and it’s already hard to remember.’ Closing her eyes, she starts to describe Penny’s movements, but Jen drifts, the batter of her heart still loud in her ears. She tunes in again when Geri mentions Will’s name. ‘She was there when Will was fooling with your girls. It was funny to see them swallowed up by his wedding tails, then racing away. Poor Holly being lugged back under his arm like a sack of potatoes did make me laugh.’ For a moment she looks startled. ‘God, did I really laugh and say it was one of those joyous moments everyone remembers? I looked for Penny then and she was walking inside. Then, I don’t know … the confetti shot?’
‘Bloody unbelievable,’ Jen says, her thoughts popping out as words. ‘I wonder what was going on in her head.’
Turning to the dance floor, she absently watches her daughters. They didn’t see Penny at the window, thank God. At least she doesn’t think so. Geri guided Holly and Maria inside before anyone noticed and she was on the way to clean Anna’s shoes in the ladies’, so she was carrying her.
She sighs. One of life’s shocking turns; unexpected change in an instant. Her worries about Holly seem silly now. And besides, she looks fine. Her pretty face is flushed and she’s even laughing with Maria. Dancing and music; the two things they have in common.
The only two things.
Still finding it impossible to fully absorb what’s happened and shape how she feels, she glances at her watch. Bloody hell, look at the time! Enough theorising about Penny, it’s time now to focus. Pinning her hair behind her ears, she turns to Ian. ‘When should we take the girls up to the room?’ she asks. ‘It’s getting late.’
He looks up from his mobile. ‘Another ten minutes? I’ll give them a warning.’ Putting his hand on her arm, he squeezes gently. ‘You stay and chat. There’s no need for us both. I’ll put them to bed and catch the end of Match of the Day.’
‘Thanks, love, you’re a star.’
With a surge of affection, she smiles as her husband threads his way to their girls, his red hair flashed green by the neon lights. She observes for a few moments as he negotiates their departure. Her daughters’ faces go from truculent to defeated, from nodding to broad smiles. Bribery, she thinks, it’s the secret of parenting and works every time: money for Maria, football stickers for Holly and swimming tomorrow morning for Anna, she guesses. Of course Ian wants to escape to watch the football highlights and review the day’s scores, but he’s still a bloody star.
She turns back to the table; Geri is studying her nails, Seb and Dan drinking in silence. She puts her glass to her mouth, then realises it’s empty. The speculation storms back. What the hell happened today? What was going on in Penny’s mind? She seemed fine for the photographs at the church. They stood together, chatting about the girls as usual, and she asked Penny if she was reminded of her big day. She was outside the hotel too, wasn’t she, when Will was larking around? Was that when she caught the puzzled look on his face, when he asked if she knew where Penny had gone?
Leaning towards Seb, she studies him for a moment, wondering how he’s feeling. Worried for his big brother, she supposes. She knew him so well as a boy, but she hardly knows the man. His intense eyes seem focused on Dan and there’s a small frown she can just see beneath his long fringe.
‘Hey, Sebi. Any word from Will?’
He turns his head sharply, looking startled. ‘No, not much. Just a text to say they’re home.’
She sits back again, the palpitations still there. ‘What do you think he’ll do? He can’t just do nothing.’
The words emerge louder than she intends, but no one has a reply. Then Seb seems to rouse himself. ‘I bought a couple of bottles of brandy for Nick. Good stuff. Think we’re bringing down the tone sitting here looking miserable. How about we polish one off in my room?’
‘A brilliant idea. You’re a bloody star, Sebi,’ she declares, standing. She grabs Geri’s hand. ‘Come on, pregnant lady. You can be my chaperone.’
Vertical, she sways. God knows how much she’s already drunk, but she can’t feel it yet. She pictures Penny on the window ledge, so pale and so thin, wearing only her nude-coloured underwear. Drinking more is the thing. She’ll need the anaesthetic tonight.
Dan
Trying to block out thoughts of his bizarre mission earlier, Dan piles from the lift with Seb, Geri and Jen. Though unsteady on her feet, Jen takes the room key off Seb and opens the door. Almost holding his breath, he watches her close the sash window. Then she piles cushions behind Geri’s back, throws off her shoes and curls her plump legs under her bum as though the bedroom is hers.
Not sure where to sit, he takes the regency armchair and Seb sits opposite, his fringe flopping forwards as he pours brandy into glasses purloined from the bar.
‘I know I shouldn’t,’ Geri says, inhaling the honey-coloured liquid before sipping. ‘But this smells so expensive that a small taster won’t hurt.’
Jen’s grin shows the dimples on her affable face. ‘Double for me.’ Tucking her dark bob behind her ears, she looks pensive. ‘I wonder how Will is. Nick and Lisa too. The wedding planner had anticipated rain, I’m sure, but that must have been a surprise.’
Dan swirls his brandy, the prickle of amazement still there. ‘Shock, you mean. Thank God we were outside. I still can’t believe she did it. At a wedding of all—’
‘Change the record, Dan,’ Jen snorts. ‘We’re all pretty stunned. It’s not every day—’
‘Stop, for God’s sake, just stop!’
They all turn to Seb. There’s a crack in his voice and he’s glaring at Jen. ‘You seem to be forgetting about Penny. How she must be feeling.’ He rakes back his hair. ‘Can any of us imagine? To do something so extreme. In public too.’ He puts down the bottle and pinches the top of his nose.
Dan stares, astonished. Seb had seemed so passive up to now, but his features look broken.
A burst of guilt spreading, he drops his gaze quickly. Penny has only been married to Will for a year or so, but of course she’s still Seb’s sister-in-law. Feeling he’s seen that shattered look before, he automatically stands and puts a hand on Seb’s shoulder. A memory from long ago surfaces, replaced moments later by Penny’s pale face, her strangely glazed eyes. Thrown back to the sensation of freezing flesh in his arms, he abruptly pulls back, his heart galloping. ‘You’re right, Seb. I can’t imagine.’
With difficulty, Geri sits forward and stretches her fingers towards Seb. ‘We’re all with you there, Seb. I guess it’s just so surreal. You’re right, absolutely, poor Penny.’
‘Sorry, Sebi.’ Jen climbs off the bed and though so much shorter than him, she manages to fold him in her arms. ‘Me and my big mouth. You know what I’m like. Of course I’m worried about Penny too. We all are.’
The four of them change the subject eventually, even manage a laugh as the brandy is poured and time drifts.
‘You did a great speech, Dan,’ Seb says, sitting forward. ‘Really funny. I thought Nick’s mum might faint, though. “What happened in Amsterdam should stay in Amsterdam. However …” You should have seen her startled face; I doubt she’s previously heard of a ladyboy.’
Dan lifts his glass. ‘Cheers, Seb. I was pretty nervous. You know, without my straight man. Had to improvise.’
Geri stands and yawns. ‘God, I’m shattered,’ she says. ‘I need my bed.’ She pecks Dan on his cheek. ‘You stay and enjoy that delicious brandy while the going’s good. Try not to wake me when you get back.’ She pats her stomach. ‘One lot of kicking is enough!’
Catching