of her. She thought of being eight and running home with Tully after they got caught in a terrific Kansas summer storm. In the end, they got a little frightened and, drenched, climbed under someone’s porch and huddled together. And Tully, getting out her sodden handkerchief and wringing it, was laughing and tenderly wiping Jennifer’s face – her forehead, her cheeks, her mouth, her eyes. Jennifer could smell Tully’s breath – warm fruit gum – and see Tully’s own wet face. That is what Jennifer thought of, when she looked and looked but couldn’t see Jack in front of her.
The Homecoming dance was in the Topeka High School cafeteria. Their Senior Banquet later that year, catered and all, would also be in the Topeka High School cafeteria. Not that it was a bad cafeteria – it had a fireplace and everything. It was just amazing to Tully how she never left the school unless she went up to College Hill. I wonder if the Senior Prom is going to be in the cafeteria, too. The Junior Prom was.
Tully killed most of the four hours until Mr Martinez came to get them at eleven by dancing. Mostly with Robin, but Robin didn’t seem to want to be there, not even to dance with Tully. When she rubbed up against him, though, she felt hardness against her leg and thought, Well, maybe he does want to be here after all.
Julie was arguing with Tom, and Jennifer was standing in the corner. Tully went over to Jennifer.
‘What’s the matter with you?’ Tully said, guiding Jennifer onto the dance floor. ‘You seem so out of it.’
Jennifer grunted something incomprehensible in reply, something about bad wet weather and Tully’s not being there.
‘What are you talking about? I was there.’
Jennifer mumbled something.
‘What?’
‘I said, I couldn’t see him…the rain.’
Tully stopped dancing. ‘We were talking about me a second ago. Who are you talking about? Jack?’
Jennifer looked at Tully with sweet sad eyes. ‘Jack,’ she said, and before Tully could ask, was dragged away by her cheerleader buddies.
In a little while, Tully left with Robin, but the name, ‘Jack’ continued to ring in her ears. Jack, Jen said. Or, Jack? Tully wasn’t sure if Jennifer meant it as an answer or a question.
Jennifer stood in the corner, sipped her Coke, and watched Tully leave with Robin. Julie was busy with Tom, and Jack was just plain busy. Often, Jennifer couldn’t even find him. He would dance with this girl and that, or stand and laugh with his friends. His other friends. His team won and he reaped the accolades. He was the captain. Too busy to come near her. Two girls came around collecting ballots for Homecoming Queen. Jennifer had forgotten to fill hers out, so now she scribbled Tully’s name and put the paper in the basket. ‘I think Shakie’s gonna win,’ said the shorter girl.
‘Shakie?’ asked Jennifer.
‘Shakie, Jen! She is only on your cheerleader squad,’ said the girl. ‘Last year’s Homecoming Queen.’
Oh. Shakie. Yeah. I guess. But can Shakie dance? And then Jen saw Shakie dancing with Jack, and all she could think of was that at least it was a fast song and they weren’t touching each other. Not like we were touching during ‘Wild Horses,’ she thought. Where is that Tully? Tully, Tully, Tully. Please come back.
Jennifer stood there for a little while longer and then decided to go home. She walked slowly around the dance floor. Then she heard his voice. ‘Oh, Jennifer, ohhhhh, Jennifer! Where do you think you’re going?’
Holding her breath, she turned around and faced Jack. ‘Where are you going, Jennifer? I thought we were going to dance.’ Her mouth began to widen to a smile, and just then two of his teammates and some girls ran up, giggling, talking, and grabbed his arms and pulled him away. Jack just made a face, a what-are-they-doing-to-me face, but not an I’m-sorry-we-didn’t-get-to-dance face. Jennifer watched him being dragged away and then went home.
At eleven, Mr Martinez came to drive Julie and Tully home. Julie was sullen; she was thinking of breaking up with Tom again. She wanted to tell Tom she did not want to see him anymore. All they ever did was argue about politics. They took their history club and their current events club with them everywhere. But what’s the point of breaking up? she thought. It’s not like I have anyone else I like. At least this way I have someone to go out with. Julie was sad. She really wanted to like somebody. She wondered if Tully liked Robin. She could never tell with Tully. Julie looked over at her friend. Tully was sitting with her head thrown back against the seat and her eyes closed. She is always kind of the same on the outside, thought Julie. What’s not to like about Robin?’
There had been several boys who were interested in Tully, several who even spoke to Julie about her, but Tully was always so indifferent. Julie would have liked to like a guy like Robin. If a guy as handsome as Robin with a Corvette really liked Julie? She’d never leave his side. Tully, however, was the type who wouldn’t care if her guy drove a beat-up Mustang and wore jeans and T-shirts all day. Tully always was the kind of girl, Julie thought, who did not jump up and down for a guy. Any guy. Kind of like Julie herself. Would Tully like to jump up and down? Julie wondered. Would I? Would Tully ever tell us if she fell in love? Julie didn’t think so. Jennifer likes Jack, Julie thought, she likes Jack hard, it’s obvious as the eyes on her face, and look where it’s getting her. Jen’s regressing again to her old ways, for sure. She hasn’t been this bad for some time.
Julie had been seeing Tom since the Junior Prom, but their sexual relationship had never developed. They made out often, and once or twice Tom felt her breasts, but he was awkward, and she wasn’t into it at all; it didn’t do anything for Julie when Tom touched her, so they stopped and discussed politics instead. Watching Tully sit there with her eyes closed, Julie wondered if she and Robin had just had sex. If they did, Julie knew it would be far from the first time for Tully. Tully apparently had some pretty interesting years. Tully told her best friends about some of the boys she met in those bars. Julie had felt that some of the boys were disrespectful to Tully, but now, as she said good-bye to her friend, came home, and sat down with her parents to watch ‘Saturday Night Live,’ Julie wished someone would be disrespectful to her.
6
The following week Gail called Robin up to scream at him for ignoring her at the Homecoming dance, and in a heated discussion told Robin some nasty things about Tully that he did not want to hear and did not believe. But something rotten got inside him, so he got indignant and hung up, and on the ride from Manhattan to Topeka to pick Tully up from school, he could not stop thinking about it.
Tully climbed into his car, kissed him on the lips, and smiled. He did not smile back, but revved the engine and drove.
‘Robin, what’s the matter?’ Tully said after a while.
‘Nothing,’ he said, and continued to say it was nothing. He told her he’d had a bad day at work, this and that and the other thing. Tully had to be home before Hedda, around six. Robin and Tully went to ‘their’ deserted lot again. It wasn’t actually deserted, it was the after-work parking lot of the Frito-Lay factory. It was far from her house, as far as they could go without actually leaving Topeka, but somehow that Frito-Lay sign was familiar to them already.
They parked in the farthest corner of the parking lot and had sex. It wasn’t so cold that afternoon, even though it was nearly November. Robin did not leave the car on, and Tully moaned a little again and he came fast again. He lay on top of her and thought of asking her if she liked it, if she came, if she ever came, if maybe next time she wanted to go to a motel or something, but he asked her none of these things, saying instead, ‘Tully, are you a virgin?’ Knowing full well that she could not be.
Tully laughed. ‘Robin, that’s a very funny thing to be asking me after we just had sex. Yes, Robin, of course I’m a virgin. What else could I be after having sex with you?’ She laughed some more,