrupted the silence, cutting through Amy’s daydream.
All eyes locked on to Sophie, who seemed to quail slightly as she spoke: ‘Uh… maybe. I’ve never really thought about it.’
‘Oh, you should!’ Amy clapped her hands together several times, excitement bubbling up inside her. ‘It would be so fantastic to have a wedding to go to. I could bring Nick…’ She left the thought hanging tantalizingly in the air, imagining already what she might wear, how perfect Nick would look in a morning suit.
‘Well, I’m not planning to get married just so that you lot can have a day out.’ Sophie frowned at Amy. ‘And you need to stop daydreaming, Amy. You’ll frighten him off if you’re too keen.’
Amy grinned. ‘I can’t help it. You know what I’m like. And it hasn’t frightened him off so far.’
‘True. But then, he hasn’t met me yet!’ Melissa stood up and stretched languorously, showing off her toned, brown-skinned belly as she did so. Amy laughed, though a tiny prickle of nervousness passed through her. Melissa was a legendary flirt. But despite her sexiness and beauty, she had never enjoyed anything more than flings and one-night stands. Men never seemed to stick around. And she didn’t think Melissa was Nick’s type anyway. He was always telling Amy how much he loved her because she was so unusual, with her long, slim legs, mane of red hair and dazzling green eyes. She could easily have been a successful model but standing and posing in front of a lens had never interested her. She was too dreamy. Too creative. If anything, she wanted to be the one holding the camera.
‘Anyway, girls, enough of this nonsense. I’m starving.’ Melissa threw Amy a pleading look. ‘Amy, get a move on and cook our dinner.’
The next morning an early haze burned quickly away to reveal a cloudless blue sky. Emily’s leg muscles throbbed as she pounded along the beach. Running on sand was so much harder than jogging through the park near her London flat. But the salty sea air, the warmth of the sun on her skin and the gentle lapping of the waves on the shoreline were like a balm to her soul and spurred her on to keep running. Every step helped to clear her head a little more after drinking far too much last night. She hadn’t drunk that much in years. Since before Jack was born.
Seeing the others was always a bittersweet experience – it churned up so many mixed feelings. Most of all, it made her long to turn back time to their first year of university when they were all living together in the same halls of residence, young and clueless before life got in the way.
Sophie and Melissa had shared a room, while Emily and Amy had occupied the single rooms either side of them. Naturally, Melissa and Sophie were particularly close, meaning Amy and Emily also paired off. But from the start, the four of them were a tight unit. Emily had loved those days. Looking back through the prism of time, they seemed so carefree and untroubled – when problems weren’t really problems at all. They were just excuses for tearful dramas, followed by whole nights sitting up drinking and talking until dawn, dissecting and condemning whoever might have slighted one of them.
Those were Emily’s last memories of being truly happy. After that first year, when they all went their separate ways, everything changed. Sophie moved in with Steve, while Amy and Melissa shared a flat. They asked Emily to move in with them but she chose to stay in halls.
She never told the others the real reason she wanted to be close to