he had his friends among the regulars here. He sensed her glance at him and smiled in greeting. She felt the weight of responsibility in his eyes as Heinrich waved to her cheerfully.
Peadar finally returned with the sherries, having extracted himself from the man’s company. ‘What a bore,’ he said. ‘An RTE producer. You know the type who stop strangers on the street when they can’t find anyone else to argue with.’
She looked around, meaning to ask Peadar if he recognised the stranger, when somebody else caught her attention.
‘The bastard,’ she hissed, making Peadar look at her in surprise. She nodded towards a sofa near the reception desk where a bearded man was smoking and enjoying a whiskey while his teenage daughters sulked over the orange juices before them.
‘Do we know him?’ Peadar asked.
‘He’s the bastard in the BMW who nearly got us killed. Do you not remember the pusses on those two girls gawking out the window?’
The bearded man stared directly back and raised his glass as if in a toast, although Alison couldn’t be sure if he recognised them. She had already risen when Peadar grabbed her arm.
‘Where’re you going?’
‘To throw my sherry over the smug bastard.’
‘Ah, Jaysus, please don’t,’ Peadar cajoled. ‘It will take me half an hour to get you another one if that RTE arsehole spots me going back up to the table.’
‘I’m serious.’
The man seemed to be watching, amused and impervious to what was going on. His daughters had even forgotten to look bored.
‘For God’s sake, Alison, what’s the point? Don’t spoil our holiday. You know you’re like a bag of cats on the first night here anyway.’
Danny and Shane appeared in the foyer, checking they were still there. Sheila wanted Alison to praise her colouring. Alison sat back angrily, but Peadar was right. He was always bloody right, especially when it came to her losing her temper. And she did find it hard to relax on the first night here, from a cocktail of memory and guilt.
Every year they came here the menu changed but some traditional Fitzgerald recipes remained the same. She remembered her parents uneasily stirring the green nettle and cognac soup that was still served here. And how she herself had half expected to be stung as she raised the soup spoon to her lips. Nettle soup to them was something from the famine, the poorest of the poor boiling weeds for nourishment. They couldn’t have been more shocked if the main course had consisted of the old recipe of potatoes mashed with blood from a cut made in a cow’s leg. As it was, they had been taken aback by the litany of penitent fish dishes even though it wasn’t a Friday.
Her parents had been perpetually ill at ease on that holiday, her mother making the beds each morning and frantically tidying up before the cleaners came in. They had sat in armchairs in the Slaney Room, talking mainly to the staff and just watching other guests pass by. She had only ever seen them this uncomfortable again whenever they were forced to meet Peadar’s parents. They had not fitted in here and neither had she. The other children tolerated her mainly for her novelty value, making her repeat phrases in her Waterford accent. Only the Newry boy had treated her differently, thrown together by them being the only two children not from Dublin.
It perturbed her every time she returned, just how well she fitted in here now, how indistinguishable her children were from the others running in and out of the television room. The same Dublin accents, with hardly a trace of her Waterford or Peadar’s Galway brogue – not that she herself had much of an accent left. Her parents would be proud. Yet this never stopped her from imagining them, perched on a sofa in this foyer, speaking in whispers and not recognising the daughter who had left them behind in trying to meet the expectations of her in–laws.
It was best to get the children ready before the babysitter came. She rose and walked towards the boys, praising her self–control in ignoring the bearded man when he spoke to her.
‘You need to trade in those wheels of yours,’ he joked, like the incident had been amusing. ‘Get something with a bit more vroom in it.’
She stared at him.
‘Maybe that’s what you need yourself.’ He looked puzzled, his daughters moronically staring through her like she wasn’t there. Her accent thickened, reverting back to girlhood. ‘I mean these things are about compensation, aren’t they?’
‘I don’t see how compensation enters into it,’ he said, defensive now, watchful of his wallet. ‘There was no accident, nobody hurt, nothing.’
‘I don’t mean that type of compensation.’ She was aware of Peadar anxiously at her shoulder. ‘I mean the other kind, the need to make up for things. Or as we say in Waterford, the bigger the horsepower the smaller the prick behind the wheel.’
She walked on, aware of the silence behind her, of the girls staring and of Peadar at her shoulder. They got around the corner before Peadar managed to speak.
‘His face,’ he said. ‘You should have seen the gobshite’s face.’ Both started laughing, unable to stop, collapsing onto the nearest sofa, while the boys hovered, convinced their parents were cracking up. Danny’s eight–year–old face was such a picture of mortified respectability that he could have passed for Peadar’s father.
‘Stop it,’ he hissed, ‘you’re embarrassing me.’
Alison pulled him onto her lap, tickling him as he struggled and the others jumped up in a tangle of limbs. Now she felt truly on holidays.
Throughout dinner she knew they were going to make love that night. She kicked off her shoes and played footsie with Peadar, even when Jack Fitzgerald himself stopped to welcome them back. She could feel Peadar’s shoe gently brush her calf, then explore upwards between her bare knees as the owner moved off and the waitress took their order for dessert. During the two days of packing she usually just pecked at snacks, too flustered to feel hungry. This always made their first meal all the more special.
There was never music in the Slaney Room on Sunday nights. Older couples gathered around the piano instead in the French Bar at the far end of the building. Alison and Peadar enjoyed their coffees in the foyer near the open fire. The porter got them drinks and Peadar allowed himself his usual single cigar. The heat from the logs scorched Alison’s legs. Yet she loved the smell of wood–smoke. She would happily have gone back to the room then but they waited a little longer to make it worth the babysitter’s while. They nestled like lovers, her head against his chest, nursing their second drinks until sufficient time had elapsed.
The boys were asleep in single beds on either side of the double one, with Sheila snuggled down in a third bed near the French doors that opened out onto gardens overlooking the sea. Peadar had his hands under the waistband of her skirt while she was still closing the door on the babysitter. She turned and he picked her up, her legs straddling his waist as he carried her towards the bed. He collapsed on top of her, each shushing the other while simultaneously trying not to laugh. He undid the top of her outfit, his hands gripping her silk slip as if about to tear it off, while her eyes warned him against trying any such thing. He worked it upwards, his hands managing to undo her bra while she kissed him and tugged at his zip.
She wasn’t sure if their noise caused Danny to shift, his legs kicking the blankets off. But pure instinct made her slide out from under Peadar and go to fix the blankets. Peadar raised a hand to silently stop her, yet even as she touched Danny she knew she was crazy not to leave the boy alone. When would she learn to stop meddling until it was necessary to do so? She tucked in the blankets then turned back to Peadar but the mood was already broken. He looked past her to where Danny stirred again. He was not a child you could disturb in his sleep. He was half awake now and half dreaming, sitting up to call for her in distress and yet not realising she was already there. Alison settled him down once more but knew it was no use.
‘Take him out, quickly,’ Peadar hissed, but she hesitated, hoping against hope the boy would settle back asleep. Danny sat up and