happily convinced Joe Ryan is a decent height, well groomed, smells tolerable and could very well be straight and unmarried, I smile again, this time more businesslike (showing the teeth).
‘I look forward to working with you, Joe. And welcome to the firm.’
‘I look forward to working with you, too, Hazel. I’m sure we’ll work well together.’
‘Right, I think that’s all for now,’ Brian says, standing up slowly, indicating the meeting is now over, for him at least. ‘First thing first, hire yourselves a new PA and, Joe, learn from Hazel—she can show you the ropes.’
As I stand to leave, Brian asks me to stay for a bit to sort out a few more items and asks Joe to settle himself into his office. Joe smiles and stands. He’s about six-three I guess. Good height for a girl of five foot nine and a half—which I happen to be. Yes, have decided we would look good together, if we ever get it together. Not that we will of course. Not that I will allow myself to.
He shakes Brian’s hand and then turns to shake mine. I’m doing very well. I think I’m doing very well. I give him a firm strong handshake, look into his deep brown eyes and smile naturally.
‘I look forward to working with you.’
Joe smiles warmly, disconcertingly says nothing as though he hasn’t heard me, or has read my body language and blushes and has already sussed me out completely, and leaves the room with one almost graceful movement.
I turn round and sit down. Brian is grinning at me from ear to ear.
‘So you like him, then?’
‘Well, yes, I’m sure he comes well recommended, Brian. I didn’t see the need of having another partner, as you well know, but I’m sure he can help with the workload.’
‘Got something about him, hasn’t he? I think the female clients will like him. We’re doing well on the male front because of you, Hazel, but we need more female clients and they prefer a man to represent them. I personally don’t see why this is as female lawyers are invariably tougher than male ones.’
‘That’s rather sexist if I may say so, Brian, but you’re probably right. I’m sure he’ll go down well. I think he’s a bit too good-looking. You know what some of these female clients are like. Vulnerable, and in walks this handsome man and hey presto, chemistry.’
‘That’s rather sexist of you if I may say so, Hazel. Joe is professional, will be professional and undoubtedly good for business. And as far as business is concerned sex has everything to do with it, as you well know. Half your clients fall in love with you when they meet you, and inevitably trust your judgement. It’s all about building confidence and if they like you, well, it helps.’
‘Yes, I know. He will be fine, I’m sure.’ I try to sound as nonchalant as possible without sounding too blasé about Joe Ryan’s appointment. But I know Brian reads me like a book. Thank goodness I’m not as transparent in court.
‘I would rather my colleagues keep their relationship professional, Hazel, but if they can’t I’m sure they will behave appropriately in the office.’
I look askance at Brian, who is still grinning like the Cheshire Cat.
‘If by that you’re suggesting I will try to seduce him you’re very much mistaken. As you well know I’m wary and fussy and he’s not my type.’
‘Tall and handsome is not your type?’
‘The office colleague. The younger man is not my type.’
‘Good. I’m sure you’ll be as professional as Joe will be. Anyway, we’re here to work and make money, make more money and then make more money still.’
I smile and turn to leave. I know Brian could tell I like Joe. Joe could probably tell I like Joe thanks to my blushing, so I won’t say anything but I do allow myself a wry smile and a, ‘Quite. Well, if that’s all, I’ll go and start making more money.’
Chapter Five
Hiring an Ugly PA
We’ve interviewed four candidates who have to replace the irreplaceable Jennifer, who has left to have her second baby and will probably never return. She says she will, but she won’t.
Last week she did leave, teary-eyed, arms full of flowers and baby gifts, waddling out the door to an awaiting taxi. Not only was Jennifer good at her job, she was good with me. She anticipated my needs and delivered before I could ask. She knew how to handle both her own PMT and mine. She knew when to speak, and more importantly when not to. I cried more than she did when she left. And now, I had to try to find another PA all over again, who would time manage my movements, but now, I have to share her with a man. I don’t like that. Only-child syndrome, I know, but I don’t like to share, especially PAs.
Especially with someone as, well, as charismatic as Joe Ryan. He may monopolise her. Perhaps we should get a male PA. Or better still he should get his own PA. But Joe Ryan doesn’t want a male PA, he tells me. He tells me he wants someone pretty and young. I think he’s joking.
So here I am, sitting in slightly messy office with Joe Ryan. We’re arguing, no debating, well, debating very heatedly, who we should choose. They’re all under thirty, two boys and two girls. All aesthetically appealing, all qualified up to their armpits and all hungry to work with us. We don’t agree.
‘A man. I would prefer a man. They’ll be efficient and we won’t have this baby problem again.’
I realise I’m arguing against my own sex here, but I don’t want either of the two girls. Both of whom are very good-looking and very smart. And both of whom barely managed to hide the thunderbolt effect Joe Ryan seems to have on the female sex. Something he is obviously used to. So I don’t want to hire them.
‘That’s being sexist against your own sex, Hazel. And Jennifer was superb. You said so yourself.’
‘I know, but this is less likely to happen with a man. Plus, I think the two girls liked you.’
‘I could use the same argument about the men.’
Yes, he could use the same argument about the men. Because I could sense they did, ‘like me’(blushing, not able to hold eye contact with me but okay with Joe. When they were able to hold eye contact, pupils becoming dilated. Quite sweet really, plus annoyed shit out of Joe, so doubly good), but I’m sure, seeing me every day they’d get over the schoolboy crush. I will probably get over the silly thing I have with Joe. Not that it is anything. I just don’t want it to get out of hand.
‘Men will leave for other reasons. They will be ambitious, they will want to move on.’
‘Well, how about we hire someone in their forties or fifties, a female, who won’t be attracted to either of us and just be good at her job, happy with it, and has done the kids, marriage, divorce and remarriage thing.’
‘Good idea. Why didn’t I think of that?’
‘You wanted someone younger. And younger isn’t necessarily better.’
Perhaps the forty thing is getting to me. I’ve never felt anything resembling jealousy toward younger women. All I remember when I was younger was being more insecure, more self-conscious, self-aware, more self-critical and more blindly ambitious than I am now. I’m more settled, kinder to myself and with other people, but I smarted at the hint of him wanting someone young. It genuinely annoyed me. And I’m annoyed I’m annoyed.
Joe smiles at me. I know he’s going to say something clever. Or something he thinks is clever.
‘So we’re decided. Ask the agency to find us a woman in her late forties, with the right qualifications…(and smiling) and preferably plain.’
I