Peeves. Mike Waes Van

me and hanging off me, I was getting desperate and Wallyball gave me an idea. Just in case you’ve never played, Wallyball is kind of like volleyball, except you play with a big beach ball that you can hit off the walls before you hit it over the net. It’s totally disorganised and totally out of control. At least, that’s how it was with this student teacher sub in charge. Everyone was already freaking out in the middle of the court, chasing after and swatting the ball.

      It was exactly the opening I needed.

      Once I was changed and got out of the locker room, I joined the other kids in the spare room next to the gym. I don’t even know what that space was supposed to be, but with its high ceilings and mats everywhere, it felt custom-made for Wallyball. I was finally able to shake Lazy Peeve off my leg as I ducked under the net strung across the middle of the room. The peeve lay down right on the floor, as if it’d already had the hardest day ever. And I was so frustrated that I kicked it as hard as I could. I wanted to send it splatting against the gym wall, but it was so much heavier than the other peeves that it just sort of flopped over onto its face.

      “Why’d you do that?” asked Asking Peeve, but I was inspired. I ran around the court like a madman grabbing, throwing and kicking my peeves in any direction I could. I punted one over the net and watched it THWACK against a wall, I tossed another through the portable basketball hoop in the corner for a perfect SWOOSH and SPLAT on the floor, and then I kicked one right into a pile of mats that I was sure would bury it for ever. But no matter how hard I tried, my peeves would just peel free and reinflate themselves. Then they’d go right back to annoying me. By the end of the Wallyball game, they were all standing and I was exhausted.

      We returned to the locker room as the period wound down. The rest of the guys dressed quickly and headed off to their next class. But I couldn’t peel myself off the bench. My mind was spinning. My inner monologue was going bonkers. And I was feeling desperate and defeated.

      “This is crazy,” I said, which prompted Asking Peeve to wonder, “What is crazy?”

      And Telling Peeve answered, “He thinks he is,” pointing right in my face.

      “It’s not a good look on you,” cracked Snarky Peeve.

      And that’s when I lost it. “I’M not crazy!” I screamed. “THIS