C.J. Skuse

In Bloom


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August – 13 weeks, 4 days

       Friday, 10th August – 13 weeks, 5 days

       Saturday, 11th August – 13 weeks, 6 days

       Sunday, 12th August – 14 weeks exactly

       Monday, 13th August – 14 weeks, 1 day

       Thursday, 27th September – 20 weeks, 4 days

       Friday, 28th September – 20 weeks, 5 days

       Saturday, 29th September – 20 weeks, 6 days

       Tuesday, 2nd October – 21 weeks, 2 days

       Thursday, 4th October – 21 weeks, 4 days

       Friday, 5th October – 21 weeks, 5 days

       Saturday, 6th October – 21 weeks, 6 days

       Thursday, 11th October – 22 weeks, 4 days

       Tuesday, 16th October – 23 weeks, 2 days

       Friday, 19th October – 23 weeks, 5 days

       Monday, 22nd October – 24 weeks, 1 day

       Thursday, 25th October – 24 weeks, 4 days

       Monday, 29th October – 25 weeks, 1 day

       Wednesday, 31st October – 25 weeks, 3 days

       Friday, 2nd November – 25 weeks, 5 days

       Saturday, 10th November – 26 weeks, 6 days

       Sunday, 11th November – 27 weeks exactly

       Wednesday, 14th November – 27 weeks, 3 days

       Friday, 16th November – 27 weeks, 5 days

       Wednesday, 21st November – 28 weeks, 3 days

       Friday, 23rd November – 28 weeks, 5 days

       Monday, 26th November – 29 weeks, 1 day

       Tuesday, 27th November – 29 weeks, 2 days

       Thursday, 29th November – 29 weeks, 4 days

       Saturday, 1st December – 29 weeks, 6 days

       Sunday, 2nd December – 30 weeks exactly

       Wednesday, 5th December – 30 weeks, 3 days

       Saturday, 8th December – 30 weeks, 6 days

       Thursday, 13th December – 31 weeks, 4 days

       Tuesday, 18th December – 32 weeks, 2 days

       Thursday, 20th December – 32 weeks, 4 days

       Sunday, 23rd December – 33 weeks exactly

       Monday, 24th December – 33 weeks, 2 days

       Tuesday, 25th December – 33 weeks, 3 days

       Wednesday, 26th December – 33 weeks, 4 days

       Thursday, December 27th – 33 weeks, 5 days

       Friday, December 28th – 1 day post-partum

       Extract

       About the Publisher

      KNOCK KNOCKKNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

      So there I was, red-handed, red-faced, naked and straddling a corpse. His body is covered in my DNA so even if I did toss him over the balcony onto several parked hatchbacks, the evidence would lead straight back to me.

      KNOCK KNOCKKNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

      ‘Jesus Christ police have got loud knocks. Okay okay okay okay think whatdoIdowhatdoIdowhatdoIdo?’ Prison is a no no. I’ve seen Orange is the New Black. I can’t do all that lesbianing. It looks exhausting.

       ANSWER THE FUCKING DOOR!

      ‘Yeah, I guess I’m gonna have to, aren’t I?’

      I fling on my dressing gown and tiptoe across to the bedroom door. The knock comes again and I jump a clear foot in the air.

      For crying out loud, Mummy. This isn’t just about you now. You’ve got me to think about. Answer it and tell them you can’t speak to them now.

      ‘Oh yeah they’re gonna love that, aren’t they? “Sorry, Sarge, could you pop out for a couple of doughnuts while I dispose of this corpse I’ve been sleeping with, then do feel free to come back with your Marigolds on and have a good root around?” It’s not gonna wash, Foetus Face.’

      KNOCK KNOCK.

      Right well that knocking is getting right on my tits now so just answer it. You’ll think of something.

      I’ll admit, I’d have been lost if it hadn’t been for that little voice