chicken and chocolate mousse that everyone pushes around to save room for cake.
In summer, a barbecue is a fun option, and only requires minimal staffing on the venue’s part. The winter equivalent is the hog roast – not so easy on the eyes maybe, but there’ll be no complaints from your guests’ satisfied stomachs. And before you ask, yes, you can get vegetarian options – just ask your venue what they can do.
Buffets are the usual antidote to all the pomp and circumstance of the post-speech feed-with-servants, and just like the BBQ and hog roast, having people queue for their food doesn’t mean you can’t have all the fun of a seating plan – if anything, it gives those single ushers and maids something to chat about before they find their tables.
Not all buffets were made equal, though – there are a few different ways that you can do this. First up: a very British classic. This is your traditional buffet – all triangle sarnies, cocktail sausages and little pieces of cheese and pineapple on sticks. Beef it up with the likes of pizza slices and Indian or Chinese snack selections – and add some jelly and ice-cream if it’s not too hot for a touch of retro fun.
Second, if your venue is the kind where you supply your own caterers, talk to them about something a bit different, or pull it together yourself. Sweetie tables have been big for a while now and aren’t showing any signs of going anywhere. They’re literally pretty tables spread with Cath Kidston-esque linen, glass jars filled with sweets and maybe a few cakes – we used our wedding cake as the centrepiece. Seriously, think how easy it would be to nab some containers (save, hire or buy from your local ASDA or Wilkinson), then raid your local pick ‘n’ mix (we miss you, Woolworths!) or snap up grab-bags of your fave sweets and go fill ’em up.
On a similar theme – but requiring more input from your caterers, who will love your ingenuity – ‘build-your-own’ bars are popping up all over the place. Featuring everything from top-your-own jacket potatoes or ice creams to fill-your-own fajitas, brainstorm fave foods with your groom and go from there. Anyone for stack-your-own sandwich with baguettes, cobs and rolls, or build-a-burger with different meats, veggie bean patties, relish and sauces?
Finally, if you’ve got chefs among your rellies who are vying for a part in proceedings, make the most of their talents instead of padding out your ceremony with a million readings. You can specify your favourite eats or just allocate some cooks sweets and some savouries, then have each one bring a labelled dish – preferably one that can be served cold unless your venue doesn’t mind you using their ovens – along with serving utensils so everyone can dig in on the day. Now that’s what I call a family feast.
Bottle It
Drinkies are a sizeable cost that you two don’t have to carry alone – it’s not uncommon for couples to put in for a drink or two per guest before the wedding breakfast, a drink or two during and a glass of bubbly for the toasts, then open up the bar for the rest of the night and let everybody pay for their own.
Keep costs down by talking corkage with your venue and bringing your own bottles, or opting for less expensive beverages like house wine, and clinking glasses with Prosecco or Buck’s Fizz over straight champers. You could even wheel out your own big-day punch or cocktail – just make it with more juices than alcohol and stick to the affordable stuff.
Little Extras
We’ll get into this in the Style Details chapter, but for now I’ll just say that you need to keep an eye out for what’s included with your wedding package. Some venues will throw in tidbits like pretty chair covers – great if you can get them, but the question is, do you really want them? Unless their seating really ruins your theme or is all-out supremely hideous, at around £3 to £5 per chair on average, that’s another £300 to £500 for 100 people. Before you put your John (or Joanne) Hancock on anything, talk about ditching the bonus bits and trimming down the bottom line.
The same goes for stationery. It’s common for an all-in package to include bits like menus and place names. Ask to see samples, and find out how much of your quote they’ll be setting you back. If they do the job and they’re easy on your margins, go with them by all means, but scout out local printers beforehand to check you couldn’t get them cheaper – and more personalised – yourself.
Then there’s VAT. It’s not uncommon for venues to quote an off-their-head price that sounds spectacular until you realise they’re not counting the tax. Be clear on whether it’s included or you could end up with a bumper bill that’s due the week before your big day.
Beyond the Norm
If you’re open to suggestions for your reception venue, or you’re looking for somewhere quirky and so you, there are ways to nigh-on cancel all your hire costs. Remember: as long as you do the legal bit in a certified room or registry office, you can do the rest wherever you want.
At one particularly lovely wedding I went to, the bride and groom had the ceremony the week before, then on the day the bride’s dad acted as registrar. He read some of his own words while the bride and groom exchanged rings and said how they really felt in front of close friends and family. In case you’re wondering: not a dry eye in the house.
Whether you have the ceremony on the day or a more intimate get-together just before then, doing the ‘I do’s’ separately to dancing the night away blows your venue options wide open.
The Grand Theme of Things
So we’ve established that you can hold your reception wherever you want once the papers are signed – and that means a friend’s house or back garden if you happen to know someone with plenty of space, and even more patience. Remember though, if you throw your bash at a mate’s place or go with the marquee option you’ll usually have more choice of suppliers, but you have to be prepared to handpick them yourself – and to sort out the cleaning afterwards.
If you’d rather stick someone else with the washing up, don’t forget you can break out your first dance at any party venue. If you’re having trouble finding anything realistic when you Google ‘wedding venues’ in your area, swap in ‘party venues’ and see what happens.
You’d be surprised how many weird and wonderful places regularly set aside rooms for celebrations: aquaria; boats; cinemas – especially indie ones; courts (yes, you read that right); galleries; libraries; museums; sports clubs; theatres; tourist attractions; unis and colleges outside term time; zoos…
But there are even more options beyond those. Sometimes options neither you nor even the owner has ever thought of. At the end of the day, where you hold your do is about where you can negotiate hire of, even if they don’t normally do it.
How about a loft or apartment that’s available for short-term rental? There are all sorts of sites that offer up people’s homes in popular cities such as London or Edinburgh – just check with the homeowner whether it’s okay to bring a fair few friends back.
Then there are photo studios – they’re often up for hire for freelance photographers and can be great if you’re after a real blank canvas. Because they’re often owned by arty types, you can find some amazing buildings with exposed brick or beams for a cool, contemporary backdrop.
Wherever you find yourself, even if they don’t usually hire out to anyone at all, if you like the space and can see it transformed for your big day, what’s the harm in asking? You’ve got the best chance of getting a green light from the manager if you stick to these three simple rules:
1. The Time is Right
When is the