‘Tully, I did not lie – ’
‘Jennifer, stop! I know your lying face even if your own mother doesn’t. Now, how much?’
Jennifer mumbled something.
‘What?’ said Tully.
‘Ninety-six,’ whispered Jennifer.
Tully was cold for the rest of the evening.
Later that night, in her own home, she slept, after hours of anxious restlessness, after counting 1,750 or 2,750 sheep. She slept at her desk, wind blowing about the curtains and her hair. Her hands were under her face, between her and the wood. Tully slept and dreamed that she was in the desert. She was walking in the desert by herself, she was completely alone, and she was thirsty. It seemed that she had walked for days and had not drunk for days. God! how she wanted to drink. To drink or to die, thought Tully in the desert.
‘Julie, there is something very wrong with Jennifer,’ said Tully, Tuesday morning, March 13, right after homeroom. Julie seemed a little absent-minded. ‘I think she’s anorexic.’
‘Are you crazy?’
‘Julie, I know you haven’t been paying attention to a lot of things lately, but don’t tell me you haven’t noticed Jennifer is now thinner than me.’
Julie looked thoughtful. ‘Well, maybe she does seem a little thin, but –’
‘Julie!’ Tully exclaimed. ‘She is ninety-six pounds! Ninety-six!’
Julie turned red and said, ‘Tully, don’t scream at me! Yes, that seems very thin. Sick, even. But what do you want me to do about it?’
‘Julie!’ Tully folded her hands together, pleading. ‘Don’t you care?’
‘Tully, of course I care. But I have an English report to write by sixth period, and after school we’re going to the Statehouse on a fact-finding mission – Look, she’s always been a little plump and she lost weight lately. And you kind of gained weight lately.’
Tully shook her head. ‘Don’t you get it? I haven’t gained weight lately. And Jen hasn’t just lost weight, she is sick.’
‘I’ve got to get to class,’ said Julie. ‘We’ll talk to her.’
‘You and your stupid fact-finding mission. Where have you been all these months? Where? I don’t know who has more of a problem. Do you know Jen got sixty-fives in all her classes and that’s only because the teachers felt sorry for her? Do you know she has not passed one test since January and is still failing everything?’
‘How do you know that?’ asked Julie, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other.
‘I know, that’s how. I know because I was talking in gym to two girls who are in Jen’s math class. They told me Mr Schmidt is worried about Jennifer. He keeps talking to his students about her.’
The bell rang. Julie sped down the hall. ‘We’ll talk to her, we will,’ she yelled.
Tully stared after Julie dumbly. Wanting to feel better, she had approached Julie, but now she felt worse. Books pressed hard against her chest, Tully went to class with a punched-in-the-stomach worry.
Four days later, on St Patrick’s Day, at eleven in the morning, Tully passed her driving test. Jennifer was with her.
‘I guess Saint Paddy listened to my prayers,’ said Tully, smiling.
‘Guess so,’ said Jennifer.
‘Thanks for teaching me how to drive, Jen.’
‘You’re welcome, Tully,’ said Jennifer.
Tuesday, March 20, after school, Julie gingerly approached Jennifer. She had wanted to do it earlier, or over the weekend, but there was so much to do. The president of the history club asked her to talk about Indonesia’s involvement in World War II, and she knew nothing about it. Today she had her current events club meeting, but she hadn’t read the paper over the weekend or Time or Newsweek on Monday, so she decided to spend Tuesday afternoon with Jennifer instead.
‘So, Jen, how is everything?’ Julie said as the girls ambled down 10th Street to Wayne.
‘Fine, thanks,’ Jennifer replied, kicking stones out from under her feet.
‘You and Tully excited about Stanford?’
‘Tully’s going to UC in Santa Cruz. She’s pretty excited.’
‘What about you? Are you excited?’
‘For sure,’ said Jennifer.
Julie just did not want to ask Jennifer, just did not. She did not want to bring up a subject Jennifer so obviously had no interest in discussing. How long ago did Tully and Julie stop teasing Jen about her crush on Jack? January? When Julie made some silly remark about how Jennifer could not hide her obsession with Jack’s butt, and Tully glared at her and Jennifer looked away. Julie never brought the subject up again, but now, two months later, she wondered why she never asked Tully about it. Why she never asked Tully if something happened between Jennifer and Jack.
Julie sensed uneasily that something had happened. Something happened to make Jennifer go from a plump, content girl to a darkening shadow. But, truthfully, Julie just did not want to deal with it. Just did not want to, and Julie felt ashamed on this windy, sunny March afternoon as the girls walked to Julie’s house. Ashamed that Jennifer’s heart was too much for Julie to help heal because it would take so much time and so much energy and so much of their day, which, instead of being spent in jokes and TV and their senior year, goddamn it! would be spent in tears.
Julie lowered her head; and when she did, she remembered school days the last few months when she would see Jack stroll by and smile his jock smile and feel Jennifer physically stiffen, remembered her own lowered head at this sight – of smiling Jack and stiff Jennifer – and Julie recognized that then, too, she was lowering her head in shame.
Julie looked at Jennifer’s gaunt, pale face. Her lips used to be so red, but now were bluish pink. All the highlights were out of Jennifer’s hair and it looked a lot like Tully’s hair before she had it bleached and permed for her eighteenth in January. Jennifer’s body was well hidden by a long, loose black skirt (Tully’s?) and a large sweatshirt. That’s all Jennifer wore nowadays. Loose skirts and large shirts. Ninety-six? Was it possible? And what to do about it? Julie cleared her throat.
‘Jen, have you lost weight?’
‘God!’ Jennifer said in a raised, exasperated voice. ‘What is it with you people? Everybody keeps asking me the same question! Can’t you be original and ask me something else? What about how I’m doing in school –’
‘Jennifer, how are you doing in school?’ said Julie quietly.
‘Great! I actually got a sixty-two on my English lit exam. Mr Lederer said I was improving. Anything else?’
‘Yes,’ said Julie. ‘What the hell is wrong with you?’
Jennifer did not reply.
At Julie’s house, they played with Julie’s two youngest brothers, Vinnie and Angelo. Jennifer seemed to cheer up a little playing with Vinnie, who was her particular favorite because he would latch on to her and not let go until she left.
She did leave, though, before dinner, saying she wanted to eat at home. Julie walked her to Wayne and 10th, and they stopped at the corner.
Julie skipped a beat and said, ‘Jennifer, tell me what’s bothering you.’
‘Nothing, Julie,’ said Jennifer. ‘I forgot when to stop dieting. I’m a little low on energy. I’m going to have to start eating more.’
Julie was unconvinced.
‘I’ve been going through